markashbyblog.com

where to begin...

2011-12-27T06:04:00.000-08:00

It has been a VERY long time since I have blogged. To just be able to share my thoughts on a subject and have 20 people read it gets my blood pumping. I love it when people comment also. I used to think that this blog was my big ticket. If Justin Bieber can be discovered on youtube singing, surely I can be discovered from my blog.

How often have we dreamed of something like that? We want to have it all. To be discovered. To have the book deal. To be on the speaking circuit. To have OTHER youth ministers look to you for guidance in their own ministries. To write curriculum that will be published. To be THAT special utensil that God uses to change many, many lives. I will be honest and say that I have often dreamt that. I have had people tell me that I am going to be a big deal. People have also tried to bring me down, saying untrue comments or things about the youth ministry I am in, only to hurt me, the ministry and the church itself.

The great thing about being in youth ministry is simple. I get to be a special tool to help mold and shape lives of discipleship, faithfulness, and a desire to pursue Christ into students. A while ago, I posted some verses on my wall that meant something to me at some point. It had meaning, I am sure, but I can't distinctly remember the day or time when it had some special meaning for me to print it out. The verses are from 2 Timothy 2:19-26 which says, "¹⁹ But God’s truth stands firm like a foundation stone with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,”^[a] and “All who belong to the Lord must turn away from evil.”^[b]
²⁰ In a wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. ²¹ If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.
²² Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.
²³ Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. ²⁴ A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. ²⁵ Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. ²⁶ Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants."

I looked back at these verses and I read them. I tried to remember where I was going when I printed these. I tried to remember what was I going through in my life that I needed such encouragement from God. I simply couldn't remember.

However, looking at these verses today, I can say with truthfulness that I have always seen myself as the day to day utensil. I never say myself as the gold or silver spoon that is always shining and ready to be used for any occasion. I have strived to be that golden utensil though. I wanted to be at the top. I am programmed to be at the top and never let second place be enough. To quote the great Ricky Bobby from the movie Taladega Nights, "If you ain't first, you're last!"

I always thought that was a cute and funny phrase, and occasionally I will say things like this to my students sarcastically. I have always wanted to be at the top. However, in the sight of God, I am the special golden utensil. I am the utensil, I just have to be ready.

I hope the verses out of 2 Timothy really encourage you today. With God, we are always first. Our sins have been thrown to the deepest oceans and forgotten. He loves YOU and ME unconditionally, Agape Love. I have figured out that no matter how many degrees I earn, no matter how many books I write, no matter how many achievements I receive in life, under the Cross I will lay down my crown(s) and wait to be used by God whenever and wherever I can be used. I must be patient and kind at all times, ready to preach that Jesus rose from the dead and is alive today.

2 Timothy 2:9(b) says, "..But the Word of God canNOT be chained down." (emphasis added). Do not try to be something or somebody that you are not. God created us to teach and preach the truth that WE have come to know. A peace that surpasses all wisdom and knowledge. This will be my prayer for you and me today; to be able to be kind and patient, to be able to be vulnerable enough to be the utensil God made us to be, and to teach or tell someone that Jesus is still alive today as He was 2000+ years ago and even when the world was created!

running...

2011-09-12T06:24:00.000-07:00

So often in youth ministry, there is a marathon that we run. We go from one school to the next, we go from this dance recital to that football game. We try to make time to hang out with the students, but also try to find some one on one time with those that need special counseling and attention for problems going on in their lives. So often, we are simply running and not even looking where we are going.

I sit here today, fatigued a little. I have been going non stop at school functions, youth functions, church meetings, family things, pregnancy appointments with my wife, and just trying to make things all fit in my schedule. My calendar on my phone is empty, but in my head, I have more dates than I care to remember sometimes.

Yet, I was watching some Skit Guys videos this morning. I was really amazed at the way the present the Gospel to people in such a unique and creative way. So much of my ministry has been just maintained. I run the race, but I don't really see the finish line. I don't have a goal sometimes. I need to simplify my ministry.

One thing I have realized is that my ministry, and probably yours, has different goals than the church. No matter how much we justify it, we have different views and goals to achieve even though we claim we align ourselves with the churches vision. Most youth ministers, me included, would say that we are here to grow disciples. Someone might ask how we do that, and then we roll out our calendar and show them all the great things we can do with the youth and how they can get plugged in. However, where is the discipleship? My view for my ministry is to teach students to love God and to love others to God. My churches mission is to reach up, reach in and reach out. Or put more simply, connect grow and serve. I see these three points and my points and feel they are connected but worded differently.

Usually, there is division amongst churches in every ministry. We all strive to be the best and want to succeed the most. I want us to look back a little bit. We need to see that running the fastest doesn't mean we will always be the best. For a youth ministry to succeed, we must not be our own church. We are a branch of the church we are a part of. All the visions and missions should be unified, from diapers to diapers (babies to old people).

Finding unification between the church mission and your youth group mission, being sold on that, selling the leaders and volunteers in your group, and trickling that down to the students will not only help the discipleship process, but it will help your vision for the youth ministry to be able to reach goals. If it can fall into any of the categories (assuming they are connect, grow and serve) then you can put aside things that don't fit this, create new opportunities for discipleship within the perimeters of the vision and mission, and move forward focusing on growing your group as a family and spiritually.

storying...

2011-08-25T05:48:00.001-07:00

Last night, my youth groupstarted a archaic form of Bible Study last night that I want to pass along to all who read the blog. It is called "Storying". The goal is to learn the Oral Bible and share it with students, recalling the story and details in it. During this process, students are encouraged to dig deeper and find their place in the story of God, as opposed to trying to place God in their own story. Through the process, they begin to see how BIG God is, and how we fit into His greater plan and story for each of us. The reference, if you would like to try it, is from Michael Novelli's book "Shaped By The Story" and you can find each of these narratives at www.echothestory.com. Each week I will post this as we study it, and also give insight as to how my students are learning and adapting to it. At first, it may feel like story time, but if you can get your students to really participate, it will become more vibrant for them and they begin to use their imaginations and really connect with each story. The first week is about Creation and the Biblical references for this narrative are: Genesis 1-2, Job 38:4-7, Psalm 8, Psalm 103:19-22, Isaiah 45:18, 2 Peter 2:5, and Jude 6.

This first Episode in God’s Story, called “Creation,” begins like this...
Creation
Before anything existed, there was an amazing and mysterious being called God. While God was creating the earth, angels watched with amazement, singing together and shouting for joy! God created these beautiful angels to worship him. But some of these angels rebelled against God and his ways – any rebellion against God is called sin. God doesn’t allow sin to remain in his presence, so he sent the rebellious angels into darkness on the earth,
to face final punishment later. (Pause)
Then God took the earth, which was dark and formless, and prepared it as a place for life.
God’s Spirit moved over the surface of the earth as...
He made light – separating it from the darkness... He divided the oceans and the sky... He gathered the waters, so dry land would appear... He grew plants, flowers, and trees... all with seeds in them so they could reproduce themselves... He created the sun, the moon and the stars... then set the days and seasons into motion...
He filled the seas with fish, the sky with birds, and the earth with all kinds of wild animals! God put great care and creativity into all of his creation. God looked at this and said, “This is really good!”
After he had prepared the earth, God decided he would create another being, one who was lower than the angels. God said, “We will make humans in our image, to be like us. We’ll put them in charge of the earth, the plants and all the animals that live on it.” So God took dirt from the earth and formed this first human. Then, God breathed his own breath into him, giving him life. This first human would be called Adam.
God placed Adam in a beautiful garden, where he provided everything he needed. In this garden, God planted all kinds of trees that produced delicious fruit so Adam would always have plenty to eat. God gave Adam the responsibility to take care of this garden and all of the creatures that lived there. God even brought all of the animals right to Adam so he could give them names!
In the middle of the garden were two special trees – a Tree of Life, and a tree that could give Knowledge of Good and Evil. God told Adam to enjoy fruit from any tree in the garden – except for one; God warned him, “If you eat fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, you will definitely die.” (Pause)
Then God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a partner who will help him.” So God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. While Adam was asleep, God removed one of his ribs and then closed up his side where it was taken from. God used Adam’s rib to form the first woman. When God brought her to Adam, Adam shouted, “At last!” Adam called his new companion Eve, which means “giver of life.”
So God created both the man and woman to be like him – created in God’s own image.
God blessed Adam and Eve with the ability to continue his creation by having children. God joined them in a close relationship as husband and wife, where they devoted themselves to each other. Although Adam and Eve were naked, they felt no shame.
And God would come and spend time with the humans, walking with them in the cool of the day. They lived under God’s care and protection – a life that was full and complete. As God looked over all of his creation he thought, “This is excellent in every way!” After creating all of this, God rested... and set aside a day of rest each week for all of his creation.

new advenutres...

2011-07-26T05:41:00.000-07:00

It's been about a week since my big announcement on my blog. I am super excited about what God has placed in my life right now and I can't say it won't come without stress, hard work, and determination. I am ready for some new adventures.

This summer has been a crazy busy one with me youth group. We have gone on three trips, outings and everything else in between. There really has been much of a down moment. This past week, however, might highlight my summer. We went to St. Augustine Beach, Florida to a retreat put on by Ignition Retreats. There were three total churches there and 86 total people. It was small and intimate, but God was definitely on the move.

You see, God has placed on my heart that this group that I am currently leading is ready for service. We have done a lot of service and mission projects already, however, we are ready to go global! That being said, I took 12 students on this retreat. Sure there was the share of drama and luckily no one got injured other than being burnt to extra crispy by our dear friend the Sun, but we really had some great fellowship and some amazing worship time.

During the trip, we also offered work shops. This was a place where students could go and talk with one of the leaders about certain subjects. I decided to take on struggling Christians. I felt, that since I have had my share of struggles lately that I would talk and help some of these students. Little did I know, one of my own students would later accept Christ.

For me, and according to the Bible, one student who has had a very troubled past finally asked for help for the first time in his life and asked Christ to forgive him of his sins and to come into his heart and be Lord of his life. To me, this is the most successful story of the trip. There may have been other students who did not say they became a believer or not, but I know that Heaven rejoiced over this one.

It has been a while since I have done something that exhilarating. When I finally sat down and talked with this student, he was crying and I was too! This really got my juices of evangelism flowing. I am ready for the fall. One to start getting back into a normal schedule again. Two: to start preparing these students for preaching and teaching the Gospel to ANYONE! And last but not least I am ready to see what God has in store for my group this fall.

What things are you preparing for your ministry this fall? Or do you plan on making any changes to the youth programming? Tell me your thoughts!

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT...

2011-07-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

To all who read my blog, I want to say thank you. Because of recent posts and hits on my blog I have been offered a book contract.

Thomas Nelson Publishing has offered me a contract to write a book titled "second hand youth ministry". The book will be out in March of next year.

There will be details to come as I have more details. Please be on the look out and again it is all because of you who read my blog and generated a lot of buzz. Thanks so much but all glory goes to God for this amazing time.

the Father I always had (part 5)...

2011-07-14T05:35:00.000-07:00

This week, I have been brave. I have revealed a lot about myself that a lot of the world doesn't know. I am a pretty personal kind of guy, and I like my privacy. However, thinking of the blog and how I could possibly reach people with the message of love and hope from Christ, I thought of this blog series.

You see, when I began this, it seem to have come out as a hate fest for my father. All I did was expose his sin and none of mine. I shared how he failed me as a parent on more than one occasion. Here is a news flash that's not really new news to anyone: I have sinned too. I failed my father as a son MANY times. I let my parents down. I tried to get away with more stuff and I did! I was no angel, but I did not want to make it appear that way.

Throughout my 26 years of existence, I did many things to bring shame to my father, but he showed me unconditional love. Tough love at times, but still showed me love. He did raise me right, at times. He was not perfect, nor am I; yet, I put him on this trophy shelf and walked around depending on him and him alone at times.

Friends and people who read this blog, this is the biggest mistake we can ever make. I have learned through ALL of these experiences, and many more that I didn't feel were necessary to tell, that we can't lean on our own understanding. In my eyes, my dad had it ALL figured out. He was married, well respected, knew lots of people and helped all those who needed it. He has helped me more times than I can count.

I love my father that raised me. Failures and successes in his parenting, but I don't love the person he has become once the spot light was shown on him. Like I described yesterday, I was in a hole that I never thought I would come out of. There is only one reason I came out of it. I faced the sin in my life, faced the situation before me, and grab and hold onto the hand of God so that He can bring me out.

I always talked about faith, and I know that God blessed me many times, but I have never leaned my entire life on Him before. I always tried to yield some control back to me. I wanted to choose my path in life. And it led me to the pit. God saved me when I was 17 and became a believer, God rescued me at 25 when I fell into a dark hole that I never thought I would come out of.

I went through much therapy and Christian Counseling for my problems. Finally, God brought me out of it. I have a past and I have acknowledged my sin. I leaned on Christ. I finally realized that, through my failings, my fathers failings, there is a world of sin out there and MANY need to be saved and loved back to Christ. My father is one of those people. I am one of those people.

I can't sit here on my soapbox and act perfect while blaming my father for all my mistakes, because it isn't his fault! He made plenty, but so have I. Whoever reads this blog, I want you to get one thing; that NO MATTER WHAT we MUST lean on Christ with our whole being. In NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM can we do ANYTHING ELSE BUT LEAN ON HIM!

I have a renewed passion for Christ. I am a hypocrite, how I got there, why I left there, why I went back is the story of my life, but it's not the whole story. I am a sinner. How I got there, why I left there, why I went back is the story of my life; But it's not the whole story.

The story of my life is still being written until my last breath, but I want those who read this blog to be encouraged. Life is not always a bed of roses, because if you were on a bed of roses think of all the thorns that my stick in your back and legs! We all have our mistakes, our shames, our dark secrets that we don't want people to know. I have shared a few this week but it was through prayer that this all came together. Christ has really shown me how to fully depend on Him. When I heard people say it, I would say it's a great idea but it's not possible. I am here to tell you it is! Don't let our lives get down to the pit. I had my Job experience. I praise God even today for bringing me out of the pit. It is a daily battle with Satan and His onslaught of attacks, but with Christ's help and protection, I am secure.

I really hope, through the darkness of my life, that you can see and read through the words the love of Christ. The reason for my blog series was to show my vulnerability but to know that God has already covered it up and threw it as far as the east is from the west. I have learned that I can't fix my father, but it's also not my job too. I pray for him and his new wife almost every day. It is hard to, but with God listening to me and sitting there with me, I do it. Love God. Love others to God.

the father I never wanted (part 4)...

2011-07-13T02:00:00.000-07:00

This week has been really emotionally draining for me. I am sharing some VERY personal testimony with my blog audience and theoretically the whole world. It's kind of weird. After Monday's post, I got some emails from people saying that they read my blog and it has really reached them. One person said, "I believe you can reach a lot of people with this blog series. If not, you reached one." That was really encouraging for me.

Sharing these experiences makes me seem like I am blaming my life problems on my father. This is far from the truth. As you can probably tell, my father and I don't talk much anymore. Since you read yesterday's post, my father and I have had a rocky relationship since. Since my father cheated on my mother, he has since married the woman across the street from the house I grew up in. He has turned his parents against my mother and my brothers. What once was a close family now lies in ruins. There are bits and pieces here and there, but NOTHING like it used to be.

My father has 6 other brothers and sisters. My grandparents were Catholic and Italian, so this makes reason for 7 kids. My father, however, was always held up higher than his brothers and sisters. He was the good one, the one who would be most successful. My father was the proverbial golden child. Sociology will tell you that this is pretty normal for families of 3 or more kids.

Looking back at my father's history, he has a God complex. He can do whatever he wants and still get away with it in the end. To me, this is as obvious as the sun is to daytime now. However, this "trait" that my dad carried around was passed on in his family. It was passed on to me.

I have said before, my father and I were not really close until I could find common ground with him. That took me 18 years. Finally after that, my dad and I were really close. I would call him every day and just ask stupid and random questions. On other occasions I would text him funny things or send him emails of funny pictures I found. He was there for me. Finally, I could have a REAL relationship with my father.

Yet, when I look back at my life, I see that I have acted A LOT like my father over the years. It's kind of like the statistic that says, if a child views their parents fighting physically, 86% of the time, they will be a victim of domestic abuse later on in their life. Now my father never laid a hand on my mother, but his emotional abuse towards my mother, my brothers, and me were just as bad. I effectively picked up parts of my father that I never realized I had.

When I was a teenager, I had problems lying about small and big things. It would be about anything! If I was leaving to go get Wendy's for lunch, I would tell my mom I am going to WalMart for a minute. It never made sense. Hind sight REALLY is 20-20. I was a horrible person.

When my father broke the news to me that he was divorcing my mother, I went into shock. I think my shock lasted longer than it should have. That night I called my girlfriend, who is my NOW wife, and told her we were going to get through this. She and I had just started dating as well.

My father, through out his marriage, was the king manipulator. He ALWAYS got his way. It was crazy. I never noticed how he did it, but some how I picked it up. When I was a teenager, it was as if I discovered I had super powers. I realized and learned how to manipulate people to my advantage, and I was good at it. This is why the lying was so out of control. I had many problems and I used people, even my closest friends to get my way.

After hearing the devastating news, I saw my life in a new light. I saw the problems that I didn't notice before. Suddenly, as if the entire world shut off into black and a giant spot light was placed on me, I saw myself in a different light. I was still acting as the manipulative teenager that I was. I became a believer at 17, but somehow sin had a hold on me. Because of this giant awakening, I shut down mentally.

I was spiraling out of control. I went into a deep depression, but swept it under the rug. During this time I was a worship leader for our contemporary service, doing youth ministry and recreation ministry. I was working 8 days a week, 26 hours a day! I was non stop and it was my belief that the harder I worked, the better it would become. Then, I hit the wall.

I was engaged to my now wife during this time, I was seeking counseling for my problems, but I had sunk REALLY low. It got to the point where I would make up excuses not to go into work. I didn't want to breathe. I was ready to die. Because of all this pain and turmoil inside me, I had to leave my job. I loved the church, the pastor, the students, but it was unfair to them for me to be living this way. I could not spiritually pour into them anymore. I was a dried up well. So I left my church after only being there 13 months. I let down the church, my pastor, the kids, my future wife and her family, my family, myself....but as you can see I listed ALL these people before God. I know I let Him down too. I was literally broken from the inside out.

I am coming to the conclusion of this blog series pretty soon. As a reader of my blog, I want you to know that I love my father, just not the person he has become. When the light is truly shined on you, you may not like what you see. It's not about who I am to all the people in my congregation. It is not about all the people who are in my youth group. It is not about my group of friends. It is not about my wife. My life is about who I am to the one who gave me life in the first place. Big Daddy Weave said it best, it's to my audience of one.

I may have betrayed my father as he has betrayed his family. God can save anyone, but I gave up on trying to save my father. I know what my cross is the bear, and that is the relationship with my father. Questions come up all the time in my head: What will my children say? Am I honoring God by this? What am I doing? How can I be so callous towards my father who raised me, was at my baseball games, supported me financially through the flops of life, and helped shape the man I am today?

The father I knew is dead. He will tell you he is the same person, just now with exposed sin to the community. That is a lie. I have sins that are not exposed, but I have many that are. My sin now is that I am/was not honoring God, my heavenly father. At times I have wished my father to die. I want him to be dead because he is already dead to me. I wished harm and prayed for harm to happen to his "new" family. But then I remember the spot light that God shone on me. I saw who I was, and where I have come from that....only God can make a dry well overflow with water again.

the father I never wanted (part 3)...

2011-07-12T04:34:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking and really searching deep in myself since I started this series. I was questioning whether I should be plastering all this info on the internet. Students, student leaders, any random person trolling through blogs are reading this. They see the personal side of me which, until now, I tried to keep as private as possible.

For those that read this blog and know me, I am sorry if it seems as though I am dishonoring my father. As I have stated and will continue to state, I love my father with all my heart. However, the person he is will never be a part of my life again. At least I keep telling myself that.

For now, I will continue the series with the most devastating news that came into my life about 2 years ago. My father, the thief, liar, and cheater finally revealed himself in true form on October 10, 2009.

At this time in my life, I was 24 years old, finally had my first full time job as a youth minister at a great church and I had an amazing girlfriend who was very supportive of me and my crazy habits and addictions (trivia every Tuesday night). However, one day I got a phone call from my dad. He told me he was in the area and wanted to come and see me. I said, "SURE! Come on in and I will show you around the church and my NEW office!".

My father arrived and I was so happy. I was excited to show him around and for him to see my new big office. It was great! So they buzzed him in, and he came up the stairs to my office. We hugged, made small talk, and then he dropped the biggest atomic bomb that would destroy ANYONE'S life! "Mark, your mother and I decided to get a divorce."

I laughed at him and said "No really, what's up?" With a stone cold face, he sat there staring at me. I turned from my computer and looked him in the eyes. I started to cry. I asked him, is there another woman? "No", he said. In my mind I have 4 billion questions to ask, but my mouth could not utter one word.

I finally look at him and I said with tears streaming down my face, "then why? Why would you quit on our family? Why would you quit on your marriage? You're not a quitter! You told us NEVER TO QUIT!"With a stone cold face, he sat there and said nothing. I am not sure if his emotions were getting to him or if he literally had no words to say.

I looked at him and was now yelling at him. I called him everything from being a quitter to words I should never say in a church. I chewed my father out. MY hero has fallen. I felt like my heart sank to the basement and in a pit that had no end. I had no clue what was coming next.

After the waves calmed a little, I began to have a dream. LET ME BE CLEAR HERE: I am in NO way shape or form a prophet. I do not claim messages from God about people or destroying people etc. I am a person who has had 3 dreams in my life that have been so vivid in details that I believe God was telling ME something. Sorry, had to clear the air. The dream was a recurring dream for 3 nights in a row. It started out with me and my father talking on a couch. I was begging him to tell us why he was getting a divorce and all he was doing was crying. I finally screamed PLEASE in my dream. My father turns his head into the couch and says, "I had an affair with Elaine." He won't talk after this. Suddenly I am with Elaine (this is a woman who lived RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY HOUSE FOR MORE THAN 15 YEARS!) and I am asking her how she could do this to us. She didn't say anything. All she did was laugh. Then I would wake up.

During the following months from October 10, I was still in contact with my father. I had the belief I could fix my parents marriage! Hello Hollywood! However, the rest of my family kept telling me that my father had an affair. I didn't believe it. I kept asking him and he said no. He would never lie to me.

Between the ages of 0-18, I had almost no connection with my father. When I told him I felt a calling to the ministry, he kept telling me that I was making a stupid mistake because there is no money in ministry. When I started to see his life changing, I thought maybe I was having some impact. When I became an adult and went to college, my father and I began to be real close. We would talk of spiritual matters. He had come to grips with me and my calling to youth ministry. He was supportive. So between the ages of 18-24, my father was my hero. He would help me ANY time I needed it. He would pick me up if I fell down. He was always there for me. This is why it hurt even more when the news came to my office in October and when the worse news came December 22, 2009.

It was a few days before Christmas, but at this point I have found evidence that my father had an affair with the woman across the street. It all began when I told my oldest brother about my dream. He said that was interesting. He then told me later that, because of my dream, he felt he should investigate this more; to which we then found evidence of him writing emails about his affairs and how he and Elaine plotted to destroy our family and begin their new lives together.

December 22, 2009 was the day I lost my father forever. You see, he told my mother of not just 1 affair, but of 12 different affairs in their 33 year marriage. That same day, after he admitted to all this to my mother, I told him he had to tell me in person. We met at his office. He told me of his affairs, but tried to have word play to make it sound as though my mother made him do this. I know my mother had problems in this marriage as well, but NO woman drives another man to have an affair. It is all by choice and my father chose this path, after 3 years into their marriage.

Suddenly, it became a defensive yelling match. I called my father names that I KNEW would hurt him. I was on the offense trying to defend the family that remained in shambles. My father screams at me some vulgar names as well. It got to the point where he told me to hit him and I dove across the table. I had him with my fist in the air, and he is screaming if you hit me will it make you feel better? Finally I pull back and....stop. I look at my father red faced and angry. He is trying to beat around the bush. I told my father that he is not worth the clothes he is wearing. I told him sternly to never call, text, email, smoke signal or carrier pigeon me EVER again. I told him I hate him and then I spit in his face, pushed him away and stormed out of his office.

To date, this was the most devastating news I have ever had before me. I have had relatives pass, friends die, people hurting come to me and tell me things. This will always be at the top of my list. As I continue this series, I will continue this series tomorrow as to how my life got out of control FAST because of this news.

Again, most people are thinking that this is dishonoring to my father. Most people will probably stop reading because of the novels I am writing and it may make them feel uncomfortable. Risk taking is the way to continue to show faithfulness to God and to honor him. I am taking HUGE risks by posting these deep feelings and pains I have felt through my life.

To me, this is the strength that I have found in Christ. I continue to follow him, fail, and come back to him. However, in my mind, up to this point, I believed that I was a hero. I could save my father. He was my hero so now it was time for the student to become the teacher. I have learned that only God can change him, and I can't. I had to let it go. I have still talked to my father on occasion. I have asked him questions and he has asked me questions. However, things are never going to be the same. My father is a different person. He raised me and was there for me, but he is not the man I know. I have to find the true father who has always been there and is always the same through the ages!

the father I never wanted (part 2)...

2011-07-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I shared with the audience of this blog a severely deep and personal story that changed the direction of my life when I was young. After years of therapy, I feel like I am in an OK place to tell that story, along with many others. Today I will continue my blog series this week of the father that I never wanted.

For those who don't know, I am writing about my father who was present in my life, supported me through my ups and downs of life, and was there for me when I needed him. This sounds like a great life. As I said in my prior post, my father was a person who was well respected in the community we lived in. People looked up to him and because of his reputation, I was respected around the community as well.

I know my posts this week can seem like I am throwing a pity party, and most of you are wondering what this has to do student ministry. I promise there is a catch to this, and it all leads to my last post. However, I will share another personal and dark time in my life where my father, though present, was NOT what I believe a father should be.

It was my senior year in high school. At this time in my life, I had turned my life over to Christ. I became a believer on November 22, 2002 on a Chrysalis retreat. For those that aren't sure what that is, it is a retreat sponsored by the Methodist Church that is for teens to get out of their comfort zone and to really challenge them internally for a spiritual revival. Christ did a work in me on that week. In fact, I told people that I was going to "spread a wild fire of Christ". I wasn't that articulate at 17.

At the tail end of my senior year, I started dating a wonderful Christian girl. She was pure. She was beautiful. I had won the Christian lottery! This relationship lasted 2 1/2 years. She was my first love.

About 1 year into my relationship, I was back from college for the Christmas break. My father and I had a tradition that we would go to IHOP every Sunday morning before church. It was our thing. This is where my dad and I got to grow. Now I was more of an adult and I had a chance to REALLY get to know my father. However, I had no clue who my father was. I will share that story later. Let's stay on task.

One Sunday morning, my father and I wake up early and we decide to continue our tradition and go to IHOP. We go and my father and I are talking about school and he is sharing stories with me about his time in college. I was really bonding with my father on a personal level.

Let me take a step back and clarify something. My father and I were never close until I was an adult. He and I NEVER had anything in common. I was always lazy and excelled only at things I had interest in. Academia was never one of those interests. I have always been more interested in people and relationships. Which is where I pick back up in the story.

The conversation over Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity (minus the fruity) moved from school to my relationship with my then girlfriend. I was telling him plans I had of us marrying and our ideas of where our relationship was going and how I felt God was blessing us beyond all belief! My dad put his fork down, leaned back and crossed his arms. After all of my going on about my great relationship, he asked if I was finished. I told him I was and this is where it turned awkward.

My father began to ask my questions in the sexual nature about my girlfriend. He was asking me how far my girlfriend and I had gone. He began to then coach me on how to get her to go further and said that if she did not put out, that it was not worth pursuing.

Needless to say, I was shocked. I had the sex talk when I was younger. I knew what their was to know, but having my father tell me this was a punch to the gut. He told me that he didn't care for her because she wasn't "caring" for me. He continued to coach me and as his son, I didn't know what to say or do. I didn't have the right to correct my father. So I sat and listened.

My father is a person who a liar, a cheater, a thief, and in complete denial about his own life and his past that led him to where he is today. I am blessed to even have a father. Some people would kill to have any kind of male figure to be in their life. For me, it was not just that he was there, but it would be about 7 years from this conversation that I would really find out the man that my father was.

The scary thing is, that at times I see myself acting like my father. Whenever he wanted something, he would find ways to get it. Whenever people needed help, he would find a way to help. I learned a lot from my father during my years that we talked, and subconsciously I picked up a lot of his manipulative and sociopathic methods. If I didn't have the reality slap that was heard around my family and home community, I would not be the husband and future father that I am.

However, the connection here is that I have found solace in the one Father that changed my life in November of 2002. The 17 year old that was then is now a man of God and integrity who stills falls short of glory but has accepted and lives in the grace that is offered to me.

Tomorrow I explain the deepest pain I have ever known and was the downfall of my life with my father. This is where our relationship flat lined.

the father I never wanted (part 1)...

2011-07-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

Over the next few weeks, I am going to be doing a series of blog posts that are going to dig very deep into my personal life. One thing I have tried to limit is my personal life on the internet. Once it is there, you can never get it back. Or so "they" say. Well, here I plan on sharing about my father and how my relationship with him has changed, evolved, and after everything else, has fallen to a pit of non repair.

Let me begin by having a "bless his heart" moment; you know, the times where you say something nice, but then proceed to gossip about someone or something. None of this is going to be false or gossip. Everything in the weeks to come is ALL true and I wish I would be making this up. Join me on my trip about the father that I had but never wanted. Let it be known that I love my father with all my heart, only if I knew who my father was.

I grew up in a middle class family. My mom was a nurse and my father was a lawyer. Anything that I wanted, I pretty much got. I do believe I was spoiled as a kid. I had a great life. We took great vacations. My dad was a model citizen in the community. He stood for honesty and he always tried to help with those that needed help. I had a great father to look up to.

However, my first encounter with the father that I never wanted began when I was 9 years old. I had problems as a child with wetting the bed. There was no psychological reason for it, I just did. (Like I said, this is getting personal already!). So my parents decided to take me to a doctor to see if anything was wrong with me physically. However, the doctor that we went to was a friend of my dad because they worked in the same office complex. So we went to him.

This doctor had been friends with my dad for a few years and he said that he trusted him. He was NOT my primary care physician. We went because we got a deal, even though my mother worked at a doctors office who could have taken care of me for free. So off we went. The doctor entered the room, made my parents and the nurse leave the room, and made me take off my pants to "check" me. After the examination, I went home and that night and nights after that I was crying. This doctor had abused me. One night, my mom walked into my room, asked why I was crying and I told her what happened in exam room 3. She stayed with me in my room and cried with me that night.

The next day, my mother told my father what happened. He acted angry and said he was going to take action. Days went by, then a week. I was wondering what happened. Because of this event, I was seeing a therapist and I would always tell him I wanted to know what was happening with this doctor and my dad. I never found out that year. In fact, it was until I was 16 that I found out my father walked into his office and said we would not be coming back. Nothing else.

Now, I am not a father yet, so it is hard for me to describe what it would be like for me to defend my son. However, I can imagine that when I do become a father, I would be ready to shoot the man that touched my son. My dad did not. He talked sternly to him.

At this point in my life, this was the first time that I felt REAL disappointment. Nothing happened. No defense. No law suit. No nothing. Just simple talk that says we would not return.

My family was very active in the church. We loved our church and I was very involved in it, for a 9 year old. However, I was learning at this age what it meant to lean on God. I can't say that I knew God yet. I knew Bible stories and hymns, but I did NOT share a relationship much with my earthly father or my heavenly father. I just felt disconnected from both. And this is where my life started to take a turn.

I will continue tomorrow with part 2 of the father that I never wanted.

losing it...

2011-07-07T06:39:00.000-07:00

Have you ever come to work, sit down ready to work and then you realize that you feel like you have lost your ministry? Today, I sort of have that sense. Maybe it's because I got selfish. I didn't yield control over to God more. I am not sure what or where this feeling came from.

Sometimes in youth ministry, we can get really discouraged about things. For me, there is a myriad of things going on at once. I have a hard time saying no to things when it comes to church work. It piles up. Specially since I have not been in my office for almost a month! Life has been somewhat difficult and different for me when it comes to Summer Youth Ministry.

I will always know that you have those dedicated few that go on trips and come to Bible studies. I love these students and adore them for their dedication to God and to the youth ministry of my church. However, sometimes we can feel like we have run out of steam. The engine is slowing down.

This is where the network of youth ministry comes in handy. I feel like I can ask for prayers. I don't normally do something like this, but I feel like it would be appropriate. At the same time, below, list some things I can pray about for your ministry or even yourself.

I came back from vacation last week and I can tell you that I feel refreshed. Somehow, I have hit a plateau and I am praying to God this morning that I relinquish control back to Him. I can't handle the fullness of the reigns that I tried to take from Him.

Do you ever feel this way? What are some things you do in the summer to keep momentum going? What do you do to help build relationships? How is your prayer time with God and your devotion time with God? Leave comments, prayer requests, prayers, or ideas down below!

fallen...

2011-07-04T06:56:00.000-07:00

The month of June has been VERY long for me. There was always something going on with our youth ministry or the church and somehow the youth ministry was roped into it! It was very tiring but I am so glad to be a part of it. It showed me how much my students are willing to serve and how much they love the church they are in. I am tired, but refreshed after my short vacation to the beach where I did a WHOLE lot of nothing! I am ready to get things going and ready for a lot more ministry....that is until I got a punch in the gut late last week.

I was sitting on the veranda reading a book and I got a call from my best friend. I knew he was on a mission trip with his youth group, so something must be wrong. I listened to his voice mail he left me and almost dropped my phone. There was a youth pastor, whom we both knew very well, and he was ARRESTED FOR CHILD MOLESTATION! This youth pastor was in a relationship with a 15 year old girl. On Monday, June 27, he was arrested early in the morning at the Atlanta airport, RIGHT AFTER returning from a mission trip.

I can't say that I know all the details of the investigation because I do not. I am simply telling of what I do know from media sources and outlets. Now, this youth pastor and I go back a ways. We were not the best of friends, but we knew of each other and could probably pick each other out of a crowd of people. However, when I heard this, my heart sank! This youth pastor has a family, a wife and 2 kids. The sadder thing is, this was described as a relationship with this 15 year old girl. This required effort and methodical action.

So here I am, on July 4th, the birthday of our nation and I am sad. When I see how this can happen to people we know, I am also thinking about the freedom the Christ offers us in His grace and love. Satan is looking at this and is thinking that the fall of this youth minister, the sin that was/is in his life, the way the nation looks at the freedoms we are given and he is laughing. Satan looks at situations like this and dances because another one who works for Christ has gone down because sin eeked into their life.

I have not talked to this youth pastor or his family about what is going on or what happened and I imagine I can't for a LONG time. However, my first reaction was anger. I was angry because of some of the things this youth pastor said not to long ago about others. He was very condescending and he had this holier than thou type of attitude. I was mad. Now looking back, I am now more sad.

I feel for this youth pastor. I have no right to judge him for his actions, only show love to him and pray for him about what is going on. I can only pray for his wife and kids and the STRUGGLE they are going through. I can imagine the hurt and judgement that they may be receiving. I know that I too have fallen from grace. I have had my share of downfalls in my life. Mine were not too long either.

I want us as youth pastors to do a few things:

First, we need to try to guard our hearts from sin such as this youth pastor friend of mine. It can effect ANYONE and Satan sees this as a victory.

Second, we must try to find ways have a heart for those that sin and point them to Jesus. When we see that others are hurting we can show them the same love that Christ shows us. However, we must NEVER put ourselves in any kind of situation that would cause anyone to think something bad. Always guard yourself and protect your family, yourself, and your church.

Finally, we must realize that we are sinners saved by grace and that we will get caught in sin again; but Jesus will always win in the end, because it all points back to the cross.

Sin can grab the best of us. We are given MANY freedoms to talk how we want, think how we want, worship how we want, and do almost anything we want. We live in the Freest nation in the Free World. Christ has given us many options, but we must always turn back to Christ.

Does sin still grab you today, while leading your youth ministry? What is the biggest sin you see your students struggling with? How do you help students deal with sin or things going on in their lives? Are you protecting yourself, your family, and your church when counseling other students?
Leave your comments below!

exhausted...

2011-06-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

I have not blogged in over 2 weeks! I have tried a few times, but it all felt like junk. The reason I have not been able to blog is because I have been going non stop with my youth ministry. We went on a 5 day mission trip to Augusta, GA. The next week we had VBS. We just got done with another mission trip (originally a choir tour) to Birmingham, AL to help one woman clean up the roof of her house out of the back of her yard. Tomorrow, we have our choir tour performance for the whole church. Tomorrow afternoon we go the local area children and youth camp called Camp Dooly. That goes until Wednesday. Can you get the trend here? I really have had NO time to blog.

However, when I had a few minutes of down time, I was trying to think of what to write and couldn't. I had constipation of the mind and couldn't write a thing. Suddenly, while getting some MUCH needed yard work done this morning, it hit me; I am running a marathon and I am in NO shape or form to be running one!

In youth ministry, the normal time to AMP IT UP for your ministry is generally the summer. It is a time to build relationships, hang out more with the students, and just be spontaneous with your schedule. However, I feel that this can hinder a youth ministry. Summer time is the time for trips, missions, and all kinds of fun. We need to remember that this is still spiritual development for our students. As we usher our graduates and bring in new students, this is the time to connect with the group and STILL CONTINUE TO HELP THEM DEVELOP!

Yet, I am exhausted. I have done so much and I have missed a lot of valuable time with my wife and dog. Always make sure that you spend time with family, otherwise it will come back and bite you. Before we can help spiritually develop our students we must keep our spiritual lives in tact as well.

With our hectic summer schedules in full effect, what are ways you are keeping the spiritual development in your group and in your own life? Share comments and suggestions or even questions below!

it's been a long time coming...

2011-06-08T06:32:00.000-07:00

I have a lot going on in my own little world right now. I feel outright selfish about everything that is going on. You see, once in a while I kind of get in this funk. Don't know what it is, but it feels like you're walking down the hall and someone kicks the back of your knee to make you fall and you just can't get up. Maybe a better expression is that you get punched in the gut and the wind is knocked out of your body.

I had this happen to me about two weeks ago. I couldn't seem to get out of my funk. I had some great and exciting things planned for my youth group, we had a trip coming up, and I couldn't seem to get THAT excited about things. I wasn't excited until June 3, 2011 around 10:00 P.M.

We were on a mission trip to River of Life in Augusta, GA. This is the first time the youth group has been on River of Life or any kind mission trip to begin with. Each night we had share time and each student went around and told about there day or something funny or encouraging they did or saw on their work site. The first two days, people repeated each other, just using different lingo as the circle continued. Friday was the day that it changed. They started mentioning things about how they were really encouraged by God and to see ALL the work that had been done was just amazing and that they wanted to come back.

I felt this sudden compassion in my heart. I was like butter and just melted. I love my students and would do anything for them, but to hear them actually talk the way they did REALLY encouraged and lifted my spirits as well.

In youth ministry sometimes we can feel long winded and less encouraged. We can feel like we are so upbeat and uplifting all the time, who can lift us up? God has been so encouraging to me in the past few days and continues to lift my spirits today.

What has God done to you lately that has just lifted you out of the funk? I know we all go through it, but what is some words of encouragement to others or even me that might bring some wind back in the sails of other student pastors. Instead of looking at the glass half full or half empty, lets say look at how much water I have in the first place!

the middle...

2011-05-26T06:03:00.000-07:00

What do you like to do when you go home from work? Sunday nights, Wednesday nights? What does a youth minister do when you go home from the LONG days of hanging out with students? Me? I go home and I watch my TV. I turn into a starch and plop down on my couch. I find myself loving TV shows. Normally, if I watch one or two shows of something, I am generally hooked. This is what I do with my spare time. I am a couch potato.
People always think that the life of a youth minister is glamorous and hollywood, but we all know it isn't. So I am asking, what do you do with your spare time? Some play xbox live, others read, some exercise, others exercise by eating, some watch sports, some play sports, some find ways to hang out with their students, some want to get away from their students.

The reason I am rambling on about this random topic, is because I found myself becoming mad while watching TV last night. I saw the season finale of American Idol, and the person who SHOULD HAVE WON (sorry, little left over frustration) didn't. I turned off the tv and deleted the program from my DVR. I was so mad! and WHY was I so mad? I didn't vote, I didn't do anything but watch and get frustrated with something I had absolutely nothing invested in.

Usually, in youth ministry we can get so invested that we let our emotions get in front of the path. I have seen it before, even in my own ministry, where I let my ego-driven, emotional self get in the lead of our ministry. I also found that the direct correlation from this was I thought I was getting enough God by doing lesson planning and reading books by CS Lewis and Rob Bell. The thing is, we ALWAYS have to make time to spend time with God. My frustration over last night's show caused me to lose sleep. That's CRAZY!

When you have some down time, take some time to make it uplifting with God. Journal, pray, read scripture, memorize scripture, and just take some time to deflate and lay it all down in front of Christ. If you do, great! Keep up the good work! If you don't do it enough and keep saying you want to, THEN DO IT! GET OFF YOUR BUTT, DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND TALK WITH GOD! I bounce back and forth. I go from awesome for a few weeks, then it dwindles to every few days, to once a month, to every Sunday Night and Wednesday night. When we work at a church we need to be poured into doubly. First we must be poured into on our own time with OUR relationship with Christ, then we move to getting poured into AGAIN for the students. LOTS OF WORK!

I am here to encourage you. Keep doing what you do best, being a light of Christ to the students who need it. Don't be afraid to call a student out on something (in a one on one setting) if you feel something is breaking or fracturing their relationship with Christ. When the work day is over, spend time with your family or friends outside of the church. Try not to bring your work home with you. It can get messy sometimes, but drawing boundaries and making sure you and your relationship with Christ are right first is what draws more water from the well.

Share below some techniques or secrets you have to have a quiet time with God or just share what you do when you get home from work. How do you deflate from working with students and meetings at church ALL DAY?

the game...

2011-05-24T05:52:00.000-07:00

This morning, I was rolling through my twitter scroll and I saw a tweet that really stood out to me. It stood out so much, that it has inspired me to blog about the subject! Here is what it said:

burkedaniel Daniel Burke

It is time to stop talking about how to "lure" young folks back into our churches, but how to disciple each one we have.

I thought about this for a minute, and then I also thought how amazing it is that we can share so much wisdom in 140 characters or less! However the message is conveyed, it is VERY true what he is speaking of.

I have a lot of friends in youth ministry. When I talk to other youth pastors, the questions normally run, "how is your church? How big is your group? Got anything big coming up? Let's share that big event so that I can look awesome as you and make you do all the work and just slap my name on it at the end." OK, the last one was a stretch, but so often we are focused on reaching the outside, we miss the people on the inside.

My pastor described ministry to me, as a carnival. If we do nothing but big events, the next one is ALWAYS going to have to outdo the next one. We tend to miss all the people that enjoy it because we are focused on how to make things run smoothly.

When we look at Jesus, and His three years of ministry on this earth, he developed from the inside out. 12 men were chosen and through those 12 men, THOUSANDS came to know Christ. What about us youth ministers? Well, we are focused on our youth's friends to come, because THEN we can have bigger numbers. We figure, our youth are already dedicated, so lets focus on their friends so they come and my numbers get more.

Friends, I am JUST AS GUILTY as the next youth minister to do this. It happens, but we must disciple from the inward out approach. I mean, if it worked for Jesus, surely if we follow Him, it will work for us too.

What are some unique ways you disciple the people that are "regulars"? Comment below and share some ideas, questions, or praises/prayer concerns so that we can be uplifting to one another.

what harold camping got right...

2011-05-23T08:19:00.000-07:00

May 21, 2011. This was the predicted day that the Biblical "rapture" (according to some Baptists and Harold Camping and his followers) would occur. However, if you were like me and MANY other people, we kind of scoffed at the idea that the end of the world was going to happen. We also mocked him and made jokes via twitter and facebook. "Harold Camping was wrong before, he will be wrong again," we probably proclaimed to our students or anyone that would hear us on our blogs, internet radio shows, or really just anyone who would talk about it. I'll be very honest, I mocked him and laughed when I actually heard this man's voice. Yet, in the back of my mind, I thought to myself, "surely this guy is wrong and preaching heresy, but what if he is right? Am I secure in my salvation?"

So I ask you, oh youth ministers of the world, what did Harold Camping get right? Obviously, not the apocalypse. But what he did get right is two things:

1. He got the message out there! Sure Harold Camping and his followers were wrong, but he got the message across. People were investing their lives on this. People were changing their lives for this. People actually believed in this. He got his workers in action. Yet, in youth ministry, don't we struggle just to get our students to participate in games? How can a 89 year old "prophet" rally his troops, yet we can't effectively change the lives of the students involved in our ministry?

2. He got people thinking about God and their own lives! Often times, when I am down in my ministry because things just don't seem to be going my way, I often wonder how effective I am. Camping's ministry pasted this message everywhere, and effectively marketed this message better than the media ministries or evangelical churches combined!

So how do we fix this? The Methodist's seem to be trying to redefine church itself. Their advertising campaign "Re-Think Church" (can't remember that one, huh?) was more interested in social justice, in a vain attempt to appear relevant.

We are always trying to reinvent the wheel to make sure that we are current with the times. Change is good, but it must be followed by God. We must make sure that we are following what we feel Christ is telling us to do and where to go. Harold Camping and his followers would tell you the same thing, they felt this is what Christ was telling them, but I am just guessing some of Camping's Bible pages got stuck together and skipped over The Gospel according to Matthew.

Youth ministers, I want to challenge myself and you to change the culture of how we do ministry. Not to seem more relevant, but to seem more like Christ. We can preach and teach, but we must speak, walk and live the life Christ has called us to be!

Share your comments below about maybe some things you are thinking about changing in your ministry or directions you feel Christ is leading you. Maybe leave a prayer request as you feel that you are taking a leap of faith in your ministry!

the escalator...

2011-05-12T06:42:00.000-07:00

I remember going to the mall when I was little. The first stop would always be KB Toys. I would run rampant in the store, saying I want this, taking that off the shelf, playing with those toys. I would be the kid screaming up and down the aisle always saying I want this, this, those, 3 of those, that one, and this one please! (always have to throw a please in the end to make sure the parental unit knows I am nice enough to ask politely). However, when going to the mall, I had so much that stimulated me as a child, I always looked forward to one thing....the escalator. I thought this was the coolest invention ever made. AUTOMATIC STAIRS! I would ride them up or down and I would ALWAYS jump off before I got sucked down into the black abyss below the stairs, or so my brothers told me.

The escalator is such a coll invention and I still enjoy riding them today. I don't ride them, however, with half as much imagination as I did when I was a kid. To be honest, I still don't know what is under those stairs. Yet, when I was a kid, I always thought going up the escalator was the best way to reach the top. It was easy, required little effort, and once I got there, I was on the top floor and NEVER going down.

Youth ministers, it is time to be called out. We have the SAME thought process a few times in our careers. Much like any other career, we always want to move up, be bigger, be better, do more, bigger budgets, more students, more lives over to Christ, bigger events, bigger bands, bigger retreats. We ALWAYS want to go UP and we will always take the easy route to do it. We are on the youth ministry escalator.

I have only been in youth ministry for 5 years. I am what you would call a "newb"; for those that understand gamer lingo. I don't know everything in youth ministry, but I used to always find the easiest way to do my job that would require the least amount of effort; thus, I would be do little work with maximizing my product. See, it doesn't quite work that way. We get what we put into it. My journey in youth ministry, following Christ first (of course not all the time because I am not perfect), is NEVER the escalator, it is the broken down escalator. I have to take the stairs.

When I am "climbing" in my career, it is going to take effort. Now, we all know, as youth ministers we "borrow" from other youth groups, and we also know that if we borrow it, it has been borrowed twice already. Youth ministry was laid out for us by people that dedicated HARD WORK AND EFFORT but also a STRONG FAITH IN CHRIST.

There is never an easy way in youth ministry. The escalator does break down from time to time. The best thing is, they can only become stairs. You will reach your goals, it will take HUGE FAITH and EFFORT to get there.

I also want to touch on one more thing. Sometimes, moving to the bigger and better looking churches is not always the best. Money does not speak in my world. We need to see where we feel God is leading us. KB Toys was ALWAYS on the second floor. MY prizes was at the top. Christ desire for us is to listen to Him and follow Him. Our gifts that He has given us are needed where HE NEEDS US, not always where we want to go.

My pastor said these words to me that ring true right now, "I don't care if I make a lateral move, a move that pays more or pays less. My wife and I want to go where we feel God needs my strength and we put that in His hands. God ALWAYS finds a way to provide." The cool part is, when we put it in God's hands, we can see that He will provide.

I want to encourage those that are looking for jobs, keep looking but pray first. Remember, each church comes with pressure and problems, even though it looks great in the packaging, but also follow what you feel Christ is telling you to go. Only you can lie to yourself.

What struggles do you go through when looking for jobs? What are some things that you look for when you are applying for a youth minister position? When you get discouraged so much at your current position, do we just check the YS Job Bank and see what is available? Write your comments or suggestions below! You never know who could need your advice or who can give you advice!

style...

2011-05-10T06:10:00.000-07:00

I went to the National Youth Workers Convention in Atlanta back in 2009. This was my first NYWC experience. I was amazed at ALL the things that were dedicated to youth ministry. I was a kid at a candy store. I filled up my "swag bag" pretty quickly. Each day I would take ANYTHING that was free. I would sample this, sign up for that, get that t-shirt, play this game! I was like a middle school student at their first youth event!

At the big sessions, I looked around and I saw how people looked. I am a people watcher, so I like to look at surrounding people see how the interact, what they wear etc. Perry Noble came on stage and said something that I thought was the most astute proclamation of all time. He said, "We must be at a youth minister convention, LOOK AT ALL THIS FACIAL HAIR!" HE was right! Everyone had some kind of facial hair or shaved head. It was REALLY funny. I'll be honest, I don't remember right now what he talked about, but I was just taken back at the fact that there were over 3000 youth ministers in this one room ready to hear and receive encouragement.

We had some break out sessions, during the convention. You were able to take any class that you wanted about any subject. During this time, I was hoping to find the magic recipe to help my youth ministry grow spiritually and numerically. I suddenly got the feeling that a lot of other people were there for the same thing. When I look back, I would sometimes stretch things to make myself look better in front of other youth ministers. I wanted people to ask ME for help and advice. I wanted to be part of the convention, but as a speaker. I knew I had style. I knew I had the facial hair. I thought I knew it all!

I look back during that time in 2009, and it was a REALLY hard year for me. My parents were divorcing after 33 years of marriage, I was about to propose to my now wife. I was going through a lot of emotions and I was trying to seek all these different avenues for help and to fill me up. Nothing worked.

On the outside, I was complete. I looked good, I was doing well at my job (or so I made it appear) I was doing so many things that LOOKED good. On the inside, I felt a void. I felt black and blank. I was hurting, but I could not share my hurt or show that I was vulnerable. I was seeking outside influence to help save me on the inside. Then, I read the story of Moses. I read about the Israelite's and their journey they took. I looked at them, and I saw a lot of myself. They kept messing up over and over, only to come back to God and ask for forgiveness then do the same thing over and over again. It was a vicious empty cycle that had no end. I was on the same path!

I want to encourage youth ministers here. You see, we ALL need help. Here are some things that are nothing new, but simple enough to help you and encourage you to be the same on the inside as on the outside:
1. ALWAYS DO DEVOTION/QUIET TIME! Always try to take time to sit and talk with God, pray to Him, read His word, journal your thoughts, and try to listen for Him speaking to you. Lift up others around you, but also lift up yourself and your struggles to Him!

2. FIND A MENTOR! A mentor is somebody who has the battle scars, who has been in youth ministry, who has run the race and has been through the good and bad times. They can help you with one thing us young youth minister hot shots think we have, wisdom.

3. DON'T STRETCH THE TRUTH! We all know we shouldn't lie. It happens and people do, especially us, when it comes to youth ministry. We want to show we are averaging great numbers, souls are getting saved LEFT AND RIGHT, and you have to create and overflow room just for the extra people that come in. Don't do it. Be honest with yourself and trust that God is going to be there when 2 or 200 show up. Don't be discouraged by numbers. If you show that you are disappointed in low numbers, you may miss a great opportunity for the students that dedicated their time to show up. Remember, no youth means no job!

These are just simple things that can help encourage you along the way. There is no secret formula for youth ministry (if there was, would I be spilling out all this wisdom for free?). We must follow Christ and try to discern what He wants.

Have you ever tried to stretch the truth about your ministry to make yourself/ your youth group/church look better? What are you going through now that someone else may have gone through and can help you and encourage you through it? Leave some comments below and share some personal thoughts. You never know, someone else reading this blog may be able to help you or vice versa.

jumping the gun...

2011-05-10T05:48:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was little. We had field day at our school. We did it a lot like the Olympics (on a much cheaper and smaller scale of course). Each class at the school represented a different country or nation. The first one that I can remember, my class was supposed to be Barcelona. We wore purple shirts and they had the Olympic rings on them with our schools name. I was so proud to wear this shirt and participate in field day.

When I found out we would be doing field day, I begged my mom for some new shoes so that I could run faster in the relay race. So we went and got new shoes. I felt like a million bucks and the fastest runner in my class. In our daily P.E. classes, we would have races and I would always think I would win. The night before our field day, I couldn't sleep because I was so excited!

Field day was finally here. I was participating in the tug of war, baton relay and potato sack race. I was SO READY! It came time for our tug of war, my class lost. Potato sack race....win! Finally, the relay race. It came time for me to START THE RACE. I had my new shoes on. I was convinced I could run faster. Right before the said go, I started running! I was winning. Everyone was screaming my name! I was so excited! I handed the baton off to the next runner and I was cheering and clapping! I thought I was helping our team win! Yet, when I finally turned around, everyone else was still standing at the starting line and my teacher was coming after me. She took me aside and said I was disqualified because I couldn't follow the directions.

I was thinking about this story this morning. Not because I got new shoes and not because I am really excited about one certain event, I was thinking about it this morning because I wonder in my own life and in the lives of other youth pastors, are we really following directions?

Youth ministry is not just a color by number type of job. We are called to follow many directions i.e. rules of the church, rules of the senior pastor, job description, and of course the most important direction is our divine rules.

We should get encouragement from our daily devotion time and prayer time with God. Also, we should be listening to the voice of God and waiting for His divine instructions for us. I will be honest, I want to jump the gun. I want to do so many things that I think WILL WORK! Yet, if I sit back and look at what I want to do and where I feel Christ wants me to take this group, my vision does not always line up. I am at a point where I have to have patience. I have to not only talk to God, but listen for Him to talk back to me.

If you are a youth minister, what are some ways that you may have jumped the gun and it didn't work? What are some things you are excited about that are going on in your ministry?
Share and leave comments below! Let's be encouraging to one another to not only listen to others advice, but sit back and listen to the still quiet, but loud and powerful voice of God. What are some techniques you use or do that you can share to help encourage others to listen to Christ?

experimental youth ministry...

2011-05-03T07:20:00.000-07:00

I was going through some old books the other day and I found a book that I was SOLD on from the moment I took the class at NYWC in 2009. It is called Shaped By The Story by Michael Novelli.

To me, this book and teaching method was so new. It is pretty simple when you think about it. The book tells us that story telling is the way the Bible was passed down from generation to generation for a while. This is also the way family history is passed down and many other ways of information is passed through story telling. Novelli took this archaic approach and trended it towards the Bible today. The book and the website have lots and lots of stories from the Bible to teach to your students. It is the belief of the author and those that read the book that it will help connect your students more to the Bible.

Most students can't tell a Bible story in its fullness. Most of the time, they can hit the highlights. It's like a picture book. However, if we tell the story of the Bible to the students, in story form, they may remember more details and thus will be able to connect their story with God's story; which I believe was the ultimate goal of the book.

I look back at this book and I see a time that I was so excited because I thought this was going to be the next great teaching method in youth ministry. I tried it and had some positive results. Looking back on my years (as few as they may be) in ministry, I see that the trend of youth pastors is to find the next great way of bringing students in, connecting them with God, making the best disciples of Christ, and changing the whole community you live in! When you find it, please let me know.

There are so many ideas and "experimental" ways to do youth ministry. We need to expand our knowledge of how to teach. This is why NYWC is such an awesome thing for youth ministers. It helps connect us with new resources and it also revitalizes us, if we are down in the ministry dumps and slumps during that time.

I encourage you to keep refreshing yourself with different teaching methods and ways, but also keep to what you know. Don't do something so drastic that it will change your whole way of thinking and the ministry foundation you have laid. Here are some simple ways to help incorporate new teaching methods into your group:
1. Pray about it and talk about it with your senior pastor. ALWAYS remember that you are not your own church! Make sure this lines up with the vision of the church that has been set by the senior pastor. After that, pray about it and hone in your skills.
2. PRACTICE! I can't start telling the stories of the Bible from this book unless I know them first. If I went and did it unprepared, I would be in a hot mess of trouble.
3. TEACH YOUR LEADERS! Before bringing it to the students, sell the parents and leaders in your group on it first. Help them understand the thought that God placed on your heart, and why you feel it would be the right direction. THEN LISTEN TO THEM! Don't make it your way or the highway, because soon enough you will be on the highway in a UHAUL looking for a new job!
4. TRUST THAT THIS IS OF GOD! New methods of teaching are ALWAYS scary! You are not sure if you will be hitting a home run or striking out. Have faith and give it time that God will provide and grow disciples through the new teaching method (whatever that may be).

I tried this to some success. What are some other experimental ways of teaching you have done or are thinking about doing? Post your thoughts below!

living under a rock...

2011-05-02T07:35:00.000-07:00

This past weekend has been hyped by A LOT of news! If you were one of the fanatic few (23.8 MILLION) that woke up at 4:00 A.M. on Friday to watch the "Royal Wedding", you were able to see the real life, once in a life time, fairy tale come true! It was a beautiful wedding ceremony that almost half of the world watched. Talk about pressure. This, of course, left the news reals BUZZING for the weekend.

Then, if you are like me and watch "Celebrity Apprentice, you saw the HUGE announcement last night. At first, it was secret. The bottom of the screen read, "Please be prepared for an important message from President Obama regarding an undisclosed topic." Then, right before we find out who was fired on Celebrity Apprentice, we see the news pop up. I told my wife that it has to do with two things: 1. We are about to open war up on Libya or 2. We have captured or killed Osama Bin Laden. (I, of course, was right.)

Unless you have been living under a rock, you have PROBABLY heard the news that Osama Bin Laden was killed. Soon after the announcement, you could flip over to ESPN for Sunday Night Baseball to hear Mets and Phillies fans chanting USA. People outside the White House were singing the national anthem. The main idea was that this truly was a win for the United States. Bin Laden got what was coming to him. You reap what you sew. Karma is a b...well you get the idea.

However, I sat up, watching the news last night, and was thinking to myself, "Sure this is great, but what next?" As I was in and out of sleep, I began to toss and turn over the images and thoughts that were raging through my head. How can we be celebrating the death of someone? Why is everyone so happy? And here is where my controversy will start: I started thinking to myself, that Osama Bin Laden was a great leader!

I will let the anger settle. Done yet? Let me continue on with my RADICAL thought process; You see, I am not here to spark debate about war, politics or anything of the sort. I am simply asking the question, a man as radical and extreme as Osama Bin Laden was, why can't we lead like him? OF COURSE he was leading for the wrong reasons. He helped orchestrate the killing of thousands of innocent victims. He was the worlds most wanted man. However, when I woke up and looked on twitter, a friend of mine posted THIS VERSE: I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways & live. Ez 33:11

Why are we taking pleasure in his death? IF we look back at our own Jesus Christ, the man who we worship as Lord of ALL CREATION, we see that He was just as radical. Jesus taught against Jewish law. Jesus went against the grain of society and tradition to help get his point across. And with this logic, He was an extremist who recruited people for a cause that changed the world.

Now, Osama was a person who recruited people for a cause to help change the world through violence and killing. Jesus never even spoke of such. In John 13, we see that Christ tells us to love one another, just as He loves us.

Let me be clear, as soon as I found out 9/11 was a terrorist attack and we started pointing the finger at Bin Laden, I was the leader of the pack to blame him and curse him for his heinous actions. I said my share of cuss words, I prayed for his death, I was angry God would let something like this happen!

Through my years in ministry, and I am sure most youth minister can relate to this, I have struggled to bring students into the youth group. For one reason or another, we have to raise up more servant leaders each time and we have to keep the spiritual health of the group as a healthy and mature pace, but also try to help grow the group numerically. Jesus grew His group by 12 and now 2.3 billion people on earth are claiming to be Christ followers.

As much as I am happy with Osama Bin Laden's death, for those who needed some retribution for 9/11, I am also sad at the same time. I am sad that people are so desperate to believe in something greater than themselves that people will go to ANY lengths to reach them. You see, leadership wise, Osama Bin Laden was a great leader. He rallied his troops. He grew them numerically. He got them to believe in his cause.

Jesus is CRYING OUT for us to do the same, as ministers and followers of Him. I am sad because to my knowledge, Bin Laden was NOT a Christian. He may have eternal separation from Christ. On a world stage, it is harder to make believers of Christ, but the way I help grow my ministry is by loving those who need to be loved. I try to stray my judgement from them and pray to let me see what God sees in them. I see full potential in everyone to do GREAT things for Christ and this broken, hurting, and sin filled world.

I am never perfect. Jesus was and is the only perfect person to walk this earth. Osama Bin Laden was DEFINITELY NOT perfect. However, how are we going to look at this "victory" today? Are we going to sit and gloat at the Islamic world and just assume they are ALL going to hell? Or are we going to do as Christ commanded us to do. I choose to follow the great commission. I am called to make believers of Christ and Fishers of Men. As a youth minister, I can learn and grow from this experience.

**Again, this was a post to help find where God is in this whole situation. I do not have all the answers. However, this is not some Christian front I am putting on to get followers on twitter, people to read my blog, and a book deal down the road. I am looking to help equip ministers from all areas to look inside their heart and to find what Christ would want us to do. Now, more than ever, we can see that Christ is needing us to make Kingdom followers. Instead of bashing and hating the world, love the world for what Christ see's in it, not what we want to see and hear.

Put your comments below and let me know your thoughts...

what is the gospel...

2011-04-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

I was on twitter and I saw Bryan C. Bailey tweet this video. I am always a person who tries to think in the abstract (obviously because I own a macbook pro, iPad, and an iPhone). When I see this, I am seeing something that is artistic. I am hearing something that is spiritual. I can imagine the creator hearing this and loving what He is hearing. What an awesome video. Here it is:
What is the Gospel?

i am...

2011-04-25T06:30:00.000-07:00

In trying to keep current with the times, I often find myself buying books that are the hot topic, reading blogs that everyone reads, and even trying to be the aspiring writer myself by writing these strange topics that come into my head. Better than that, I am always trying to keep current with youth ministry so I will buy the newest and coolest things to keep my youth entertained and to make my job just a LITTLE bit easier.

Horrible intro, I know! However, I did want to share a resource that I am finding AWFULLY AWESOME in the way that it is helping me view my own spiritual life and my ministry as a youth minister, husband, son, brother, cousin, uncle, nephew...you get the picture.

I am currently reading a book by Brennan Manning called, "the furious longing of God". First off, Brennan is someone I have a high respect for. Many years ago, maybe 4, I read his book called the "Ragamuffin Gospel". I was not sure how to read this book. Manning has a tendency to use big words and I am too lazy to look them up. However, reading this book, it has really transformed something in my heart.

At the beginning, Manning mentions about the story of God and how there are different parts to us, but it is not the whole story. I typed this out and placed it on my wall in my office, as a reminder of who i am. Here is what it says:

I am Mark. I am a liar.
How I got there, why I left there, why I went back is the story of my life.
But it is not the whole story.

I am Mark. I am a Methodist.
How I got there, why I left there, why I went back is the story of my life.
But it is not the whole story.

I am Mark. I am a youth pastor.
How I got there, why I left there, why I went back is the story of my life.
But it is not the whole story.

I am Mark. I am a thief.
How I got there, why I left there, why I went back is the story of my life.
But it is not the whole story.

How I got to those places, why I left those places, is the story of my life too.
But it is not the whole story.
I am mark. I'm a sinner, saved by grace. That is the larger and more important story.
Only God, in His fury, knows the whole of it.

At the bottom, I signed my name.

It is a very humbling experience to look at ourselves from another prespective. We all have our own stories as to how we came to know Christ. However, that is not the whole story. Only God, in His love, knows the whole of it.

I suggest taking a look at this book or even purchase it. After that, take it to a used book store or pass it on so that someone else may experience some of the same thrills in the spiritual walk I am finding out right now. Manning is really challenging in his book about finding where God is in your story and making THAT who you are.

What other resources/ books/ etc are out there that might be helpful to other youth ministers who may read this blog?

whats the big deal...

2011-04-25T06:19:00.000-07:00

So many times in youth ministry, I and many other youth pastors have used the phrase "What's the big deal?" Youth ministry is the fun ministry in the church. We get to hang around students all the time that look up to us, they are down for pretty much anything, and we can always laugh and joke with them. I am wondering this morning, though, what's the big deal?

Looking back in my few years in the ministry I can't even imagine how may times I have said this. It can be in relation to almost ANYTHING! This blog post is to help those, who need to find a barrier between ministry, spiritual life, and normal life.

Sometimes as youth ministers, we can get so involved in the lives of our students, that our students become our friends. They are the ones we lean on for guidance and questions that we may have about things, in hopes that they do the same for us. Do not get me wrong, relational ministry is a timeless practice in the church that is proven, but we need to draw a line. When I was single and in youth ministry, I would make all the time in the world for students. I would often just go somewhere at the drop of a hat and hang out with them. This is good ministry, but there is also a very flawed portion of this thinking. When are you going to worry about yourself?

So many times we can look into the life of a youth minister and see a longing for being with the students. To just be around them, because this is where we thrive the most! Yet, for those that are married or about to be, or for those who have children and are already married, when do you make time for them? On top of that, when do we make time for God?

We can't mistake that developing lessons is our time with God. NOT EVEN CLOSE! Time with God is a sacred and spiritual moment in time. We need to find a time where we can pray and read book, journal, read scripture or just sit and listen to music. However you find a closeness and oneness with God, outside hanging with students, then do it!

We just came off the Lenten season and Easter, yesterday. We celebrated the resurrection of Jesus. I was on facebook yesterday afternoon and twitter at the same time. From the morning to that time in the afternoon, I counted 154 facebook posts about Jesus NOT being in the cave. Twitter, I counted 1,233 tweets about Jesus being risen and it being Easter. That is a lot. But I want us to think a little outside the box. Try not to make Easter a once a year tradition. The Jesus we went to pay our respects to yesterday was NOT there but HE IS ALWAYS THERE. The resurrection was not something God meant for us to celebrate once, it was supposed to be an explosion of love that changes the world. Yet, we box it in.

Try to celebrate the resurrection EVERYDAY! See what happens!

daddy...

2011-04-23T08:13:00.000-07:00

I was told by my father many years ago that he swore my first words were the profain version of crap. He says that we were in the car, someone cut him off and he screamed...this word. Soon after, he swears I said the same thing. I was a baby. I do not know if this is true or not. What I do know is that when my father was around, I looked at him in awe. I love(d) my father very much. Today, I am reflecting on Jesus and God's relationship. There was a time where God abandoned Jesus. A time where sin had free reign over the world.

It's the time of Easter and a lot of people are reflecting on the death and resurrection f Jesus. As I read through Luke's Gospel, we see that there was a time where Jesus felt that His Abba had abandoned Him. "Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabachthani" Jesus screamed from the wood he was nailed to. My God, Daddy, why have you abandoned me? This is so hard to read. Even God had abandoned Jesus for the short time.

There is a theologian out there who would disagree. He believes that God was speaking to Jesus this whole time. And for this, we look back to Song of Songs 2:10-14, which states, "

Song of Solomon 2:10-14 (New Living Translation)

¹⁰ My lover said to me,
“Rise up, my darling!
Come away with me, my fair one!
¹¹ Look, the winter is past,
and the rains are over and gone.
¹² The flowers are springing up,
the season of singing birds^[a] has come,
and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.
¹³ The fig trees are forming young fruit,
and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming.
Rise up, my darling!
Come away with me, my fair one!”

¹⁴ My dove is hiding behind the rocks,

behind an outcrop on the cliff.

Let me see your face;
let me hear your voice.
For your voice is pleasant,
and your face is lovely.

God was welcoming Christ into heaven. He was telling Him that is was Okay. He had not left Him. There are many times in our youth ministry, our normal lives, that we will also cry Eloi Eloi, Lama Sabachthani! Christ has never left us. Christ will never abandon us.

Try this with me. Turn your palms upward and pray these seven sylobols, "Abba, I belong to you." Breathe in and say Abba. Breathe out and say I belong to you. This goes in perfect repetition with your breathing. God has been showing me many things over this past week. I have a renewed spirit. I have a spirit that God is transforming into something great. I am clinging to these words from Song of Songs 7:10 that says, "I am my beloved. His desire is for me." These words have never been more true for me and you.

Reflecting on Easter, let's look to the cross, hear the words Jesus spoke to Abba, and let's cry out to our Abba that we are his and his desire is for us.

invite me in...

2011-04-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

Easter is the weekend. We all know this. This is the time that your church seats are going to be full. It will be full of people, some that have not been to church in a long time. What are we going to do to these people? Are we going to ignore them? tell them we love them? Make them feel like they are the only people in the world that matter? Are we going to snarl at them because they are in our usual seats?

Take the time to watch this video and think about the love of Christ that He freely gives us. Share that love. Invite them in.

Easter - Invite Me In

Sermonspice.com

See Details Buy Now

follow...

2011-04-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

breaking tradition...

2011-04-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

How many youth ministers deal with this; coming into a church and having to deal with traditions of the church and youth minister that was there before you? I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I just came into a new church about 6 months ago, and I have loved every minute. Sometimes you can come into a well oiled machine and it work out fine. Other times, you can sit down and put your hands on your head and cry because you can't break the walls down and you don't want to.

In my experience in youth ministry, and being a former active youth participant, I can see how tradition is a good thing. It can be good for a few reasons:
1. Traditions help carry us over and lead students to attend and keep a steady number coming through the doors of the church.
2. It helps youth ministers because they plan less. All you have to do is plug in and play.

These are only a few ways that being a traditional youth ministry is good. However, I see a lot of issues that come with being a traditional youth ministry.

As many youth pastors know, when you come in and you start you want to leave your mark on the ministry. I did this at a previous church. I scrapped all I knew that was the youth ministry and told people that I had to build this group from the ground up. I also told people that I was the one that was going to be changing things for the better, I was going to things that this group had never seen before. Do you see what is wrong with these statements? There is I too many times in these statements. I have said some of these same statements at my new church as well.

God has humbled me. Sometimes, it is my experience that we need to let go of ourselves and let God be the head of our ministries. God will break down walls, He did at Jericho. God will bring new traditions. We need to have a crock pot state of mind. Put things in the pot to make it good, give it some time, and soon enough it will be ready to eat and it will taste good.

That is my blueprint. I am about to start summer programming. I am going to work on relational ministry this summer. I am REALLY going to work on my relationship with God and I am asking Him to do things to this youth ministry AND MY CHURCH that we could never have imagined. Things will fall into place and soon enough, it will taste so good.

What are some traditions that you struggle with in your youth ministry? Are you struggling to rip out the trees and plant new ones? What lessons have you learned from breaking certain traditions that meant so much to the youth ministry?

Just remember this, even though we go through struggles after the honeymoon, God is still in control....if you let Him. He went through the same things we did, suffered first, and died for us to help us live new life. The new life will also come with our crock pot thinking.

hearing...

2011-04-15T04:32:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of friends in youth ministry. My best friend, Eric Hendrickson, is my mentor in youth ministry. He is my go to guy, when it comes to questions or problems in my ministry. There are other friends I go to and call, but Eric is my guy! He has been in ministry for almost 15 years and he has experienced a lot. Yet, I can remember a time when I was so full of myself that I would ask him things, just to see what he would say, and do the exact opposite.

In youth ministry, we tend to hear what we want to hear. We can do the same with the Gospel. We say what we want it to say. I can easily manipulate the Gospel, stories of my life, and anything else, to get across my message. I hear what I want to hear.

How many times have you thought to yourself, after coming from a meeting with the senior pastor, "I could do his job. If only I were in his position, this church would be booming!"? I have said this a few times in my short career in youth ministry. When we come away from meetings like this, we are either being chewed out because the giant hole in the wall form the lock in, we said something to tick off a parent who brings in a lot of money, or we just didn't do our best at something. We get callous towards criticism or help, and we think that we ALWAYS know better.

I can claim I still think some of these things. I think that I am good at what I do. The reason I think this is because I have been trained to do so, but more importantly, I am blessed by God with great gifts and talents to help a youth ministry flourish. God places people in our lives, who have helped pave the way to where I am today. Eric has been through a lot of hell in his life to be at the amazing church he is in now. I have been through certain parts of hell as well.

I would only hear what I wanted to hear. That means that I would even shut out God and pretend that I was listening. We can all say that we are not the best listeners. Parents come to us and make suggestions, but they don't run a youth ministry, they don't know! The pastor makes a suggestion to help you grow your youth ministry, but he taught Fred Flinstone and Moses, his/her ways are old and archaic.

I want to encourage youth ministers to do three things:
1. ALWAYS LISTEN TO GOD! Seek God first. His ways are NEVER archaic. We need to CONSTANTLY stay HUNGRY for God to talk to us. He can speak to us through a concerned or ticked off parent, a senior pastor who is older than dust, or a friend who has been in youth ministry for a while and is battled tested and rested and ready.

2. Find a person to help you. Eric was my youth pastor. He kind of gave me the nudge towards youth ministry, and I thought he was NUTS! Now I talk to Eric at least 10 times a day about plans, questions and the crazy part is he values my opinion and will even ask ME questions. (Don't worry though, I don't have a big ego, but I can't control the size of my huge head.) Find a person in youth ministry who will hold you accountable. Eric asks me tough questions to keep me on my toes and he encourages me towards scripture.

3. BE OPEN! We MUST be open to criticism, complaints and yes even compliments. We have to be ready to not just hear people, but to listen to them. Listen loudly and only speak when it is your turn! I have learned to listen and man do my ears hear it! At my last church, I did what I wanted to and I went through a lot of hell that I brought on myself. I did not listen to God, Eric, or even my senior pastor. I listened to him when it mattered most and I was so beat up that I had nothing else to do.

Do you like to hear the sound of your own voice? Do you think...better yet, do you KNOW what is best for the church and youth ministry you work for? Do you wish you could run the church like you do the youth ministry because your group is constantly growing?

If you answered yes to ANY of these questions, it is time to step back. Clean out your ears and find a place and time to listen to someone with experience, your senior pastor, and JESUS MOST IMPORTANTLY! I still like to hear my own voice, but I have relinquished control to Jesus in my ministry. Sometimes I want to grab the reigns and drive, but I might drive it off a cliff with my huge ideas. I am nothing new to youth ministry, but I am unique in the ministry God has blessed me with. I will listen to those who have paved the way, I will listen to my pastor and even ticked off parents, but most of all I will listen to God. His ways are never old and never stop!

I want to encourage those who read this blog to try to hand over the reigns. Give the students in your ministry some leadership and control. Pray for the students. Find adults who want to invest in the lives of the students and pray for them. Develop and disciple students and adults alike in the group. Before all of this, listen to God and give Him ULTIMATE control. I have driven a ministry off a cliff before because I thought I knew what I was doing. I am only in ministry 5 years, but I know I still have A TON OF STUFF to learn. God will bless you when you listen to Him.

Do you struggle with listening to God or others? What are some struggles you have now that maybe someone else who reads this blog can help with? Comment below so we can foster a helping and loving community of youth ministers.

ego driven...

2011-04-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I came home to my wife (after my two hour drive) and I asked her where the mail was. She showed me the mail, and I had a letter in the mail from the "Cambridge Who's Who of America" company. I have heard of these things before, and I was pretty excited about the possibility of being chosen for this. Of course, I did no research on the company because I thought it was legitimate. I had a friend who graduated with a "Who's Who" honor from college. This is what peeked my interest.

I opened up the letter, read the information. I went onto the website, and filled out some online form. (AT THIS POINT THERE WAS NO MONEY EXCHANGED). I thought this was a huge honor. A way to show how I have earned an accomplishment of sorts.

This morning, Thursday April 14, I got a call from New York. I did not recognize the number, so I didn't answer. SOMEHOW this company got my work number, and was sent through to my office. I did a phone interview, and was told I was accepted. I was told I would get a plaque to hang on my wall. I was very excited. I have never been honored by anything before. Then came the drop. If I wanted to join, it would only cost me $759.00! WHAT?!?! I said no thanks I can't afford that. They lowered the price down to $99.00. I said I don't have a credit card (which was a lie) and the woman told me to find a credit card. Maybe someone would loan me the money. At this point, I said NO THANK YOU, and she said to me (verbatim), "Well you will miss out on a great opportunity and SCREW YOU!" She slammed the phone down and all I heard was a dial tone.

I did some research. These people are OBVIOUSLY scammers! How could I fall for something like this? I feel like such an idiot. Then I began thinking how I had an ego for a short amount of time. I thought I was being honored, how I could hang a plaque on my wall, I was excited to be recognized for my great work in the field of youth ministry. Then I thought, well, have I really done that much?

Sometimes our programs, as youth ministers, can be smoke and mirrors. All show and no substance. Am I really making a difference in the lives of my students. I have been in paid ministry for 5 years. I don't even know if I am out of the baby pool yet to make a big splash. However, that's not my goal. My goal is to serve God and make the best of this opportunity I have RIGHT NOW. I am not looking to write a book, be a big speaker, or become nationally recognized in the youth ministry world. At one time I wanted to. I just don't think I could handle it. My wife probably would leave me too, since I would NEVER be home!

Do any other youth ministers struggle with this? We have such big ideas and want to share them, but we aren't sure. We want to be big names and do something so great we get nothing but recognition? My recognition should come from God. I am striving to be the best I can through Him, but I fail and have a sense of vanity from time to time.

The point of this blog was to say that we can have smoke and mirror ministries all day, and leave it for nothing in the end result. We can fake ministry really easily. So, now I am curious; do any other youth pastors struggle with this?

Comment below and let's get some good discussion about this!

the dare...

2011-04-13T07:04:00.001-07:00

I am currently doing a 30 day challenge devotional book, by Josh Mayo, called "The Dare". This book is REALLY kicking me in my gut, side, and knocking me around in my head. It is a challenge that is trying to break the chains and bondage that we currently have, that tie us down and bring us away from God.

Josh Mayo is a youth pastor out in Arkansas. He says, in his author bio, that he has over 100 students coming ON AVERAGE to his youth group each week. Now in Doug Fields' book, "My First Two Years in Youth Ministry" he tells us not to play the numbers game. Am I the only one that has a hard time with this. You see NUMERICAL SUCCESS in other youth groups and you wonder, what is it about mine that is not working?

I have thought about this a lot. Youth pastors try to compare and share youth ministries. Some churches have over 500 students come. Some have 5 students come. When we focus on things like this, we miss out on the relationships with the students that are THERE NOW!

It took Jesus 3 years to disciple 12 men that changed the world. Why do we want a microwave youth ministry? Why do we want everything now?

In recent months, I have learned to be patient. Being at a new church, I have to have time to develop the plan God has for this group, while also aligning the vision of the youth group to that of the church. We must all remember that youth ministries are NOT their own church. We are a branch of the "Big Church".

I am trying to find a balance that helps this ministry grow. Right now, I am not super focused on the numbers. One week we can have 50 and one week we have 23. We MUST find a balance to reach these students relationally and be where they are. Here are some ideas:

1. Eat lunch with the students at their school! I personally have not done this yet, but it develops a good bond with the students and also with the school. You never know when the students will call you from school because they need something. It also develops good relationships with the school.

2. Go to their games! Find out schedules and obviously you can't be everywhere because we have families and lives as well. Find adults that are willing to invest in the students and send them to games. It will mean more to them than you know.

3. You MUST have a good adult leadership team. This is my biggest struggle. The one thing I see missing is adult leadership and volunteers. I have college students that invest their time, and one intern I pay pennies to be here, but we must find adults who love students. This is what helps grow ministries numerically.

4. PRAY! Throw the hail mary every week and say to God that this is it! You, the youth pastor, may be the only way a student hears "The Good News". BRING IT EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM!

These are steps I am taking. I am doing "The Dare" and I HIGHLY reccommend you read this and take the challenge as well. These points are nothing new, just helps me in ways and hoping I can help others that may be struggling with the same challenges.

What are some things you may be struggling with in your youth ministry?

children's coke chug challenge...

2011-04-13T06:53:00.000-07:00

GAME IDEA

We played this game during our MYF program Sunday night. It is an easy game, and always fun that gets the crowd excited.

Supplies

3 Baby Bottles
Coke
Baby Bibs
A table to place everything on

The Game
Get three students to come up to the front. Tell them this is NOT a gross or messy game. Tell them to sit in chairs at the table. Before you place the bottles in front of the students, place the baby bibs around their necks. (Try to find ones with funny sayings on them). After that they must put their hands behind their backs.
Place the bottles in front of them. They must chug the coke through the baby bottle.

Depending on time, you can make them chug for a minute to see who wins or until they are finished.

Prizes
For prizes, we gave each participant something that related to babies. For third place, we gave little booties. For second place, we gave some baby food. for first place we gave them a baby easter basket (because of this time of year).

Make it your own and make it fun! It is a great way for students to cheer, laugh and be made fun of for a good upfront game!

Hope this encourages you in your ministry!

bath time...

2011-04-13T06:41:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been praying that God reveal some great things to me. It doesn't matter what it is, but it has to be something so astounding it will consume my thoughts. Oddly enough, I prayed this while I was taking a shower, it was raining outside, my dog spilled his water bowl on the floor that morning...do you see a theme here?

God has really placed on my heart about baptism. Lately, I have been just thinking about my own baptism. I have been "technically" baptized twice. Once as a confirmand in the Methodist church, before I really knew or understood what I was doing. The second was when I was 18. I had JUST become a new believer, and I felt I needed to be dunked! So, my girlfriend at the time took me to her Baptist church and down I went! What a rush! I came out of the warm water and people were clapping and cheering for me. It was a nice feeling.

Now I am looking back and I can see the importance of baptism. Not only that, I have also seen the huge struggle for youth pastors and students in baptism. It is also more difficult because we see students go off to college and FALL OFF THE RADAR OF CHURCH within the first few months!

Baptism is special. Baptism is a showing of your faith to other believers and to also be in a fellowship with Christ. For so long, I have strived for students to be in a relationship with Christ. I don't talk that way. We are called to be in a fellowship with Christ. We show a step of our faith by being baptized.

All this was fired up because of a video I saw where a woman was a non believer and took the step to be baptized. What a feeling! I had my feelings come right back to me.

How many youth pastors out there are really struggling or succeeding in baptism in their own student ministries? I am curious! Leave a comment below and let's start some chatter!

how to destroy a youth ministry...

2011-03-15T16:01:00.000-07:00

So here we are. The Christian world has had a lot to focus on in the past couple of weeks and months. Recently, the earthquake in Japan has made the Rob Bell controversy seem stagnant. Well now the cat is out of the bag: Rob Bell is a universalist.

Bell's new book is now on the shelves and digital book shelves of all the iPad's and Kindles alike. People in the Christian world have been waiting for this day to come for months. During the time building up, this blogger, among many others have been speculating about what Bell is going to say, what his true beliefs are and if Bell is a hardcore Universalist or not.

After reading portions of Rob Bell's book, watching the interview, and interpreting things in the way I believe they were said: It is my assumption that Rob Bell is a universalist. This is a complete danger to youth ministries and churches alike. We as Christians need to investigate what other types of beliefs are out there in the world. It can only strengthen our relationship with Christ. However, Rob Bell can be the ultimate destruction of youth ministry as we know it.

In today's youth groups, statistics and studies show that students are now seeking ways to live how they want to and still get into heaven. People are planting the seed that we see hell on earth and that through these "occurrences" on earth, we see that Hell is not a real or tangible place. Students are not really sure if heaven is a real place either. Students are now searching for an answer to things quickly, and they look at hipster type churches and pastors like Rob Bell who really help people conceive the idea that heaven is where everyone goes. The one question that Rob Bell believes he has answered in his new book "Love Wins" is simply, "Does a loving God REALLY send people to hell?" Here is what Bell had to say about these things in his book:

How he asks the question is just as important as the question itself. "Has God created billions of people over thousands of years only to select a few to go to heaven and everyone else to suffer forever in hell? Is this acceptable to God? How is this `good news'?" They say that the person who frames the debate is going to win the debate. That is especially true when the debate is framed in this way, through these particular questions. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. No offense, and no pun intended.

Bell begins the book with surprising forthrightness: Jesus' story has been hijacked by a number of different stories that Jesus has no interest in telling. "The plot has been lost, and it's time to reclaim it." (Preface, vi)

"A staggering number of people have been taught that a select few Christians will spend forever in a peaceful, joyous place called heaven, while the rest of humanity spends forever in torment and punishment in hell with no chance for anything better.... This is misguided and toxic and ultimately subverts the contagious spread of Jesus' message of love, peace, forgiveness, and joy that our world desperately needs to hear."

You may want to read that again.

It really says that. And it really means what you think it means. Though it takes time for that to become clear.

Bell frames much of the book around time and place, around what the Bible means when it speaks of the when and where of heaven and hell. He points to Revelation 21, citing that the heavenly city, the New Jerusalem, is coming down to the new earth. He also affirms that heaven is a real place where God's will alone is done and that at present, heaven and earth are not yet one (pp. 42-43). These are points that few Christians could seriously question.

His argument progresses to this: Because heaven will eventually come to earth, if we're to take heaven seriously, we must take the suffering that exists in the world seriously now. Therefore, we are called to participate "now in the life of the age to come. That's what happens when the future is dragged into the present" (p. 45). In light of this, humanity's role within creation is redefined so that we are not so much stewards as we are God's partners, "participating in the ongoing creation and joy of the world" (p. 180), and engaging in creating a new social order with Jesus (p. 77). This language of partnering and participating is frequently applied by Bell to causes of social justice.

But what about hell? Is hell a future reality or a present one? Is it an earthly reality or one that exists elsewhere?

Hell appears to be more about what we do to each other than what we've done to God. Bell reads Jesus' warnings of divine punishment as addressing only the temporal, rather than both the temporal and the eternal. These warnings were for the religious leaders of the day, and had very little to do with some other reality or some other time, he argues (pp. 82-83). Instead, hell is "a word that refers to the big, wide, terrible evil that comes from the secrets hidden deep without our hearts all the way to the massive, society-wide collapse and chaos that comes when we fail to live in God's world God's way" (p. 95). There's no fire and no wrath, at least, none that is extrinsic to us.

Does Rob Bell deny the existence of hell? He would say no. We would say yes. He affirms, but only after redefining. And that's just a clever form of denial.

Understanding what Bell truly believes and what he is truly seeking to teach can be a battle. The reader will find himself following many rabbit trails and arriving at several dead ends. It seems that where Bell's arguments begin to break down, he simply walks away instead of pursuing consistency and logic. This book could not stand the rigors of cross-examination. It has little cohesion, little internal strength.

Not only does Bell confirm this in his book, he confirms his belief system as a "universalist" in his interview he did the night before his book was released. Bell, in his hipster preacher attitude, answers questions with vague answers, story telling, and very little biblical backing. In Rob Bell's interview, he mentioned pure scripture on four different occasions, while battling the tough questions with multiple stories, referring to heaven as a party that people can bring dark clouds over, and that heaven is also not a place with gold streets and ferrari's (as clearly stated in Revelation and from Jesus speaking and teaching in my Bible that I use).

People like Rob Bell, and I am using Rob Bell as an example because he is now a face for universalism, can completely destroy a youth ministry. In a generation that is seeking answered more than ever, we are treading on thin lines between reaching students and tearing them away from the church all together.

If we as Christians are going to preach from our respective "pulpits" each week, I am NEVER (let me be clear again) NEVER going to preach the Jesus was inadequate and that there is never in reason for Him to die for our sins in the first place. According to Bell, "

We see opression. Tyranny. Dictators using their power to eliminate the opposition with bullets, guns, and fire.
We create our own hell… others of us live in the aftermath of someone else’s."

According to Bell, we create our own hell. Because of this, a loving God will simply let us into heaven because we have seen and been through hell in our lives.
Let me be clear about something. I have been through a lot of hell in my life, but Jesus was the sole reason I got out of it. I surrendered my life to the Christ that saved me from my sins. Because of this, this does not mean I will not experience "hell" again. However, in the end of my blink of an existence, God will be honored.

Students question their lives today and their lives after death. Some come to a conclusion at an early age to be a follower of Christ. Others come to no conclusion and live their lives as to how they want, and by doing good deeds from time to time, earn a way into heaven.

Readers, we have to know that Jesus is the only way into heaven. Just because Rob Bell tells us that he is not the only way into heaven, does not mean we need to listen to him. Bell is an amazing speaker. He can convey things about the Bible most people are afraid to. Bell has made a career on asking the "tough" questions. One thing I have always told my students to question their faith and to question God. It will only draw them closer to Him.

Now through this WHOLE blog, it has been a complete verbal beat down of Rob Bell and his new book "Love Wins"; however, I am simply telling people who read this blog to find out what their faith really means. By seeking what the Bible tells us, by what Jesus said and did on the cross, by prayer and supplication, we can then make an informed decision. Is there a heaven and hell? Yes and Yes. Both are tangible places with eternal results.

I have set my faith in the rock of Salvation and the Son of Man. I have set my belief that I will be in heaven, but not before I do God's will for my life here on earth. I encourage many people to buy Rob Bell's book "Love Wins". Read the book and then read the real Gospels and see what Jesus references to. Was Jesus' death all that important? I believe so.

I am in no way condemning Rob Bell for his universalist beliefs. Everyone has freedom of choice and the freedom to believe what they want. I can understand where Bell is coming from and why he would want to choose this sort of belief system. No one can understand God fully and the same God that love us, loves justice for us and on us just as much. Decide for yourselves.

HAPPY NEW YEAR...

2011-03-10T06:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the start of a lot of things for most people involved in the church. Those churches that observe the season of Lent (40 days before Easter) more than likely had an Ash Wednesday service last night. Also, through this season, we start to see people give up things. I have noticed a trend, at least in my past, about giving things up; it becomes a second new years resolution almost. People are going to give up certain things for losing weight before swim suit season, or they want to give up soda because we just consume too much of it.

Recently I was talking with my best friend and mentor, Eric Hendrickson, about maybe doing a revival of sorts to my blog. I should update my twitter name, change a few things and do something that would brand myself as "Mark Hashtag" or "Hashtag Mark" Or simply #mark. The reason we talked about this is because it could give me daily things to blog about, using the trending topics on twitter. It also works because my last name, Ashby, sounds like hashtag ( a little bit).

I thought about that conversation with Eric as I started to sit down at my desk this morning. Maybe instead of getting ready to look good in a bikini...not me of course, I can start doing things that would really be possibly helpful or insightful on current issues, or trends depending on how well you are connected into the social network lifestyle.

However, for the lent season, I have decided to limit myself to 1 hour of facebook a day. For those that know me, I am pretty much on it 24/7/365. It is BAD. I even check facebook on the road at red lights from time to time. If facebook were a drug, it would be illegal.

During this time though, I am going to devote more time to God. I really feel like I will be honoring God with this. I am not giving up fast food, chocolate or soda because I eat my weight in each. I am not going to make a better chance of working out, because we all know the only work out I get is lifting the TV remote higher to get a signal to the cable box. However, I want to commend people that are trying to make these sacrifices as they too can be vices in your daily and spiritual lives.

Right now, I am social networking with my blog. Maybe it is time for an upgrade. Maybe it is time for some branding. Maybe it is time for my second new years resolution as well. Maybe it is just my time. I can't really be sure. What I do know is that the decluttering that I am going to do in m life is to not take other pastors words as gospel. I will not be as easily influenced by those who are the current flavor of the week. I will reduce my time to a simple Gospel that ranges to people with PHD's and people who have hardly any education.

Reading a devotional this morning, I read a quote from Charles Spurgeon that says, "God be thanked for the simplicity of the gospel. The longer I live, the more I bless God that we have not received a classical gospel, nor a mathematical gospel, nor a metaphysical gospel; it is not a gospel confined to scholars and men of genius, but a poor man's gospel, a ploughman's gospel; for that is the kind of gospel which we can live upon and die upon."

This is the Christ that I want to go after. I travel 193.63 miles every day to work and back. I pass and encounter so many people along the way. Paul had a route of 1,400 miles on foot preaching the Gospel to all who would hear it. I am challenging myself and those who are in earshot of this blog to maybe get back to the simplicity of the Gospel. Rebrand yourself in the image of Christ that is always trending and will always be topical with situations going on in the world today. Have a revival of sorts, in your own heart to seek out the Christ who seeks out you.

Share Christ's great message of love, grace, peace, and forgiveness to all who will hear it. You never know when you will have a farming moment...(a chance to plant a seed).

halloween...

2011-02-26T16:43:00.000-08:00

Rob Bell is one of the most unconventional, rock star like pastors in the Christian world today. Rob Bell has been a trend setter. Bell's church has over 10,000 parishioners coming to his church each service. People know Bell for his books, his views on Christ and probably his glasses. However, Rob Bell is now the center of controversy and is getting reamed for his "recent" views about heaven, hell, and the rest of everybody that ever lived.

Let me first be clear before I start writing on this topic. I am not claiming to know Rob Bell personally, nor do I know everything there is to know about this topic. I am no expert. I am simply one youth pastor who is trying to challenge the thinking of those who read this blog and to anyone who stumbles upon it.

Rob Bell is now the center of controversy in the Christian world by a recent video and a new book that he is releasing on March 29, 2011. Rob Bell has claimed that "a loving God does not condemn a soul". This statement alone is called "universalism". Bell is claiming that God would not send billions to hell while only a select few go to Heaven to enjoy the glory of God.

Universalism is one of the most controversial subjects that is never talked about in the Christian church. In youth groups across America, I can guarantee most students wouldn't even know what universalism is or what it means. I can say that I have never talked about it before, because of the foundational Biblical beliefs I was raised on and have come to know and follow with my whole heart.

I am heeding a warning to all youth pastors out there....Rob Bell, who can influence A LOT of students with his easy going theology is now a danger and threat to student ministry and the church as a whole. Rob Bell has stated that the reason people turn away from God or want nothing to do with God is because of the whole concept of Hell. Because of this belief, Bell has placed himself on the line of Christianity and falling on the side of the world, where he says being a good person will get you into Heaven. We can't answer the question,"Why would a loving God condemn BILLIONS to hell because they never knew Christ personally like we do?"

Here are my views on this subject and how to point out that Rob Bell is now a threat to us as student ministers. Let me be clear again, this is MY view on this subject and how I feel that he can influence THOUSANDS of students to start having the same belief.

2 Corinthians 11:14–15

And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.

Bell says that God would not condemn people to hell who do not know Him.

John 14:6 says, "Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me (Jesus)"

At the end of our lives, we are taught that we have to give an account for our lives. We must tell God all of our sins in our lives. Rob Bell is now playing Halloween with the rest of the Christian world. He is playing a disguise. Simply put, this is a belief that Satan himself would want us to believe.

If Bell is claiming to challenge the fact that there is no hell, or that our hell is here on earth, then what would be the point of Jesus' death on the cross?

I seem to remember Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. Is it just me, or did I read that the veil in the temple was torn and the earth shattered when Jesus died so that we may DIRECTLY come towards Him and talk DIRECTLY with Him?

Bell is simply saying that in the end of everything Love Wins. This is where I do not disagree with him. Love will win. However, that love that wins is a just a righteous love. The love that bell is describing is a love that will not judge ANYONE at the end time, will not persecute ANYONE who sinned against God all their life, and will not send ANYONE to hell because they believe in their hearts that they were good people.

Being a universalist is such touchy subject, but goes against EVERYTHING that the Bible is written and foundationally built on. JESUS DIED, NOT TO SAVE US FROM GOD, BUT TO SAVE US FROM SIN!

I have not read Bell's new book and I can say I will read it when it is released to see what Bell is really talking about. However, from his little video that is going viral on the internet, he is claiming "To hell with hell" and that a love that surpasses all will get you into heaven, regardless of our beliefs or our life style that WE CHOOSE TO LIVE.

The experiences I have with Jesus is real. Jesus raised me from the land of dead, the worldly ways I was living, and into the light of God. I am NOT going to sit here and let the Gospel, the Good news, be bashed by someone who is revered as "A Rock Star in the Christian world".

Bell has a lot of influence. Bell could be doing this because he really is a universalist and is saying it is OK to live the way we want and sin against Christ all our life, and then go to heaven because we believe we are good people. Bell could be trying to earn a lot of money and garner a lot of attention for his book.

Only Bell knows what Bell's real motives are. The one thing I continue to say and to agree with Bell, is this "Love Wins". A love that surpasses all understanding and knowledge will win. A love that challenges and defeated sin and death wins. A love that loves those who LOVE HIM wins.

Jesus is the love that ultimately wins.

I encourage all of you to buy Rob Bell's book and decide for yourself what you really believe. Do not just take on the beliefs of bloggers like me. I am writing about this subject because a few reasons, I want people to read my blog, I want people to know the Jesus I know through my words, and I want a place to have my writings stored.

Seek out what you really believe about Heaven and Hell. Seek out what you really believe about what type of God God really is. Would God condemn billions to hell? Is there REALLY only one way to heaven? Seek out what God says in the Bible before we take what a wolf in sheeps clothing says in a book that many consider the "New Gospel".

Luke 11:9 "And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you."

graffiti...

2011-02-10T06:52:00.000-08:00

Last night before Bible study, my office was crowded with people. I was reminded, ONCE AGAIN, how plain my office is. So I told the students that they could get creative.
Normally a youth pastor would think this is a terrible idea to give a bunch of kids spray paint and tell them to go crazy on a wall.
Well, that is exactly what I did. I told my kids to go nuts on my wall and see what comes out. The picture to the left is the result of the madness that ensued, the hideous smell, and the haze that was in my office the rest of the night.

I was thinking about all of the creativeness that we seem to look for in ministry, when I walked in my office to be reminded of how creative my students are...or aren't depending on the person. When I think back to how many times I have tried to be innovative and creative, I seem to really plateau. How many youth ministers that are reading this blog can go back in their ministry and say, "You know, I tried the same thing. I wanted to be different to attract more students to my ministry."

It is good to be creative. It is good to be different. The only different I try to instill in my life and the lives of the students I come across is simple, to be Kingdom minded different. Don't be the worldly different.

So often, youth pastors try to have the edge on other churches. Suddenly our local communities have become a stock market and the kids that are involved are the shares being thrown around with no regard. We get so competitive with other groups, that we miss out on some real ministry time with our students we have.

The church I currently work for, is the biggest Methodist church in the area. There are also two large baptist churches right beside us and down the street a few miles. I am not trying to compete with these churches to have more students and have the best youth ministry in town. It is my job to glorify God and follow the vision for this church and to be a branch to the students. I know students that attend both churches and I do not pressure them to come to my church because we are more fun, less serious, and do CRAZY events all the time. If that were the case, I will just hang the circus tent from my steeple and see how many people start coming then!

Graffiti is an art to some people and to others it is a complete and utter waste of time. When I asked my students to put graffiti on my wall, I was asking them to express themselves. I asked them to be their own type of creative and do something different to them.

Why don't we as youth pastors try to infuse and equip our students with these different forms of creativity? Students can see right through us if we are not being genuine and faithful to God.
So often we can be in competition mode that we miss certain students who really needed to be talked to or to be accepted.

Ministry is just like this wall of graffiti that sits before me. It is creative. It is innovative. It is different. But it is not the creativeness to attract hundreds of students to this church. It is not then innovative mentality that makes students think about God more on a daily basis. It is not the difference in the programming that makes students come to this or any other church.
The one simple thing that makes everyone come together is love. Jesus' love for us, our love for Him, and our faithfulness to follow what HE has told us to do.

Early on in youth ministry, I was always trying to find the edge. I was always trying to be on the cutting edge technologically and ministerially. MY edge is nothing new. I can not reinvent the wheel and sell it as a new product. I have to believe in the item I am selling and sell it to the best of my ability. My edge is simply this:

Matthew 28:18-20 (New Living Translation)

¹⁸ Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. ¹⁹ Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,^a]">[a] baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. ²⁰ Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

I am never going to reinvent the wheel. Other youth pastors who are large and in charge of youth ministry have paved the road for people like me. They have been through the burner and back to find out what if effective ministry. These three verses are the most effective ministerial edge we can ever have. If we are faithful to God, our evangelistic outreach is effective.

We must also ALWAYS remember that we do not know more than our senior pastor and we are NEVER our own church. We are simply the branch of the church, following the vision laid down from God to our senior pastor. I am a follower of Jesus and trust that HE will make me be creative and innovative enough to follow Him with my whole life and my whole ministry.
Where are you going to lead your group? Are you going to trade them around and acquire stock to make your group the biggest and the best dog and pony show? Or are we going to make disciples of Christ through His word and faithfulness to us?

end of the world...

2011-01-24T13:31:00.000-08:00

As youth pastors or people who are in ministry, let me ask a very random question: How are we going to prepare for the end of the world?

I'll let the thought sink in a minute. How much are we really changing the lives of the students in our group? It has come to my realization that we are more friends than youth ministers/pastors/directors/shepherds...whatever your title is. The fact of the matter is that we are constantly involved in our students lives in one way or another and how are we turning the spiritual corner?

I was at a youth minister meeting recently. We sat around in a circle and we discussed the great things happening in our youth ministries. I went last. I heard 7 youth pastors tell me "We are having GREAT numbers with our youth rally we just had", "I swear, I keep seeing more and more kids coming to our group, and I just don't know what to do! God is really in control", and the best one was "We are having so many kids, we literally had to open up an overflow room!"

That's great, we achieved step one of the ministry goal. We attracted students to step into our youth rooms or buildings. Now what? I asked that question to the youth pastors around me. I told them my numbers were great for what I felt God was pushing our group in. We have about 30-35 kids come in my group in any given week. Fantastic. I am disciplining these students to prepare them for a life of eternity. When I asked the other youth pastors, because I was curious, how they plan on turning the spiritual corner with their students and stop being the cool guy up front who is funny and has to go bigger than the last time to live up to this proverbial hype he has pressed on himself?

Youth ministry has turned many corners and has matured in many different ways. It went from Sunday school teaching in England in the late 1800's to a full time position of the church. Obviously, the church see's the youth ministry as a strong portion of their church. I am just as guilty as the next person. I constantly play the numbers game. I compare my group to other groups. I sometimes ask WHY CAN'T MY STUDENTS GET IT LIKE THOSE?!?! However, coming to the realization that God has placed me in a position that is to teach the students I have. Whether it is 700 or 12, I can help change the hearts of those students around me, to start an overflow in our community.

Recently I started praying for a revival in my youth group to happen. My students are ready to be in the field of where God is. They are ready to be actual servants of Christ. Why aren't we, the paid position leaders of the church, ready to be a servant of Christ? Did Christ tell me in John that I need to throw big concerts, play messy games, have cool technology and make sure I am talking on the most relevant points to reach students? Maybe that chapter was left out.

It is my understanding that Jesus told us to proclaim HIS name and to teach HIS teachings so that HIS kingdom will grow. Not my group, not MY kingdom, not ME! God has called us to teach those about loving God and loving others to God. Shame on me for letting my parachurch type ministry lead a way of shallow ministry. We need to be a mile wide and a mile deep.

My pastor said to me recently that he wants a spiritual awakening in this church. He wants this church to be turned upside down and to start a revolution in our small community. Not to attract people to our pews or chairs. And NOT to bring in more money. He wants to bring people to their knees so that they can depend on the one true God.

I am praying this is the same vision for my group. I am praying that my youth ministry, the ministry that is not it's own church but merely a branch of the main church, is going to start producing some major spiritual fruit.

I am not coming down on youth pastors. I myself, threw a giant concert. I play the messy games. We have all the cool technology....via microsoft and not apple. However, I have learned that I need to have endurance to plant seeds. I will pray with students when they need it. I will ask them their opinions. I will invest in their lives. It is then, that God will start to grow in their lives and in mine. I am 25, and I still have A LOT to learn about youth ministry. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, but I am preparing my students to die to themselves and for me to die to myself DAILY and take up my cross and walk in the path of the perfect creator who created me to be creative for the kingdom.

Are you dying to yourself daily? Are we REALLY spending time with God when we need to be? I am not all the time. I strive to, but I let things get in the way. The spirit of God is stirring the hearts of a generation that is ready to serve. That generation sits in my group on Sunday nights and Wednesday nights. That generation also sits in your groups and during your meeting times. They also sit on the football field, the baseball field, at home alone because their parents are never home. They sit at lunch by themselves because they might be socially awkward. They may be dying inside today, that causes them to end their life.

What are we doing as youth pastors to prepare our students and ourselves for the end of the world? I can't tell you I know when it is, but I do know one thing.....God loves me for me today. He loves you for you today. He always will. And we as youth pastors/ministers/directors/volunteers, need to love our students and other students to God, so they can love and know the same God we know and talk about almost every week.

new year, new what...

2010-12-31T07:00:00.000-08:00

Here we are on the last day of 2010. We have about 14 hours until lots of people start ringing in the new year. We see people on TV partying, we listen to performers sing on TV, we watch a ball (or peach) drop depending on your geographic location, and we have our own little parties at home with friends or family. Yet, we always make new years resolutions. We always plan to do things better this year than the last one. We always want to better ourselves. But why do we do it?

Are we really making resolutions to better ourselves? Are we just keeping up with the trend and tell people we are going to change ourselves? What if you had a fantastic prior year and you don't want to change anything? My feelings on this are simple, I had an incredible year. I had a lot of highs and a lot of lows. Through it all, God was and is still on the throne. Everything I went through, be it the lowest point of my life, or the greatest day when I married my best friend, God was with me all along the way. He never left my side.

I opened up a journal I had from last year. I started reading some of the things I said. Since today is New Years Eve, I focused mostly on the last few months of my 2009 journal. Here were one of the entry's I found:

December 29, 2009
The end of the year is almost up. It has been a good ride so far. I know next year I plan on reading my Bible more. I just feel like my relationship with God is scattered all over the place. I am doing more of what I want rather than what I feel God wants of me. 2010 is all about God and less about me.

See you in 2010!
MA

This is crazy. I tried to make the year more about God and less about me. When I look at the beginning of this year, I started off on the wrong foot. I was doing more of what I wanted, I let things get the best of me, and I ruined a lot of bridges and relationships I had established. This was all due to the sand that I built my house on. The one common denominator is that God never left me.

When I finally married my wife, I was at the highest point of my life. God was still there.

When I go through the days of this past year in my mind, I see a person who has grown. God matured me. God removed me from situations that were bad for me and has placed me in a situation where I could only and solely depend on Him. Once I got out of the hole I dug myself into, I see that God lifted me out of that hole.

When people ask why we go through bad things, my answer is simple. When we ask God to come into our lives, be lord of our life, and to save us from utter destruction, we ask a huge thing. Our life instantly changes. However, Jesus is not going to enter our hearts just so we feel the warm fuzzy feelings of being a Christian. He is going to come into our lives to help us, guide us, nurture us, care for us, love us and be with us. We will suffer at times as He did. We won't walk on clouds all day every day.

God loves each of us, anyone within the voice of this blog and beyond. For my new years resolution, I am not putting God first on my list. The reason...God is already first. He can't be anything else but first. Traveling through the pits and despair that I felt, I thought I had abandoned God. I was stripped of relationships, reputation, and every ounce of arrogance I had in me to the point where I had nothing left but to cry out to Jesus. As soon as I did, Jesus was there with me crying out in pain.

I have had an incredible year. Some people caught me at the lowest point of my life and they only got a small snap shot of my 25 years of living. Others have loved me and loved on me regardless. Jesus cried with me, laughed with me, and loved with and on me the whole year. Every day, every hour, every minute Jesus was there. In 2011, I have a feeling He will be there the same amount of time.

I am not making a new years resolution. I am going to do the things that are expected of me, I am going to be the best husband I can be (yet I know I will fail at times), I will be the best youth pastor God has called me to be (but I know I will let God down at times), I will be the best Mark Ashby I can be and God wants nothing less.

We are not all going to be famous, be millionaires, or be happy all the time. The reason for this post is to help you see one thing. God called you to be you, no one else. I am not called to be Doug Fields (as much as I would like to be) or my best friend Eric Hendrickson. God has called Mark Ashby to be Mark Ashby and expects nothing less. Jesus knows my strengths, my weakness, my likes and dislikes. Jesus knows ME personally. He knows you the same way.

So for 2011, don't put Jesus first. Don't make expectations of yourself that you don't think you can reach. Be the best YOU you can be. Be the one person Jesus made you into. We can always better ourselves, and we learn from mistakes and wins in our lives. We change and adapt but the one constant in my life is Jesus. He is the always constant and will always be.

So today, I am being the best Mark Ashby I know how to be. I will laugh, I might cry, I might get mad, but I will love Jesus and love anyone else I come in contact with. I will fail, but in the end, Jesus picks me up and helps me move forward. Tomorrow is the start of a new year, but today is all I am focused on.

Nativity Dance...

2010-12-29T16:36:00.000-08:00

It has been a month since I have posted the last blog post. Since then, a lot has gone on and things have been going great in my life. However, I am not here to write about what is going on with me. Right now, I want to share something that I feel is just amazing.

We just passed through the Christmas season and we, as youth pastors, have read about the nativity story to our students. We usually try to make our version really cool and try to put a different spin on things, to make the students really think about Jesus stepping down from Heaven to join man.

However, a friend of mine, Eric Hendrickson (www.uscerock.com) did something above and beyond to make the nativity story stand out. Most of us who don't live under a rock and watch youtube from time to time, have seen the video of the wedding entrance where everyone is dancing to "Tonight" by Chris Brown. It is a really funny video. However, Eric took it to the next level with his students. He put together something called, "The Nativity Dance". It was inspired by Lars Rood (www.larsrood.com). Take a look at this video and see how youth ministry SHOULD be done...

Counterfeit Jesus: Part 1- Two Kingdoms

2010-11-25T05:52:00.000-08:00

The reason this blog post is called counterfeit Jesus is because we need to rethink what we know about Jesus and who He really is. It has become common to us that we see Jesus as our soul protector and He wants us to be safe and secure from the bad things of this world. I would bet that the Jesus of Nazareth that walked around during His time would not even recognize the Americanized version of Jesus we have made Him today. We westernized Jesus into someone who wants us to share His love. That is true, but Jesus didn't want us to be so comfortable to share His love with everyone, He wants us to be radical Christians. I am not saying be extremists for your faith, but I am making a call for Christians to be more bold. Here we will talk about how three simple verses in Luke's account of the birth of Jesus set up such a radical challenge to the kingdom earth had and the way people thought about God.

The birth story of Jesus is a story that a lot of the church misconstrues into something that is common. We see it as the birth of Jesus, the son of God; which is very true! However, we don't see the story behind the story. When I read the birthing story from the Gospel of Luke, I normally read over the first passage. Here is what Luke 2:1-3 says,
Luke 2
The Birth of Jesus
1 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

When I read this, I normally thought and was taught that this was the reason that Mary and Joseph were going back to Bethlehem. When taking a closer look, this was not the only reason that Luke made this account. Here, he is setting up a time when two kingdoms are about to collide.

In High School, we are taught that Julius Caesar was murdered in 44 BC because many of the Roman senate thought he had too much power. Before his death, he adopted a grandnephew and named him heir to the Roman empire. After Caesar's murder, Octavian did three things:
1. He adopted the name Caesar.
2. He set out to kill his father's murderer's, which set up a decade long civil war.
3. He set up games that were in honor of his fallen father.

During the games, a comet appeared and many saw this as a sign of the divinity of Julius Caesar. Octavian used this against his enemies. If his father was a God, this meant that he was the son of a god. After this, a decade long civil war engulfed the Roman region. In 31 BC, Octavian defeated his rival Mark Antony. This was the beginning of "peace" in the Roman empire. People labeled Octavian as the "bringer of peace". Priests included his name in prayers and they made his birthday a national holiday. Soon Octavian was given the name Augustus which means "the illustrious one". He became known as a "savior" and was starting to earn his own divinity on earth. After all, he was the son of a god.

Caesar went on and started to bring "peace" in the region, but it was by the sword. His divinity was political and "divine" in his own eyes. You either chose to be part of the Roman Empire and worship Caesar Augustus or you were killed.

The reason for this quick history lesson is to set up something major. Luke's mention of the census was to set up the stage for how Caesar was trying to take control of the Roman Empire and how far his power reached. The census was to show his power and to see how far his empire reached. Luke set up the stage for the birth of Jesus. In one corner you have the Roman Empire, the greatest kingdom on earth and in the other you have the birth of Jesus who was ushering in a new kingdom. One that would challenge the being of the Roman Empire to the core.

When we look further into The Gospel according to Luke chapter 2:-14,

⁸ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Here we see, hundreds of miles away, angels appeared to the general common shepherds to tell them of the birth of Jesus. The angel was very clever to tell them how Jesus was born also. The announcement of Jesus' birth was in direct opposition to Caesar Augustus and the Roman empire.

The two different empires were established when Jesus was born. The amazing part about these two passages from Luke is that we see that the story is not just of Jesus being born and that Mary and Joseph were going to Bethlehem for a census. We can clearly see Luke is showing that Jesus, even from birth was starting to be a radical Christian. He came into this world, already setting up issues and problems that challenged the authority of that day.

I am writing this blog to see if we can challenge the way we think about God. Challenge what we know about Jesus and start to act as Jesus of Nazareth did. He challenged the authority of the day to get people to worship the true God. I am asking us to seek the true Jesus that walked the walk and talked the talk. We see a Jesus who does one or the other, and in a lot of churches this is how we are taught. Rethink what we know. Don't love the westernized Jesus, we need to love and show the love as the Jesus of Nazareth.

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving! It is refreshing to know I can be thankful for so many things. Family, Friends, a great church family and youth group, an amazing wife, and a God who loves me unconditionally.

distractions...

2010-11-11T11:59:00.000-08:00

If there is anyone out there who watches ESPN, follows college football even a little bit, or reads the sports section of the newspaper, I am sure you have heard about all the alleged allegations about Cameron Newton. For those who live under a rock, Cam Newton is the quarterback for the Auburn University football team. I am an Auburn fan. I went to Auburn. Yet, Cameron Newton has been under a lot of fire in the media as of recent. There have been a lot of alleged allegations regarding his recruitment to Auburn, to play football. There have also been a lot of other alleged allegations about how these stories are coming into the media.

The problem with these stories are that a lot of them are pure speculation. How many times do we sit there and we speculate about something, only because we have a little bit of information about the situation? We make judgments so quickly, without full knowledge of what really happened. Cam Newton has been a champion in dealing with all of his allegations and having negative media and press against a 21 year old man.

Sitting in the office with my senior minister, we briefly talked about how Satan can intervene himself into something that is bigger than he is. When our focus is taken off of God, it is a small win in the eyes of Satan. However, when we are doing things for the Kingdom of God, Satan is going to turn up the heat to get our attention off of God's work.

Wednesday night, I used an example of a student named Zach Hunter. Zach is a youth who at 17 was challenged by his youth pastor to do something to change the world. Zach started thinking about things in the world that were still prevalent around the world. He chose to fight slavery in the world. Human trafficking is where humans are bought and sold on an under ground market. Zach chose to hit this head on. He started the ministry "Loose Change to Loosen Chains". He wanted to break the bond of slavery.

Zach's youth pastor told him to "Be the change!" Zach took this literally. I used the illustrations from the Bible, out of 2 Corinthians 4: 3-6 which state

2 Corinthians 4:3-6 (New Living Translation)

³ If the Good News we preach is hidden behind a veil, it is hidden only from people who are perishing. ⁴ Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.

⁵ You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶ For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ."

I also used 2 Corinthians 5: 20 which states:

2 Corinthians 5:20 (New Living Translation)

²⁰ So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”

Here are two points out of 2 Corinthians where Paul is saying that the gods of this world have veiled our eyes to not see the glory and image of God in Christ Jesus. Distractions take our eyes off of the main goal. When we have a large goal, it takes smaller goals to achieve the bigger goal.

I challenged my youth group and also myself to "Be the Change" in the world around me. When I am doing God's work, Satan is going to send his distractions in my life. Nothing has been more obvious. Seeking the wisdom of those who I work with and by leaning on Christ in the time of despair, I see that God is clearly going to prevail.

At the end of the Bible study on Wednesday night, I did a little exercise with the students. I turned out all of the lights and I told all the students to bring out their cell phones. I told them to keep them off for a minute. I shined my pone into the darkness and asked everyone if they could see it. Then I asked everyone else to turn on their cell phones. The room lit up more and we could start to see details of the room in the darkness. Then I told them to turn their phones off again and I kept mine on. I asked the students if they could still see my phone in the darkness. They all said they could. We turned the lights back on.

I then read the verse John 1:5:

John 1:5 (New Living Translation)

⁵ The light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness can never extinguish it.

The light shines through the darkness and it can never be extinguished. The great part about this verse is that Love wins! I am going to be the change and I am going to let the light of Christ, which is inside of me, shine through the darkness of where Satan is trying to be right now. The darkness can never extinguish the light. In the end, Love wins!

And in the greatness that is there is a band called "The Darkness". This was a hairband that got lost in time and they had a huge hit called "I Believe in a Thing Called Love". I thought I would share this video with everyone. I do believe in a thing called love, and love wins in the end.

the honeymoon effect...

2010-11-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

There are some things in life that I just really enjoy. I love a sunny day but for it to be about 70 outside. I love the smell of a just opened can of tennis balls. I love watching football and pretending I am really good, while playing on Xbox. There are just so many things that one person can enjoy.

This week, I started my new job as the youth minister at my church. This will be my fourth church, but I plan on having a sustainable youth ministry for a while at this church. Things have been great so far! I met with the students on Wednesday night, I have been developing media for the student ministry like crazy!

It got me thinking though, that in our lives we go through MANY phases of how we react to things. It is like watching a child on Christmas morning open up all their new presents to play with them for so long, and then they forget about them. They have this instant high about the new things, then as things gather age on them, things start to cool down. I compare this to youth ministry. When we start a new year, a new job, or a new plan, we get really excited about it. We do so much to promote it, we do so much to do our best, then as we grow complacent with what we have or our job, we start to slack off.

I read in an online article that said, "We can plan and plan and plan and youth ministers can have a 6 year plan. The first two years really start to go according to plan. Year three hits and suddenly your plan is not working anymore. You start to wonder what happened and then you try to adjust the plan to keep it on pace. However, nothing works. Suddenly, you are just going with what doesn't work because it takes too much time to try to adjust to the changes needed."

We look a our lives, our ministries, and our plans and we see complacency in some areas, excitement in others, and things that are going to be left on the back burner for a long time. I want to keep this level of excitement for the youth group. In youth ministry, or in any new area of life, we have the honeymoon effect and then it wears off. Just as I want to love my wife to the best of my ability and what she deserves, I want to maintain the same level in all areas of my life.

Some of you are thinking that this is impossible. We are going to go through ups and downs, we are going to hit a low point and we will hit really high points. Life is much like a roller coaster; there are twists and turns, ups and downs, but in the end we all end up on the even keel. I never want to be complacent with my life, marriage, or ministry.

God has blessed me with a lot of things in my life. It is only my duty to honor Him in all I do in all areas of my life.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling (1 Peter 4:8-9).” - Bible

“Be patient and you will finally win, for a soft tongue can break hard bones. (Proverbs 28:13)” - Bible

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (Psalms 30:5)” - Bible

“And now abideth faith, hope and charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity (I Corinthians 13:13).” - Bible

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you (Matthew 7:12).” - Bible

“The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked (Proverbs 10:11).” - Bible

“Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and never succeed. (Proverbs 12:24)”

the ultimate youth pastor...

2010-10-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

Being a youth pastor, I learned a lot of what I know from my mentor Eric. I learned the ins and outs of youth ministry from him and others. Most of all I learned from experience. My first job I was thrown into the lions den and just prayed to reach the top.

Some of my best times in youth ministry is when I had exactly no idea what I was doing. I don't recommend going straight into a youth worship with no planning or anything of the sort. I saw this video the other day and it really got me thinking about how often, me especially, we try to be the cool guy and try to fit in with the students in our group. Watch this video and see how we can break the ultimate stereo type of being a youth pastors...

The video can be found here.

When we try so hard to be like students that we don't minister to them, we try to just be like them. I understand wanting to fit in and trying to relate to them, but here is my take on this: If we are ministering to students and loving them regardless, preaching the word of God to them and walking along side them trying to help them find their God given path, I say you are fitting right in.

I am no expert in youth ministry, but students will come because they already like you for who you are, not who you think they want you to be. Even though this video is a parody of what some youth ministers are like, try to be more like yourself and be responsible. Follow what you feel God is leading and make sure your ministry aligns with the vision and mission statement of the church. The youth ministry is a branch of the church, not it's own church.

supply and demand...

2010-10-18T05:54:00.000-07:00

This morning I was listening to 104.7 The Fish and they were sharing clips from Kevin and Taylor in the morning. I am guessing they were off the air today because this was from a previous show. However, they played a clip from an interview they conducted and it was just a normal listner. However, what she said was pretty profound in my opinion.

Philippians 4:19 says, "And the same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus." Usually, when I scan this passage, I would think that God is going to take care of me in my hard times, never let me down, supply a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and clothes on my back. However, after listening today, it turned my perspective a little.

When this passage says that God is going to "supply ALL your needs" I believe that He is going to be faithful to walk with me through all my trials and mountain peeks of life. God will provide for me not only with the physical things of life, but with the mental parts, the heart aches, the joys, and all other emotional and mental needs of my life.

I know we can claim these kinds of things all the time. I know I have said, especially recently, that God is going to provide for us, look what He has done in the past. Yet, when I am living and breathing today, I see that God's provision and grace never leave. They also do not show up at random times.

I can't use God like a vending machine. I can't demand all of these things with out doing the things He commands me to do. I can ask God for things and be patient. In the stillness is when we can hear the loud voice of God.

Today, I am challenging myself and all of the readers of this blog to really see where God is providing for you. He is supplying everything we need, even when we think we don't need it. God has watched out for me and given me the things I need at the perfect time for His plan according to my life (that was a REALLY oddly worded sentence). God loves us all and we must share that love with those around us. Speak softly and Love greatly! These are things that God supplies me with even now as I write this blog post.

When my greatest commandment is to love God and love others, I have faith in my God that He will supply me with these things. We can't demand things from God, He is not a genie or a vending machine. I will not be perfect in this, but as John Wesley stated, "I can only strive for perfection. With God's help, I will achieve this goal on while working and walking with Christ for the rest of my life."

a comedy of errors...

2010-10-16T14:16:00.000-07:00

I find a lot of things funny. I have a pretty easy sense of humor. I laugh at simple jokes, I watch funny tv shows, funny movies, and even listen to comedians from time to time. I like to laugh. Today, when I look at certain church leaders, I like to laugh.

It's almost comical how churches treat those inside the church. People go through rough patches in life, but it is REALLY sad. When leaders of the church are bashing those around them, they are also bashing those who also work in churches or sit in their pews. It is a power play. They have the power from the pulpit to condemn all of their congregation and workers to do what they "philosophically" believe is right.

I have seen some pastors even near me right now use their power to degrade and disrupt what God has ultimately planned. And why you may ask? Well, it seems to me that they like to hear their own voice enough and if they can hear their voice in other areas outside their church, well they bring a traveling soap box with them.

Church leadership has changed. Since the economic downturn, churches have had a lot hard times. Fiscally, churches are probably the last places to be hurt. It starts in the retirement funds, the business' hurt, then churches. Due to this, churches don't prepare themselves ahead of time. I am not bashing all churches here. There are great churches out there with incredible leadership. However, when times are tough, turf wars start, and the leadership of the church watches out for numero uno in their eyes: themselves.

It's also funny to see how pastors who preach love, grace, peace and forgiveness in the pulpit do JUST the opposite of that. I am just an observer from the outside looking in. I will be working for a church soon and they have the attitude that should be in most churches. A team atmosphere that is still seeking to align all the ministries with the vision of the church. Everyone is supporting each other and comes to the care of those in need, NOT themselves.

What has happened is completely backwards of what Paul was doing in Acts. In the Bible, it says, "they added to their number daily." yet we are sitting on our hands and trying not to be bold for Christ. We will be bold in front of everyone, either from the pulpit or from the pew. We will do this when we get noticed.

You may ask why I am criticizing the church? I am just as guilty as the next. I have judged people from my position. I have said at one time, "I am better than them." Yet, I have been humbled and God has really shown me the direction to take my ministry to students, to my family, and to ALL of those I encounter. I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be.

All I can say to pastors out there is to really take a look at your own walk. Are you watching out simply for what you believe and then preaching your filth to the congregation on Sunday's for a show? Are you on your soap box claiming one thing and doing another? Slight of hand is cool for magicians and on TV; not for the behavior of the person who helps lead the spiritual lives for hundreds to thousands of people. Pastors know who they are. They know who they want people to believe they are. God knows their heart.

I know my heart. My heart has been damaged many times by my many short comings, failings and sins against God. I have been redeemed and changed from these past ways. Instead of us calling each other out, let us take the challenge set before us and lead people to Christ in any way we can. The way I know how? I lead people by developing dynamic relationships with them, living with them THROUGH THICK AND THIN, praying for them, and trying to really show them God in the situations of their lives (both good and bad). Again, I am not perfect nor will I ever be until I meet Christ face to face.

Are we going to answer the calling we were given? Are we going to REALLY answer the call or let it go to voice mail and get to it later? Quit preaching and teaching filth and blasphemy and start living a life worthy of your calling and your relationship with Christ. I try daily. I fail and succeed daily. Step up or step out of the pulpit. Step off the soap box and let's try to really start this revolution. Instead of listening to your own voice; via pulpit, podcast, tv broadcast, blog, video blog or your own notes, let's listen for the stillness of God. For it is there that we hear His thunderous voice.

I am going to take my travel size soapbox and walk away, but I know I am walking and living for a Christ that loves me and DEMANDS me to love others regardless. Am I showing it all the time? No. Do I try to? Yes. Where are you aligning yourself? With yourself or with Christ?

Isn't it funny that when we are listening to God, we can really start leading on the right foot? Funny...

almost a year: a review...

2010-10-13T05:49:00.000-07:00

This past year has been one of the best and worst years of my life. I lost touch with reality for a while, I had no clue where I was, I was walking around blindfolded in a dark room. I am pretty sure my heart stopped about five times this year, I resigned from my last youth ministry position, I saw my world crumble down before me, and now I am starting to build my life back up. This all started a year ago in October.

First off, I was at a great church with great leadership. I had an amazing job that I really let my ego inflate. I wasn't grounded properly. One day in October, that all changed. My father called me one day and said he wanted to come by and say hey. I thought nothing of it, I was sitting in my office doing some planning and reading, so I told him to come on by. 20 minutes later, he arrived. I was excited! I loved my dad! I loved seeing him. However, that was a day I wish never happened.

My father walks into my office and we sit down and just start shooting the breeze about life. He asked about my then girl friend and my now wife. We were just talking like any father and son should, but then I asked him why he came here. I asked if he was in the area or if he really just missed me that bad. My dad sat there a second, about to cry, and I thought maybe a family member had died. Little did I know, one would be dead to me later. My father told me that he and my mom wanted a divorce.

I broke down into tears. Sitting in my office, I cussed at my father, I called him a quitter, I yelled at him. I begged him not to. I didn't understand why. I didn't even know that my parents were having problems. I thought I could help fix it. I knew it wasn't my fault, but why would this happen to me. I was talking with my wife's parents about marrying her, this couldn't be happening. I went numb. I cried and cried. After my father left, I ran down to my pastors office. I was asking him what can I do. I begged for direction. He helped calm me down and told me I needed to let them work it out. I still had a big ego, I could fix anything. I told him I was going to go see my mother.

I went to her house and she was on the floor crying. None of us could believe what was happening. Our seemingly happy family had suddenly become a statistic in a category that we thought would NEVER apply to us. I prayed with mom and tried to comfort her. Never once have I seen anybody so hurt in my entire life. I was a broken son in a now broken family.

I was determined that this was not going to effect my work or my personal life. I was just going to try to do my youth ministry, my rec ministry, my normal social life, and try to dodge questions better than a politician. All I did was sweep this under the rug. Never ONCE did I give it all to God and ask Him to take this from me or at best walk me through it. I turned my back on God to try to deal with this load myself. All I know is, if I was Samson, God had cut my hair because my strength and zest for life was suddenly taken from me. I was depressed.

I would go into work day in and day out feeling numb, tired, and that I didn't want to be there. My mind was in my work, but my heart was not. I was trying to juggle three different branches of ministry from the church, my personal life, and now the broken marriage of my parents.

It was not soon after all of this happened, that a friend of mine (Eric Hendrickson) talked me into going to the National Youth Workers Convention in Atlanta. This is an event hosted by Youth Specialties. Eric was telling me about these courses we would be taking, the fun I'd have, and it would really get me excited about youth ministry again. It was something that I was looking forward to doing.

November came around the bin, and quickly approached the NYWC. I was getting more and more excited. Eric was going to be staying with me, we would hang out, worship together, take classes and just catch up on old times. It was fantastic. In the back of my mind, this was only a stop-gap between my parents divorce and the Thanksgiving holiday that was coming up. Also, during this time, my brothers and my mother were no longer talking to my father. However, I was secretly texted and calling my father with updates and questions, trying to figure this all out. I loved my dad. It hurt not to talk to him.

During the NYWC, my eyes were lit up like a kid in the candy store. I was grabbing as many free things as I could. I was bouncing from booth to booth signing up for everything. I was buying books, T-Shirts, hats, games, everything that I could grab within arms reach. I was getting so fired up about youth ministry again. This was the break that I needed from life to really get my spirits lifted. I heard speakers like Perry Noble speak about youth are the church of today and that we need to be more fired up than ever! I LOVED IT! I heard Andy Stanley talk about how important and vital youth ministry is and how the generation that was rising in youth leaders today were that of a servants heart. I ATE IT UP! I heard David Crowder Band sing in concert. I about fainted. I heard Donald Miller speak about his life without his father. SLAM! My world came crashing down and I literally felt and heard the words Donald Miller was speaking. I suddenly thought of my parents divorce. I thought of how my family was being torn into 5 fragmented pieces of a once great shell.

After NYWC, Eric left and I brought back some amazing ideas and curriculum from the convention. I was getting excited about my job again. I was praying more, living more in the word every day, journal, yet I still did not give my all to God. I was holding back.

Thanksgiving came and I was selfish. I was sad my father could not be there with us. I was sad that my family has been broken and hurt. It felt almost forced to be a happy family. It was great to see kin in TN, but it was not the same. During all of this, people would tell me they're sorry, they are praying etc. Never once did someone offer to sit down and talk with me about it. Never once did people say I know what you are going through. People would send their condolences via facebook, email, or a card in the mail. It's too bad that talking face to face or even on the phone would mean more to someone at this point in life. I got angry.

I was not angry at God, I was angry at myself. There were rumors that my father was having some affairs and this is the reason they were getting a divorce. I never thought that would be true. I got mad at my family who kept telling me that they had proof but couldn't show it to me or tell me where they got it. I was livid with my whole family at this point. I wanted nothing to do with anyone, but I still wanted to support both parents. I never thought my dad would do this.

I found out soon enough through the evidence that it was all true. My dad had multiple affairs throughout his and my mothers marriage. I was devastated. My own father lied to me in my own office. He sat cold like a stone and told me to my face that there was no one else. My life had come crashing down.

The only person that really knew all my pain was my girlfriend at the time. She had no clue how to react or what to say. She felt as numb as I did. We were both devastated. I had already come to the conclusion that she and I were going to get married. I prayed hard about that. I had to have some good to cling to. For me, during a lot of this time, it was her. She was and still is to this day my rock here on earth and my absolute best friend.

December rolled around. In 24 years of life to this point, I had always seen my dad's side of the family. Time for new traditions. I didn't see any of them. Christmas came and went, and I was continuing to down spiral. It was time I spent more time with God.

In January, I really hit the Word on a daily basis. Sometimes more than a few times a day. I was starting to get my life back on track. I even got engaged to my beautiful best friend. Life was really good. I felt like I was being myself again. However, I was harboring anger towards my father. More than anger at times. If I thought about him, my heart rate jumped. I would turn into the hulk, minus the huge muscles and green skin. It was more of high blood pressure and the flushing whiteness of my skin. I looked like a beefy Casper the angry ghost.

A few months passed and the problem was still in my heart that I could not let go of this anger. I was still trying to juggle three different branches of ministry, and I felt overwhelmed. The church and I came to an understanding and I left my position, effective immediately. I felt as though I had let tons and tons of people down. Worse, I felt I let God down.

The next few weeks were tough. I was lying in bed, sleeping in, not doing a whole lot of anything. Finally one day, I decided to get up and start gardening. I went and took out all my old plants at the house and started to put new ones in. These had to be nurtured. They had to be cared for in order for them to grow and flourish. It gave me something to look forward to.

I started to journal again. I started praying more and more. I took the quote from Beth Moore that says, "My life at the lowest point was a minute by minute battle with God. I would cry out to God in anger, frustration and heart break. The great thing, was the God always heard me and with my minute to minute battle, Christ was battling with me second to second."

I started to care for my garden. My garden was my retreat. I would work for hours in the sun, digging, slaving over root systems, knocking down dead and over grown bushes. I was giving my house some curb appeal. A friend and I were talking one day, and I would not get off the subject of gardening. He told me that he truly thinks this was the thing that saved me from my breaking point. He says God planted the seed in me long ago and it was NOW coming into fruition. It took your gardening to realize that. I was shocked and for one of the few times in my life, I was speechless.

Now we are back here in October of 2010. This year has flown by. I am now married to the most beautiful, wonderful, loving, cute, friendliest, kindest woman in the world. I now have a new job where I will be doing ministry in the church setting again. I am finally in a place where I am honoring God, giving everything to Him, and letting my life be honoring to Him. He has always been there with me. He never left me by my side.

Isaiah 55:6 says, "Seek the LORD while He may be found; call on Him while He is near."

Philippians 1:21 says, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

2 Corinthians 7:1 say, "Since we have these promises dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God."

Psalm 143: 10 says, "Teach me to do your will, for you are MY God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground."

God never left me. The reason I wrote his novel of a blog post today is because I want people to know that there are all kinds of struggles out there. There are many that you may not even realize, yet that are hurting and waiting for that sign from Christ. We can be that sign that people are looking for. If our heart beats for God, it beats to serve God and those who love and need Him.

my own little world...

2010-10-12T16:33:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here watching a TV show on tru tv called "Operation Repo". This is a show about a bunch of nasty looking people taking other peoples cars because they don't make payments. It shows the reactions of the people who's car is getting repossessed, how the repo men and women handle it, and the general day and life of the repo office. This is a very odd show. It is like a car accident, you kind of keep looking at it because we can't turn away from it.

Watching this show, sitting on my bed, and now blogging to my 3 readers, I am realizing that we are wasting time in our lives. I sit here, glued to the tv screen and computer screen trying to pass the time by. What happens to the lives of those who step out? What happens to those who are not just sitting on their butts and hands waiting for life to come to them?

These circus people on Operation Repo have to face a lot of different people every day; all walks of life. We all encounter tons of people every day as well. What are we doing to help change the world for the Kingdom of God? We are letting time pass us by and letting the world get the better of those around us. It is time to change. It's time to wake up, we have things to do!

Matthew West says it best in his new song, "My Own Little World" off the album "The Story of Your Life" :

In my own little world it hardly ever rains

I’ve never gone hungry, always felt safe

I got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet

In my own little world

Population: me

I try to stay awake during Sunday morning church

I throw a twenty in the plate, but I never give ’til it hurts

And I turn off the news when I don’t like what I see

It’s easy to do when it’s

Population: me

What if there’s a bigger picture?

What if I’m missing out?

What if there’s a greater purpose

I could be living right now

Outside my own little world

Stopped at a red light, looked out my window

I saw a cardboard sign, said “Help this homeless widow”

And just above that sign was the face of a human

I thought to myself, “God, what have I been doing?”

So I rolled down the window and I looked her in the eye

Oh how many times have I just passed her by?

I gave her some money then I drove on through

And my own little world reached

Population: two

What if there’s a bigger picture?

What if I’m missing out?

What if there’s a greater purpose

That I could be living right now

Outside my own little world

My own little world

Father break my heart for what breaks Yours

Give me open hands and open doors

Put Your light in my eyes and let me see

That my own little world is not about me

What if there’s a bigger picture?

What if I’m missing out?

What if there’s a greater purpose

That I could be living right now

I don't wanna miss what matters

I wanna be reaching out

Show me the greater purpose

So I can start living right now

Outside my own little world

My own little world

My own little world

How many times are we stuck in our own little world? Oblivious to the things around us and those hurting around us. Sometime we are often so hurt ourselves, we let ourselves get down in the dumps of the world. We need a revival in our life.

Being in the absolute pits of life as I have been recently, God has truly brought revival into my life. I will be doing ministry in a church setting again. God has shown His provision to my family. Even in the darkest pit, God's light was still there. Genesis 1:4 says, "And God saw that the light was good. Then he separated the light from the darkness" NLT.

If you sit in a dark room by yourself, and you turn on a light, what happens? You are able to see the light and see the things around you. I believe in Christ as I believe in the sun; not because I see it, but because by it, I see all things.

#stumin...

2010-10-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

You know, it's funny. The generation of youth ministers are on the incline because of people like MarkO, Doug Fields, Duffy Robbins and many others. These people have helped pave the way for youth ministers to be a real ministry in a church. Youth ministries are now seen as a real branch of the church. In the beginning stages of youth ministry, it was available in churches, but either the pastor or a volunteer would be leading the group.

However, today, we are seeing a youth culture that is craving more and more. In a microwave economy, we see ministries and students involved in those ministries want more and more at a faster rate. The demand for the product is higher than the producer can produce the product (that made sense right?). As youth ministers, we are asked by our churches to do a lot more and the students want more as well.

And now there are youth ministers rising up, and it is not in a good way. Youth ministers are getting defensive against the churches saying their demand is too high, their pay is too low, and we will do a little bit more than the minimum for the maximum result. Youth ministers are getting into a turf war with churches. One big reason is that older adult leaders in the church will see the youth as the church of tomorrow. However, you ask a youth minister, they will tell you the youth are just as important as the older adults in the church. THE YOUTH ARE THE CHURCH OF TODAY!!! seems to be a battle cry of a lot of youth ministers. Youth ministry culture is at a cross roads and some of us are not sure where to go.

That is why we lean upon the people who have helped pave the way. Most people will look at those before them to help pave the way for them, or to help that person form their own path. I can agree and disagree with the new turn that youth ministry is taking. I can say that the youth are just as important as the rest of the church; students are the church of today as well. The part I disagree with is that churches see youth as the church of tomorrow. The trend amongst pastors is that the youth ministry is one of the most vital branches of the church.

My call to youth ministers is this: even though we run a ministry, it is not it's own church. When youth ministers are entering this turf war between the church and them, it is a ground that starts to build the student ministry on their own foundation, thus building it's own church. I am a firm believer that the youth ministry is just a branch of the church. We are trying to align our ministry to the vision of the church so that we are not teaching against the vision that the church as a whole is trying to accomplish. Try not to enter turf wars. Sit down and talk with your pastor about direction of the youth and see what they have to say. Most pastors have worked in youth ministry, so they can offer some help in that area.

Be encouraged by the vision of the church. Be excited about aligning your self with the vision of the church. Be the branch that bears just as much fruit as other branches of the church. Support the other branches as well, but focus on how to grow your student ministry so that students follow through onto college and adulthood, loving Christ and following God's will for them.

real world parents, NYWC, youth culture as a whole...

2010-10-08T05:28:00.000-07:00

I have been out of youth work for just about 6 months now. I try to stay consistent on the ins and outs of youth culture and the youth worker's world. There are so many things going on, that it is difficult to really keep up with the latest hot book or new topic that should be talked about. One thing I can say that I never faced up or even talked about in a youth setting is bullying.

This morning, I logged onto the Atlanta Journal Constitution's website (http://www.ajc.com/) and I came across an article that was written by an AP reporter on a teen suicide. However, this was one of 4 teen suicides that happened in ONE high school. Most reports would lead that these students were "bullied to death".

I sat and read this article, wide eyed at the fact that there is more bullying going on than people realize. I was bullied in high school as well. It never drove me to the point of depression where I could not go to school anymore, however in Mentor High School there have been 4 teen suicides due to "bullying" in the past 3 years.

Mark Matlock has written a book and a seminar called "Real World Parents". This is a seminar that helps parents be more involved in a students life. It helps them with parenting their children into believers of Christ, mentoring them, loving them through the hard times, and it also allows an open dialogue between parents and children that is more archaic than anything in today's families. Matlock likes to post on twitter, the Real World Parents Blog, and Real World Parents website articles and posts that can help parents understand youth culture more. Youth culture is constantly changing and the generation that parents grew up in share similarities but are way different to the standards of their children's generation.

Similarly, Youth Specialties likes to put on a convention twice a year called the National Youth Workers Convention, or NYWC. It is through this that youth workers and volunteers can get together, worship and learn new techniques to keep them up to date on how the youth world is revolving. It can also teach us, as youth workers and volunteers, new ways to reach students in their world, without changing our own view on the world.

Recently, at NYWC San Diego, Doug Fields was a speaker in one of the big room seminars. Doug Fields, who is probably one of the most famous youth pastors around and has helped shape youth ministry into what it is today, told a story referencing teenage suicide saying unless a student was going to kill himself he needed to, "go home". I was not there to hear the talk, but I do know that it was referenced as a joke. The sad part is, teenage suicide is not a joke. Youth ministers and workers alike can overlook this constant attack on students, even in their own groups. If we are going to speak to 3,000 other youth workers and help guide them and up lift them, do we really need to joke about turning students away from the church and tell them to "go home" unless they are going to kill themselves. Out of context or not, this made me sad to hear someone I look up to say something like that.

The reason I am writing this blog post today is because something very real presented itself to me in the article I read about teen suicide. Youth workers alike are not paying attention to the real issues that are hitting teenagers today. Another blog a friend of mine, Eric Hendrickson, showed me a few months ago talks about the mistakes a lot of youth workers make. One of the top five things was that we are relying on the newest book and curriculum to help us keep our finger on the pulse of youth culture. Youth workers are taking these books and curriculum as gospel and spilling it out on our students without really reading over things, and trying to relay it to our own group so that they understand. I am guilty of this as well.

We must really seek where we are getting our Gospel from. We must also try to dive into the youth culture head first and try to be as relational as we can with the students we encounter. The sad part is, as youth workers we sometimes get along with some students more than we do with others in our group. Without trying to show favoritism, we sometimes make fun of the odd students behind their backs. We want to fit in with our students and we really want to be funny and be the person everyone wants to hang around, but we can be just as much of a bully as people that students encounter at school.

A book that I would recommend to all youth workers is Unfiltered Relationships by Andrew Root . This book lays out in detail how a real youth worker should be. I was changed by this book, however it does not shape my life on youth ministry. It had a profound impact, but nothing more. I build my world around the true Gospel of Jesus Christ and I try to be the best youth pastor I know how, for Him.

This is not a smack in the face of youth ministers and workers that read this blog (if any do!). However, this is a time for us as youth workers to really rise up and see where youth culture is going today. We must equip ourselves and brace for impact as we jump into the deep end of youth ministry. We need to disciple students as Jesus did with His disciples. We must create and atmosphere that is inviting and loving to students of all kinds. We must try to have our hearts AND ears AND eyes open to all our surroundings to really understand youth culture. As a youth worker, minister, pastor, leader, volunteer, or warm body we must try to create an atmosphere that focuses on the students but also connects parents with their students. It is a true family environment that we must achieve to have successful relationships within and outside the church walls.

Psalm 23 for youth workers

2010-10-05T18:43:00.000-07:00

I got this from Whyismarko.com I think it speaks right to the heart of youth ministers and really gives us a perspective that we may not usually see as youth workers. I hope this is encouraging to all who read it, as it was for me. Thanks MarkO!

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death*,

*the shadow of death =
fear of losing your job
the small group of parents who want you gone
budget cuts and wondering what’s next

I will fear no evil*,

*evil =
the idea that you’re not good enough
the idea that maybe you’re not called to this
the idea that you’re too old, or too young, or too untrained, or too uncool

for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies*.

*your enemies =
those who spread rumors about you
those who complain anonymously
the lies of the evil one who attempts to seduce teenagers away from the gospel

You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever

ministry minutes...

2010-09-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

In youth ministry today there are a lot of blogs, books, DVD series, curriculum and t-shirts that explain the next great thing. As a youth minister myself, I often find myself clinging to a lot of the ideas of the big wigs of youth ministry to help form my own opinion about youth ministry. A friend of mine told me a quote by John Welsey today that says, "Every seven years I am burning my old sermons. I should not be doing what I am doing if I can not continually change and be creative."

I look at a lot of different types of curriculum to find an idea or to really just outline for myself. How many of us have really even claimed some of the things that Doug Fields or other youth pastors have written, and said that we actually thought of it first? Youth ministers have sort of become lazy. I am just as guilty as the next person.

When trying to be creative or write your own curriculum, here are some ideas I have about helping the creative process:
1. Ask for help! We should not be too proud to ask for ideas of subjects the students want to talk about. If you have great relationships with your students, they will be pretty honest with you about subject matter they would like to hear about and discuss.
2. Try to be creative. We do not have to reinvent the wheel to keep students attention. We can dive right into the Bible and really grow our students. However, heed the warning that we don't want groups that can be a mile wide and an inch deep or vice-versa. We need to have enough disciplining to help our students want to crave more of the word.
3. Try to be original. It is great to use curriculum that has already been made and really mold it into our own to fit the group we have, but we should try to be a little more original than that. We can try to fit our own style into the students lives and into our youth groups.

Before I ever give a talk I ask myself these questions and I am thinking maybe they can help those who read this blog as well.
1. Is this REALLY what God has put on my heart to lead this week?
2. Have I gotten lazy with my work?
3. Is this going to mean more to me than the students?
4. Have I prepared enough for this lesson to answer questions after or during?

I hope this helps those who are serving in youth ministry. Whether it is volunteer or paid, keep doing a work that can often be underrated and unappreciated. However, remember we are there to help students grow closer with Christ and help equipping them to be disciples in the world outside the youth room walls.

circling the bandwagon...

2010-09-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

Here are some obvious facts about my life:
1. I love sports. Mostly football, but if there is a sport on that I am even remotely interested in, it's on my TV screen or even my phone checking the score.
2. I can be a fair-weather fan. I cheer when teams do well and I don't when they lose.
3. I used to be a bandwagon fan, before I really understood a lot more about players and coaches and what it takes to put a team together. Also, what it takes to be a pro athlete.

When I encompass my passion for sports, it seems to make the other passions of my life seem very minuscule. I can tell you a lot about the stats of players, the condition of injuries for players on my favorite teams, even HISTORY about my favorite sports teams. However, I don't know if I can honestly say these things about my spiritual life.

It's funny to me, to look at my life and I can give you a quick ESPN update of my life in about 3 minutes but I have to make way for the more passionate things that I care about during this season of my life. It just so happens that this season of my life coincides with football season. Funny how that happens.

Why do we get so passionate about the things we love and hate at the same time? Last night is a prime example. Many of my friends are UGA football fans. Now that their team is losing, it is time to fire everyone in the front office and start over. The bandwagon has left the building.
Alabama, Boise State, Ohio State. These are teams people love when they win, however won't even wear a hat and t-shirt that supports them when they are losing.

Why are we so passionate about football? Why can't we be as passionate about God in our lives and how real He is today? I know why, everyone has jumped off the bandwagon of the spiritual lifestyle.

People today, I am as guilty as the next, jump from book to book and mega-church pastor blog to mega-church pastor believing in the gospel of the pastor or author. However, I can tell you my fan base is the author of life. How rude can I be to shove God out of my life for 4 quarters while I scream cheers for my team and hate for the other. What has the UGA football team ever done to me, an Auburn fan? They beat my team a couple of times? Ouch.

It is my simple observation, that I have A LOT of reorganizing to go on in my life. People are constantly jumping from one bandwagon to another until that ride is over. Then they find another one to jump onto, because it is the popular choice. People jump off the Jesus bandwagon when life sucks, but if it is good we give all the praise. Didn't Ludacris thank God for the Grammy he won?

I went through a HUGE rough spot in my life recently. It has been the worst year of my life. That is because I was jumping on my own bandwagon and trying to get others to join me. The problem, there were no horses leading it. I was pulling my own bandwagon and had FEW if ANY followers. Then, after pulling all that weight, I questioned where God was! I screamed and yelled at Him, telling Him He is the worst thing.

I do the same to UGA football, Alabama football, and anyone who opposes my team; which in my eyes is the GREATEST FOOTBALL TEAM EVER ASSEMBLED! (Yeah right!) I am now circling my bandwagon and making camp. I am setting up for the long haul because during the cold winters of my life and the nice cool summers days of my life, Jesus will still be there and will still be on the throne. That is something I can cheer for.

MY challenge to myself and those that read this blog is to try to change the seasons of your life right now. Don't make them in sync with sport seasons, try to find the rhythm and the heart beat of God. Make camp and jump on the bandwagon that is the most consistent bandwagon ever assembled. Today I choose God.

interruptions...

2010-09-23T16:51:00.001-07:00

These days there can be so many distractions around us. While I type this blog post, I am trying to watch TV. I am not a multi-tasker. This makes it hard for me to do more than one thing at one time. I type a few words or a whole sentence and then I look up at the TV screen to see what I am missing. I am easily distracted by things. There is an old bumper sticker that says, "I have ADD and....look a squirrel!" Story of my life.

However, I talked with a close friend of mine. He has been beaten down by people, and it is distractions that bring us down. It always seems that when we are down, people keep coming in and knocking the wind out of our sails.

I want to encourage those who are currently being beaten or just feel stagnant in the world today.

Psalm 34:19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;

Proverbs 2:7 He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless

Psalm 5:12 For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

Psalm 9:9 The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

When we are in our ministry places, whether we work in a church or in our work place, or even those we encounter every day; we have a lot of interruptions that can distract us from our work. When we have some good things going, the Devil is going to try to fight against more and more.

While I was talking with my friend today, he was telling me of his frustrations. People who are distracting the ministry from being at it's fullest potential. While I was in my last ministry position, I was trying to please so many people to keep from making them mad, it hindered my ministry to being to its fullest potential. While I was sitting there being Peter People Pleaser, I was NOT pleasing the God who loved me.

So many times we get these interruptions by the evil one that we can only focus on these things. We constantly strain our vision to the vision of others. WHY CAN'T WE FOCUS ON WHAT CHRIST WANTS? Has it ever occurred to people that disrupt the flow of a good ministry that they do not always know what is best?

As a person who works in a church and does ministry for a living, I can understand the interruption to try to find the corrective lens to fix the focus of our ministry to fit those who are upset. We must keep our eyes on Jesus. Only then can we disrupt the interruptions and continue the flow of a ministry as it should be.

As I finish this blog post I am going to st......funny commercials are great!

picking up the crumbs...

2010-09-22T07:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first time since April that I updated my blog. It felt really good to be posting my thoughts and feelings on an issue that has been around for a while. Today, I have another issue that is on my mind and heart.

Pursuing Christ is the longest and hardest journey we will take until our lives here on earth are over. My life, over the past year, has taken such a long and curved path I felt lost, afraid, alone, and scared. Due to all of these emotions, I lashed out. How many times in ministry do we feel so backed up against the wall that we just lash out because our emotions get in the way of how God is going to be moved?

That is what happened to me. However, it was not people puting their problems on me, it was purely my fault. I let the world get the best of me, I tried to defend my castle and I lost the battle in a huge way. It cost me my job, my realtionships I had built, the reputation I once had and my credibility within certain circles of people. I let myself get a strong hold on the world that I live in and not to the world where moths and rust cannot destroy.

I lost a lot of my focus. After all of the foundation under me came out from under me, I no longer felt alone. When I was stripped of all my pride and the house that I built on the sand, God rushed through my life like water bursting through a dam.

I have since started to pick up the crumbs of my life. I had to start over. I had a major reality check before I could realize where God was leading me. I am now on the incline, with Christ by my side daily. Let me share a few things of where I went wrong:
1. Daily Reading- I tried to read daily. Did you catch that? I tried to read daily, but it wasn't my Bible I was reading. I was reading the latest blog post by the current cool pastor. I was reading the newest book to shape and form my own theology around.
2.Prayer- I was praying, but only before meals or after a talk. I didn't have the best prayer life. I was only praying when I needed something. God was my grocery store and I took only what I needed.
3. Supplication- I was feeding myself from the Gospel from books and other people rather than the Father Himself.
4. Application- I was not applying anything I was teaching or learning to my life. My pride got in the way and clouded my vision and judgement of everything around me and caused my ultimate demise.

These are the things I feel a lot of youth pastors may go through. We learn the new hip topics, keep up with the culture, try to fit in, and lose our focus of the things that really matter. As I pick up the crumbs from where I was and try to start fresh, learning from my past mistakes, I pray for those who may be going through these motions in the first place.

infomercial evangelism...

2010-09-21T13:25:00.000-07:00

Steven Furtick is preaching for 24 straight hours today. Steven Furtick is also "pimping" his new book, Sun Stand Still. This is a new and innovative way to be "audacious" in ministry. To be an "audacious" Christian, we must read his book to ask God to do big things. Is this really the way ministry has turned out to be today? Let me first off be clear, this is not a bash at Pastor Steven Furtick or Elevation Church. This is simply a vocal opinion about how the church has constantly evolved into a mold that is going in a very dangerous direction.

There is a term that is trending in the Christian Evangelical world today called "mega churches". These are churches that average over 5,000 people on a single day or weekend for their services. More and more, people aspire to be the top dog in ministry to get noticed, write books, have cool tweets, awesome blogs that transform lives, and now ministers are taking the road to reach people via facebook, twitter, foursquare and any other media outlet to reach "those who are not in churches".

Through all of this, it seems to me that pastors of these larger churches that are currently on the rise, are trying to sell Christ to people who are looking for the missing link in their lives. I can compare people like Perry Noble, Steven Furtick, Ed Young Jr. and more to Billy Mays. Yelling at people and trying to sell a product to people in order to get them to believe or buy into the idea of being a Christian.

The sad fact is, pastors that are walking down this dangerous road are constantly transforming their own image to appear more of a "real person" to the normal, common folk. Today it is skinny jeans, flannel shirts from Buckle, and converse allstar shoes to complete the image of the younger generation.

When I read the same Gospel that the pastors are reading, I see a Jesus that never changed His image to fit the common folk around Him. He constantly preached and built relationships with everyone whom He encountered. I love the story of the Woman at the well. Jesus speaks to a woman who has a lot of problems, but still loves her.

Mega Church senior pastors know some of their congregation. Those who have given them money since the beginning. Where is the relationship building? Where are the changed lives? People are growing in faith, but if Furtick, Noble, Stanley, Giglio, Young and all the others retired from ministry tomorrow, what would happen? Would the church crumble before our very eyes? Would people be seeking Christ in a different way? Or would the church as a whole follow Christ beyond the point that we can ever fathom?

I am not saying that there aren't things right with these churches. The great part is, these pastors can convey the message of Christ in ways that are so creative and innovative, we can take from that and tweak it to our own style of ministry. Each one of us that are believers are in ministry from the day we start believing.

I respect all of the pastors I have mentioned in this blog post. I am trying to call out a new way of ministry that is nothing new. We need to have an unfiltered relationships with all we encounter. We need to love with a love that surpasses everything people can imagine. We need to act and speak the word and actions of Christ to everyone. We must pray continually. We must be joyful in Christ. We must talk with Christ and listen to Him everyday. Our lives must be built on the foundation that Christ changed this world and our lives and through that we can HELP transform others lives.

If we are too focused on trying to sell the product, but don't believe in the product we are selling, are we really that effective of a salesman anyway? Why do we have to try to change something that has been constant for more the 2,000 years? I am no Billy Mays. I can not sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves. What I can do is love those around me and those I encounter. I can speak to them in love and I can my hardest to tell them about the Jesus that saved me from the train wreck my life was headed towards and now I am on the right path. I do not build my life around me. It is not MY legacy I am trying to leave. I am trying to leave a legacy of Christ that fits only His ultimate design for my life. I will never make the Sun Stand Still. Then again, I am not trying to. I am not a disciple of the next infomercial evangelical to come along and have a huge church. I am a disciple of the God Most High. Love God first. Love others as God loves us.

back to back...

2010-08-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

April 7, 2010. That was the last post I put up. A lot has happened in my life since then, but I am not here to talk a whole lot about me. This post is to talk about getting back to basics, or in simpler terms, just getting back!
It is amazing to see the provision God shows us when we put our trust into Him. For so long, we look to put God behind us and let the things of this world get in the way of our vision. I used to think that my plan and God's plan were right on par with each other. I had every thing planned out, but God was nowhere to be found. Readers, GOD DOES NOT FIT INTO OUR BLACKBERRIES OR IPHONE SCHEDULES!
So often we try to just schedule a time to pencil God into our day. We like to put our back on God, but we also use that position to lean on Him, just not while we face Him. It is sad to see where I and so many people have come.
I had an amazing experience a few weeks ago. I shared with God how much I had been hurting. I told Him I needed Him, just not on my terms anymore. It was as if a light bulb went off in my heart. God said to me, you must look at how I have provided for you this whole time.
God's provision comes in several ways:

1. We can't see God's provision until we align with His vision.
We are BLIND to God sometimes but Christ can heal the blind! John 9:1-7

2. Turning our back on God, we only use I-vision

We need to wake up and see what and where God is moving! Spend time with Christ in the quiet place and let His provision come over you.
God has provided much for me and my future bride as He has weeded out the bad of our lives and shown us where He needs us to go. As we embark on our new journey, we are not getting married to please ourselves, we are getting married to please Christ.
Don't turn your back on Christ. Lean on Christ for Him to share HIS vision and provision for you.

Hold Us Together

2010-04-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

VERSE ONE:

   It don't have a job

   Don't pay your bills

   Won't buy you a home
       
    In Beverly Hills


VERSE TWO:

  Won't fix your life

  And find easy steps

  Ain't the low or the limp
      
Or the government



PRE CHORUS:

But as soon you needed...

CHORUS:

Love, will, hold us together

Make us a shelter

to weather the storm
   
And I'll, be, my brothers keeper
      
So the whole world will know
        
That we're not alone

VERSE THREE:
    It's waiting for you

    Knockin' at your door

    Every moment of truth
              
    When your heart hits the floor




PRE CHORUS TWO:

When you're on your knees then...

CHORUS:

BRIDGE: x2
         
This is the first, day of the rest of your life
          
This is the first, day of the rest of your life
   
'Cause even in the dark you can still see the light
                 
It's gonna be alright, s'gonna be alright

How To Love...

2010-03-26T08:31:00.001-07:00

One day, when I was sitting in one of my sociology classes at Auburn, my professor raised a very unique question. He asked, "Is there one thing that connects all beings together?" Several people raised their hand and some said things such as, "Our instincts our what connects people together." He said that is true, but not the answer he was looking for.
Sidebar for just a second: This professor has done a lot of case studies and has been in the sociology filed for 25+ years. He knew what the answer was and he also stated that it took him traveling the globe, studying people in social situations, writing papers, having a family, and discovering God that he finally came to this conclusion.
The professor continued, "This is the one thing that we all know in different forms. We can use this, hate it, make it better, we can show it, express it, read about it, and much more. What is the one thing people crave from some, yet it connects all beings together?"
Our class sat silent as we didn't know the answer. Suddenly a hand went up. It was a very shy type of hand raise, because this person did not want to be wrong. She said, "Is it Love?" The professor jumped up and screamed, "YES! Love is what connects all beings together!"

This professor I had is a close friend of mine, in fact we still communicate through email every now and again. I also have his permission to talk about him in this blog, but no names will be named.

Through out that class session, we talked about nothing but love and the many different types of love we all have, crave, need, show and express. He left us with the thought that, whether or not you believe in God or a higher being, through out different religions, love conquers all.

As I left this class that day, I do believe that I was changed! From there, I went on to grow in my life, my ministry and my relationship with Christ. I was reading a devotional book this morning, and the scripture came from 1 Peter 1:22 which says, "You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart."

Through Jesus, we were cleansed from our sins. This only happens when we obey the truth that Christ offers us and God shows us. Through this cleansing of our sins (the greatest expression of love that has ever happened and will ever happen) we must go and show SINCERE love to each other as brothers and sister. We must love deeply with our WHOLE HEART!

What an uplifting verse! I can't believe what God has shown me from this verse and how through this, I am brought back to my time at Auburn and reminisce of my times there. I learned a lot while in school at Auburn, but I have never learned as much as I can about life and love expect through reading the Bible and sharing and showing my relationship with Christ.

There is a lot of political things going on now that has caused a nation divided almost. Whether we feel one way or another, does Christ not call us to love each other,enemies and neighbors, but we must first love God and ourselves?

Family, it is time that we put away our petty differences!We can stand on the front line for God or we can wait quietly in the back! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? MY GOD has CALLED me to LOVE those who I encounter on a DAILY BASIS! This does not mean I can go out and push people off because I do not want to talk to them at that time. A walking and talking relationship with Christ is not sunshine and smiles all the time. There are times we go through ups and downs, yet the real relationship that Christ shares with us is through both the good and bad. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU! Why do we forsake Christ and turn our backs on Him?

I think I, and a lot of people, have a mentality sometimes of the prodigal son. We can do what we want, turn around and be forgiven, then live life as we want to again. HOW FALSE IS THAT STATEMENT! Share the love of Christ, the grace that He offers everyone, to everyone so that His kingdom will be advanced on this earth so that ALL will know who Christ is.

As I close this post, please note that I am challenging myself to be a better sharer of Christ's love that He has shown me. I will try to not be selfish and worry about myself and how I will make it through this life. I will depend on Christ for all matters that come through my life and I will seek Him out through the best of my ability and through that I will share the love that I know to my brothers, sisters, enemies and neighbors. Will you?

How To: Be a Nerd...

2010-03-15T07:41:00.000-07:00

I am about to reveal how much of a nerd I really am. Are you ready for this? Hidden beneath my strong physic and my physical stature, I love to watch the show....Star Trek: The Next Generation.
................................................(this is me pausing while you laugh)................................(done yet?)..........

Star Trek: TNG is about the starship U.S.S. Enterprise. It has a very large crew and is the lead ship for The Federation, which is an alliance between Earth and a bunch of other races of different beings. I told you I was about to reveal my nerd side.

This show, however, is a very popular show, as it was during its time as well. They show it on Peachtree TV here in Atlanta, and I DVR it to watch it later in the morning. Occasionally I watch it while it is actually showing. Yet, whenever I watch it, there seems to be some kind of lesson that can be taken from the voyages of the Enterprise and it's crew. I watched an episode this morning that I wanted to share a little about. This is the second part of my How To portion of my blog.

I have had a lot happen to me over the past week. I resigned from my position at my church and I am now, technically speaking, a free agent of sorts. The reason I did this is to grow in my faith in Christ to better myself for my ministry to students, as this is my life's calling of course. Last night, and this morning I have had a revelation of sorts.

Let me explain. Last night, there was communication to me that made me very upset. This was because it had to do with my church and I am guessing my wounds are still fresh. But let us look at the Star Trek episode this morning.

Here is the plot: Picture this if you will. The Enterprise is on course for a rendezvous at a star base in the Protaznic Sector. Oh, and here is what the Enterprise looks like...

The Enterprise is on course when they detect an anomaly with their computer sensors. Suddenly, the ship is being pulled by a 2-D gravitation and a life form that is unknown to the crew. While being pulled in the gravitation, the ship's counselor, who is a batazoid (a species that can read feelings and thoughts of those around them) loses her powers.

This is unique to her because she is half human and half batazoid. This whole experience is new to her because she has never had to rely on her human instincts alone. She had to depend on something she didn't know. However, as time passed, she learned to develop her skills and finally become functional again. In the end, (SPOILER ALERT), she gets her powers back, right before the ship is sucked into a black hole of sorts.

As she got her powers back, she learned that the life form was acting on instinct and they were going to a place that was common to them. It was their home, of sorts.

I look at Star Trek:TNG and I look at my current situation as a Christian and too often I try to depend on myself, something safe for me, and I don't try to step out and go where God needs me to be. I need to be on the front lines, however, when we look at where God wants and needs us to go, we often try to hide from God.

So the How To section of this blog? Secretly watch Star Trek: The Next Generation and then reveal it to the whole world you watch it and can most definitely apply it to your life.

The good word portion of this blog? Psalm 91:1 -Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Find your place in God. Find the comfort of life through the one that gives you life. Don't depend on yourself to find solace. Go to grow. What I mean is, go to your quiet place, where you can GROW in Christ and in prayer.

how to...

2010-03-09T12:00:00.001-08:00

I have had a lot of time over the last few days to really evaluate myself, my ministry, and my walk with Christ. When one looks at their own life, we look at the bad and the good. Sometimes we can have such rose colored glasses that we tend to miss on the opportunities that God gives us.

So for a while, I am going to do a How To blog series. I can only hope and pray that those who read this blog will read and understand that I am not telling you how to live your life. I will tell you from my own personal experiences about how I have lived my life and how God transformed my life to better myself for the things He has planned for me in the future.

Today's How To: How to not be religious but a follower.

Read with me the words from The Gospel according to John.
John 3:1-2

Now there was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a leader of the Jews. He came to Jesus by night and said to him, "Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God."

John 19:38-40

After these things, Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, though a secret one because of his fear of the Jews, asked Pilate to let him take away the body of Jesus. Pilate gave him permission; so he came and removed his body. Nicodemus, who had at first come to Jesus by night, also came, bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, weighing about a hundred pounds. They took the body of Jesus and wrapped it with the spices in linen cloths, according to the burial custom of the Jews.

Nicodemus is well known throughout the Gospel according to John. He was a very religious man and he came to Jesus in the night, asking about how to be a follower of Jesus. I believe that the story of Nicodemus is also well known because when we continue reading, we find a very famous verse, John 3:16.

Aside from one of the most recognizable verses in the Bible, most people seem to think that the spiritual journey of Nicodemus ends after chapter 3 where he leaves Jesus confused. This is not the case. Look at chapter 19 of John. We see that, after the death of Jesus, Nicodemus shows back up to help with the burial of Jesus. Nicodemus was a very religious man. However, he needed more than religion alone. When he comes to Jesus in chapter 3, Nicodemus is in search of something more. He needed to follow Jesus. We see this as evidence in chapter 19. Jesus gave Nicodemus the opportunity and He continues to give us the same opportunity even today.

When I first started in ministry, I was so excited about what I was doing that I became cocky. I tried everything to look good, but on the inside, I wasn't growing. The past few days, I believe that I have truly started a pattern of life that will change my ministry beyond all belief. God is in the business of the supernatural and some things can't be explained in the natural world. I believe the God is all powerful and loves me unconditionally. As I continue to seek Him and His direction for my life, I am no longer going to be religious in life. I will be a follower of Christ.

You're FIRED...

2010-03-01T07:05:00.000-08:00

Donald Trump. Vince McMahon. There are many tops CEO's in the business world today who get a kick out of saying, "YOU'RE FIRED!". In fact, there are some times when a friend and I joke about how to fire people with a little feeling as possible.

To end people's hopes and dreams would be terrible. It would be awful to tell people they are fired. However, what if instead we fire people, we fire them up. Why don't we try to get people excited as opposed to knocking down their dreams. Let's build them up.

Let's start out with prayer today. And I am going to try to be as real as possible with this blog post. In order to see some sort of growth in this world and in my or your own community is to be honest and build up people.

How often do you prayer for people when you say you will pray for them? Is prayer a cop-out for Christians to do no action? I was reading a blog of a pastor in South Carolina. He states that his church is doing a new series called "Practical Atheists". What is a practical atheist? Someone who says they believe in God, yet live their lives like HE does not exist.

How many people have been going to church for 10, 20, or even 30+ years and have never changed? It is because they say they believe in God but they don't want Him to impact their life.
Look at Acts 12:1-16. This is where one Apostle was killed and another was set free. Sometimes God delivers us from our trials and other times He let's us walk through them. However, the constant in all of this is GOD IS STILL GOD!

When people pray, and God says no. We all have this jacked up, legalistic theology that God owes us something and He should never say no to us. God does this out of love. He is not some genie we can just ask for something and with the wiggle of His nose and His head do a little motion and poof there is our prayer answer. No, GOD IS GOD and it is OK to say no to us!

Think of those who have children. You want the best for your child, even if they don't see it, you do. So some of you say no to your child for the better of your child. Even though they can't see it right now, you are showing them love.

There are things in this world that God says, "Don't pray, OBEY!" This is where God's word speaks clearly. For example, if you say you should pray about having sexual relations with someone you are not married to, is God going to tell you it is OK? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It is an EMPHATIC NO!

Christians use prayer as an excuse for inactivity. Let me ask you this question. Are you praying your way out of something you behaved yourself into? That came from the mouth of Andy Stanley. WOW!

Parents, you can not just pray your child into being a follower of Jesus. You must show it by example and you must be more passionate about raising disciples for Christ rather than the all star athlete! In order for my ministry to grow, I must be passionate about my ministry. I CAN NOT CONTINUE TO SIT ON MY HANDS AND MY KNEES AND NOT DO ANYTHING! I must live to my calling and be passionate about Christ in such a manner that this passion POURS into those around me and in my ministry. If I am not passionate about raising disciples of Christ, what am I even doing in ministry?

Scripture says that we must pray for those to be healed, whether it is physical, spiritual, or mental. A man can not tell me he can pray himself out of porn addiction. There is no way! There needs to be physical healing, mental healing and spiritual healing. It is going to take more than just him doing it too! Look at what scripture says we must do in James 5:16

Pray for those who need healing. Pray for those around you. But don't use prayer as a cop out for no action. Raise and be a disciple of Christ and LET CHRIST IMPACT YOUR LIFE. Don't be a "Practical Atheist"

the crazies...

2010-02-08T07:06:00.000-08:00

Last night, while watching the tail end of the Super Bowl, I saw a commercial for a movie coming out called "The Crazies". I thought to myself, "Wow. Has coming up with a title become that lazy?" Then another commercial came on and I kind of forgot about it. Yet, for some reason, that is the only commercial that sticks out in my head today. Also, the more I look at this title and resonate on it, I can see that the title "The Crazies" has infested our local church and the minds of many great Christians in sitting in the pews and chairs of the church today. Here is what I mean.

It is more often than none we, as Christians, prefer to visit God on Sunday's rather than having God invade our lives. How true is this statement? I find it amazing as a youth pastor that we have become so bleak to our mundane programs and our big events to cash in on the large numbers that we have forgotten the reason we are here in the first place. The reason I am here it to develop relationships that span more than just a student giving their life to Christ. I am here to live in the highs and lows of my students lives and to live their true fears and understand their hurt and be there with them during this hurt.

I forgot for a while to really let God invade my life. I was worried about low numbers, why I am not reaching students, this that or the other. I lost my focus on the why's of life and not the how. How I can I let God in my life more? How can God REALLY use me?

"Fishers of men is who Jesus said He would make us to be. (Matthew 4:18) If we are going to follow Jesus then our hearts must beat for the lost." If are hearts are not in the right place, we can never let God use us to our fullest potential. Readers, I pray that we can have a heart that does beat for the lost. If we are stuck on our visitation days with Jesus, when are we EVER going to let Jesus in?

We (the church) have a HUGE responsibility – we are here because we are personally responsible for the evangelization of the entire world before the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ. IF Jesus is really INVADING your life, then where is the evangelism? It is hard to find it sometimes because we are too timid and scared of those around us. Most everybody fears rejection, yet Jesus was rejected by the world, and even those who followed Him the closest, to open up the flood gates of what can revolutionize your eternity. We must step out in our faith and REALLY LET JESUS USE US! The church can not sit on the hymns of the 1800's and in the chairs of the contemporary services, we must step out and step up!

You want to know what I truly believe right now? I believe that there is a rising generation in the church that is more mission minded, more evangelical than ever before. I believe that the church is about to CHECK MATE the devil! The problem is that people are trying to protect themselves and those around them from what the world really is. I am not saying that everyone needs to grow up right away. What I am saying is that this generation that wants to help grow the church, we need to fuel the fire and the passion that Christ has given them! This morning this thought hit me, “HE SAVED ME!!!” And seriously…I could not get past it! I was blind but now I see, I was lost but now I am found, I was dead and now I am alive…ALL BECAUSE OF HIM!!! I’ve NEVER gotten past the cross…and am BLOWN AWAY because HIS GRACE REALLY IS FREAKING AMAZING!!!

battle...

2010-02-02T06:48:00.000-08:00

For years now, those of you whom have had the pleasure of knowing me that long, I have been in a constant war with Charter Communications. The first time, it was just with their service. Then their customer service. Then their internet service. Then their billing. Charter Communications should take out the communications part of their name because there has never been any form of communication in there existence. However, today February 2, 2010; I am waving the white flag. It is battle that I can never win, and though I am sure I can rally the masses, it still will not work. So today, I surrender my battle with Charter Communications. *Sigh*

However, it is a bittersweet ending to a LONG battle. So today as I write this blog post, I figure, even though I have given up my battle with Charter Communications, now it is time to pick up a new battle. I am ready for the fight, and I am ready to rally the masses. I will tell you my new battle towards the end of this blog post.

When I was a little kid, I was fascinated with castles and knights and all that good stuff! In fact, my lego collection was nothing more than all of the castles that the lego company made. I loved to imagine myself as a knight of the round table. In fact, it got SO bad that I would go outside and pretend to fight the air. My battle armor you ask? Well I would grab the lid of the tin trash can, my mom's garden gloves and tiny shovel (as my sword), some rain boots, a heavy coat for my armor, and a hat as my head protection or my Helm for those of you who are castle buffs.

As I put on my armor, I would pretend to be a knight at King Arthur's round table. I would look the part to the best of my ability and I would defend the king no matter what. I was going to die before he did! I would go in the back yard and pretend to be waiting for the enemy, who was coming from another rival kingdom. I would hide behind the tree and wait for my opportunity to pounce on them and catch them by surprise. Now picture this in your head if you can, a skinny little boy (yes I was skinny at one point) waiting behind a tree with a trash can lid, garden shovel, gardening gloves, a hat, a coat and rain boot. Ready for action. Ready for the proverbial battle of epic proportions. Can you picture it yet?

As soon as I heard the trod of the horses from the enemy kingdom, I pounced like a lion on it's prey! I jumped from the branch onto the ground. I would block one spear with my shield and stab the air as I pretended to kill another guard. It was a long battle, but alas I cam out victorious. I grabbed their king as prisoner and I took him back to the castle (my tree fort) and he awaited his sure death.

I had a pretty vivid imagination as a child. I loved to read about castles and just picture myself in such amazing buildings and surroundings. I loved to build the lego's as well, so I could put my imagination to real building. It was great!

Since then, my love for castles has died down some. I have fought real battles, well maybe real in my head (i.e. Charter Communications) and I have also fought real battles i.e. Sin. Yet, when I look back at my life before Christ and after Christ, the battles I have fought have become harder and longer. Some of them test me to my limits and others have been short and quick. Sin is the battle I will continue to fight. Just as I was when I was a kid, defending the king and I would rather die than let Him die; I feel it is the same premise here. I am defending my God against the battles that Satan puts before us. I fail in battle sometimes, yet I know with God's help, I will always win in the end.

My mentor Geoff Grubbs said it best in his facebook status update (and no I am not THAT bad of a stalker)

You cannot let God down, you are not holding Him up! He is holding you up, so you may let yourself and others down, but God loves you regardless, He promises!

Now, you may have been wondering about my new battle I am about wage upon. I know you are sweating bullets, on the edge of your seat, hair on the back of your neck (or back in Alex Stroud's case) is standing up. Well my new war is with..........................................................................................

104.7 the fish! This radio station claims to be a Christian radio station, and in fact they play the most current Christian pop as well. That is fantastic! Yet my problem with them is not the radio station as a whole, it is their slogan. "104.7 The Fish, Safe for the WHOLE FAMILY" WHAT!?!?! So if I am being mugged on the street, 104.7 comes to my rescue? Or if I walk into my house and see that my house has been robbed, all I have to do is call into 104.7 and they make it better? What kind of slogan is "safe and fun for the whole family"? They are not a warm blanket I can wrap myself in to make me feel better. In fact, a lot of songs they play are such pop Christian tunes that I generally switch to J 93.3 For those of you who don't know, 104.7 is a local radio station in Atlanta.

People, friends, random readers; Let's stand up for God and try to get 104.7 to change their slogan! Maybe if I rally enough people......maybe....

put a lid on it...I am

2010-01-26T10:38:00.000-08:00

I have had a really good day today. Let me tell you why today has been so good. Are you ready? I will wait for the hair on the back of your neck to settle, or if you are Geoff Grubbs the hair on your back because you have no hair on your head at all. Today, I have prayed for as many people as I can think of. I have been working hard on trying to get my life back to where I need to be.
As Mark Batterson and the Celtic Christians put it, I am chasing the wild goose of the Holy Spirit. Though I may never catch the wild goose, I know that it will take me places that I wouldn't think to go.
I started off today in a good mood because I just felt better about life. I had a positive look on today before the sun was up. I spent time and I went to my office in my apartment, I sat down in the ground and I prayed to God. I prayed for my day, for those closest to me, I prayed for my youth, for my fiance' and her kids at school, for my pastor, friends, family, my church, those churches whom I know the pastor at. I spent a very long time praying and it was very refreshing. The problem is, sometimes I don't think I know what I am praying for.
How often do we feel stuck praying for something? Those of you who read this blog and are in the ministry, we are too often stuck with praying for meals at family functions because we must be closer to God than everyone else. Do not get me wrong readers, I love to pray and do not have a problem at all doing it. But how often do we really understand what we are praying for or about?
I prayed, not too long ago, that I want to be so filled with the Holy Spirit that I can't contain it. I prayed that it would just be contagious to those around me and that a fire for God just start at this church. I basically told God, you know what Bring it on. I am ready. Well, I didn't know what I was in for. I challenged God and He has more than answered my prayer. However, I have not handled it the way I should have. I believe God was testing me to see if I could not contain the Holy Spirit that I challenged Him to give me. I got stressed and I shut down.
Friends, I want you to know that no matter what, Jesus is always there and will love you. He died for us to open up a relationship with us that transcends all understanding. I can't shut down when I get stressed. I can't do the things I feel are most important. What is most important is that I am performing for an audience of one. I am working for the one who died for me. I am in love with God more than anything else in this world. I just pray that those who start a relationship really push prayer and seek God's face, not His hands.

who versus how...

2010-01-20T07:42:00.000-08:00

Reading this book "Relationships Unfiltered" by Andrew Root is really kicking my butt. It is talking about incarnational and place sharing ministry. Let me explain myself here:
Incarnational ministry is what most people believe that ministry should be. To put it simply it is to love people as Jesus loved people.
Place sharing ministry is a form of incarnational ministry, yet it takes it a step further. We see that Christ came down to earth to dwell among us and to live and breathe and talk like humans. Jesus was fully human as He is fully God. He knows what it is like to be in the depths and pits of human life, but to also go so bold to be in the joyous parts of our lives as well.
Too often, pastors or youth pastors alike, and I am just as guilty as the next, paint a picture of Jesus as this man with a nicely trimmed beard, white robe, smile, pearly white teeth, and flowing, long conditioned hair. The only time we make the image of Jesus bloody and beaten is to bring the shock factor (i.e. Mel Gibson's The Passion of The Christ)
Let me pose this question to my blog readers: Where is Jesus' body buried? If we wanted to go visit His grave, where would we go?
I will give you a minute to think about this. Google it if you need to find the location. Ready for the answer?
The answer is the Christian faith is the Christian faith because we believe that there is no tomb, or at least there is no body in it. We believe that Jesus is alive today!
I am starting to believe that all theology, ministry and faith begins with the question of Who? Who are you? Who is this Jesus of Nazareth? Who is the one who heals? Who teaches with Authority? Who is this?
In the same way, I believe that the question How? is a question of disobedience. How is God present in Jesus? How can I be good? The problem with the how question is that even if you get a right answer, theres no need to encounter the living person of Jesus Christ.
Who is the better question here. Who is a question of encounter; it's a question that assumes Jesus Christ is still living and moving in our world, continuing in ministry, and encountering our person with His person. Who is about a relationship with Jesus Christ as living and still active in the world.
The question of how on the other hand is absent from encounter. It does not need a living Jesus. It is simply a theoretical question. How can be solved on a chalkboard and then walked away from. Who demands change and transformation.

Are you sitting here, being hit by these words I am writing? Are you sitting here wondering what the heck I am talking about? All I know is, I want to know WHO Jesus Christ is and not How He lived. I want to know the change of getting to know the person of Jesus as He becomes my person. The Who question makes Jesus Christ not a logo for our religion but a living person who encounters our own person.

Did you always want to be the person in school who attracted everybody? Did you always want to have that magnetic personality that everyone clung to, thought you were the coolest person, and you knew how to be attractive to people? I want to be the type of person who does not care about the latest trends and how to be cool with students. I want to be able to invite people and students into my life as they invite me into theirs. Step by step I want to show the students my love for God and be relational with them in a way that does not have a means to an end. This is a way that God and His ministry He placed before me will thrive.

Are you searching for WHO Jesus is or HOW He was?

making a significant connection...

2010-01-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

I am amazed at technology. Just sit back and think about how much power we can have, just at the tips of our fingers! If you turn on a light switch, and hoping that the power bill has been paid, we have electricity on demand. That is crazy, to think that in any dark area of my house, I can turn on a light and it not be dark anymore. And that is BASIC technology. Now we have super fast computers, we have touch screen mp3 players and cell phones. Technology has come a long way. Some may say that it connects us with the world and with everyone else. Facebook, for example, is a way to stay "connected" with friends and people that you didn't really hang out with in high school, yet you want to stalk them and see what their lives are like now.

It's funny to think about connections. We all have some sort of connections to the world. We have our family connections, friend connections, internet connections. We have all sorts of connections. God created us to have these connections too!

If we look at Genesis 2, we see God telling Adam to name all the animals. Now, up to this point, God had said that His creation was good. It was complete. However, when He saw how lonely Adam was, God said that it was incomplete. We thrive off of connections with others.

Adam did as God told him, and named all the animals. However, this was not Snow White where all the animals interacted with Adam, made his clothes, and sang songs. These animals did not care for Adam nor love Adam. He need companionship. So God laid Adam down, made him sleep, and during his sleep; God created Eve out of Adam's rib.

Adam was elated through this. Adam had someone to share his feelings and thoughts with. He could show her around, be with someone. Adam had made an instant connection. We must make a significant connection with those around us. We can not live a life outside alone. It will literally kill us!

Look back at the movie "Castaway". Great movie, and Tom Hanks creates himself a companion out of a volleyball. Does this matter to him? No, because he needed companionship. If he did not have it, do you think he would have survived on the island for 4 years? I don't think so.

So as we walk through this world, your community, and even your home; try to make those significant connections with those around us. It is then that we can plainly see that we need that same significant connection with Christ.

hypocrisy...

2010-01-12T11:20:00.000-08:00

Hypocritical. Two-Faced. Facade. Farce. Liar. Cheater. Disgusting. Sad. Sorry. Forgiveness. Woeful. Depressed. Anger. Ugly. Redemption.

Do any of these words resonate with you? Do any of these words hit you straight to the heart? I can say that at one time or another in my life, I can apply each of these words to a situation that has happened in the past. I am sure that I can find a specific event in my life that one of these words can describe said events.

Unfortunately for me, a lot of these words has been thrown around at others also. Why is it that when people are faced with the truth, we try to lesson the blow by displacing the blame on others? When we are caught in sin, do we not use the words we are human, or everyone else has done something worse? We always try to bump our sin down a notch so that the blow is not that big.

Let me tell you something readers, whether I take a pen from somebody or if I murder somebody, sin is still what separates me from God. I have been raised in a way that tells me that I should try to block the blows from people or just roll with the punches. In the end, I will be a better man because of it. People, this is just not the case. If we are "rolling with the punches" in life and not throwing our problems and joys and fears to God, what are we doing?

Christ and I share a relationship. It is a personal relationship where Him and I talk, we laugh, we cry, I read His word. Christ and I share what a true relationship should be. Christ has been with me through the muck and the mire. Christ has seen me at my peek of joy. Christ has walked miles with me in my shoes, or sandals for those who know me. However, why is it that I always try to make my sin OK? Why do I try to rationalize my behavior?

In my own life, recently as a matter of fact, I have seen a large amount of sin in someone close that I know. This person has betrayed HUNDREDS of people and has deceived possibly the whole world. This person has lied to me, his family, and everyone he knows to protect himself. However, when confronted with his sin, this person simply says that he is the first person to do it. Others have done worse than he has. He must be the only person in the world who has sinned against God. This person even told me that I am perfect because I point out their sin and not my own.

I don't understand it readers. I don't understand why people try to constantly berate you with the truth, and then we shrug it off like nothing happened. My plea to everyone who reads this blog today is to cast everything upon God. When we try to lesson the blow, what we fail to realize is that sin still separates us from God. It is sickening. When we displace blame on others, we are still guilty. Others have done worse things in our own eyes, but sin is separation from God. Sin is anything against God. It is all equal to Him. We, here on earth, have different levels of sin. Yet, Christ took that sin for all and we dare cast Him aside to make our sin less or appear less?

A true relationship with Christ, or with anyone, is when you share their fears and their joys. I may know somebody, but I don't really know who they are until I see them at their lowest and live it with them. I must be there and follow the great example Christ showed us on this earth. Christ talked with those who people thought He shouldn't talk to. Christ healed many that were deemed unhealable (made up word). Christ loved everyone, no matter their social status or their background. Christ came to know people for who they were. Why can't we follow this example? Why can't we man up and try to act as Christ did? I will be the first to admit I have fallen short in my life on many occasions. In fact, even as I type this blog, I know that I need my time with God. I always try to find the approval from the outer world. I am always trying to seek approval from those the approval does not matter. What matters the most is that I honor God in all that I do, say, think, pray, eat, see etc. I must honor God with all that I am. Christ has seen me at my lowest point. He has seen me at my highest. It is time to take THIS model of ministry and apply it to my life. I am still and will always learn what God has planned for me. Who knows what lies ahead. The only thing for me is that I see Christ for who He really is and I show that love and grace to the world of people that I encounter.

Maybe I should start a Waffle House ministry? I wouldn't be able to fit in the booth if that is all I ate, but there are all kinds of life that walk through those doors! God will bless me, but readers, pray that God blesses those around you and also to bless you! Pray that you share this personal relationship with Christ and that His love exudes through you so much that no one can deny that Christ is real. Let Christ live through us and let the Holy Spirit work in us to do a mighty work through us. Just remember these words, people don't care about how much you know until they know how much you care.

my stomach speaks...

2010-01-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

Today, I sit here writing this post as a way to inform people of how funny Christians act in certain situations. If you are a Christian, please take a minute and look around at your life. Do some of you have the fish symbol on your car, yet yell at traffic when they won't do what YOU want? Do others have the tshirt on that says, "Body Piercings Saved My Life" and on the back it has pictures of Jesus' hands that were nailed through. Or yet, one of my favorite tshirts is " abreadcrumb and fish" playing off of an obbious abercrombie and fitch shirt.
It is so funny how we try to turn anything that is in pop culture and make it Christian. Why do we do that? The other day I heard a The Fray song on the Christian radio station here in Atlanta. Really 104.7? The Fray? They are in no way Christian yet we always try to turn pop culture Christian to keep up with the times and to be more hip and popular.

I can't say I am not as guilty as the next person. I have a bunch of tshirts with Christian sayings, I listen to Christian music. I am the most generic Christian if there ever was one. Here is another thing Christians do; when you go to camp, what is one of the meals you can always expect? Lasagna! That's right readers, the pasta is always the way to go. It is cost efficient, feeds close to 5000 and serves its purpose for food. I think of all the trips I have been on, pasta is a general norm in the Christian camp scenes.

This blog post, however, is not to bash on the Christian culture, that is ever changing with the times and we are just trying to keep up. This post is to bring out some of the crazy ideas that we have as Christians, yet one thing is still constant. Jesus Christ is always constant, He has never changed, nor will He. Yet, we try to form Jesus in this image of a white man with a beard and a white robe who loves hugs, high fives and drives a hybrid car with the cross sticker in the window and the fish symbol on the back left. Why do we do this so much? Why do we have to turn Jesus into something He is not? Jesus can relate to anyone and can love everyone, but we try to manipulate the way He is and the image of Him to fit the different scenes of the social system of the world. Jesus is not Tony Hawk. Jesus could probably to a 1080 spin in the air on a skateboard if He so desired, but He probably wouldn't.

Too many times, I walk down the street and can easily see the offense that others see in this world. Our problem is we are not communicating Christ to those who need to hear it. We are communicating salvation and then dumping them off into a church or a group that loves God. That is fantastic, but how many people can sit around and say that if we had never been to church, became a believer, entered into a relationship with Christ, and then was thrown to the lions den of a church service, that we would know what was going on?

The way we communicate Christ today is almost shameful. Some of us are so intent on getting souls saved, but not worrying about them after that we lose more people that way. Why do we always come across so brash and hypocritical? People who are not believers sit around and wait for the Christian to mess up, then we brush it off saying we are not all perfect and we will sin occasionally etc. This is a mess! We need to get our focus on something and someone who has been constant this whole time. God! He has never changed, nor will He. If He did, He would not be God!

So the next time you see a shirt that says "King of Kings" under two hamburger buns, that looks like the burger king symbol, please ask what that really means. Is Jesus a burger joint? Is Jesus relative to fast food in any way? How does that relate to someone who never knew God or did not care to know God?

And last, but surely not least, please 104.7 The Fish (A Christian radio station here in Atlanta), do not play any more pop songs that have nothing to do with Christ. Just because we can find a Jesus meaning in most things, does not mean that one is there.

As I step off my soap box, put on my Christian shirt and walk out of this room, I hope you will take a second to find out who the true God is. Underneath all the pop culture, white robe, bearded man we see Jesus as, find out who He really is. Can you also find a way to communicate His love to someone without having a means to an end by just getting them saved? Can you communicate Christ in a way that establishes a true relationship with someone where you know their fears and their joys?

a ministry of influence...

2010-01-05T06:39:00.000-08:00

Influence is a powerful thing. As we look at the word of influence, we can see it as many things. Influence can be a bad thing. It can lead to good things. However, if we are trying to just squeak by in our Christian relationships by just influencing people, we are going to get nowhere in the world of ministry or the advancement of the Kingdom of God.

There have been many "influential" people in this world that have motivated major movements in the history of the earth. We have such "influential" people like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. This man influenced an entire generation to change their views on the worth of human life. Many other men and women throughout history have done many great things to change the thinking and perspective of how people live their lives. My question is simple, was Jesus one of these influential people?

"Influence" comes from the Latin, "influere" which means "to flow into". Did Jesus simply "flow into" the lives of many people and change their perspective of life? I would like to submit that He did not.

Jesus walked among us, being fully God and fully human, to live and breathe amongst the people of earth. He came to bring a message of hope, love, and grace. Jesus brought to us a new life. He did not show us this by simply convincing a few people to change the world. He showed us His love by dieing and raising from the dead. Christ showed love and compassion to all. He offered us this love and compassion in a life that was not centered on the things of this world, but the things of Heaven.

Mark Batterson wrote in his blog earlier about identifying idols in out lives.
So how do you identify an idol? Here are four idol identifiers:

1) What consumes your thoughts? Your daydreams are idol clues. If it's something you think about more than God then it may be an idol.

2) What bad habits do you struggle with? Your addictions are idol clues. An idol is something you cannot control. It controls you.

3) What do you spend too much money on? Your spending habits are idol clues. Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also!

4) What produces your strongest emotions? Your intense emotions are idol clues. If you want to identify an idol, all you have to do is identify your emotional attachments.

Identifying an idol takes a tremendous amount of soul searching. And you have to be brutally honest. But you cannot tear it down until you name it.

When we join in on the ministry of influence, we see the person of influence as idols in out lives. Look at these 4 steps Mark wrote about. Can we see how following those who have a ministry of influence are idols? Now do not go and send me emails or comments about the people who have changed history. I acknowledge what they did was great and how they did the things during their time period was just as great. But let's look at Jesus, who was the ultimate rebel of His time and how He did not live a life of influence, but a life of love and place-sharing.

When you have a relationship of influence, the point of the relationship is to move the person past the bond of you and that person. It is the means to an end. Having a place-sharing relationship means to stand in fully for the person. This does not mean to where the person takes no more responsibility for their lives, but in a manner that joins people in existence and invites them to share in ours.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a pastor and a theologian who was arrested during the Nazi regime during WW2. During this time, Dietrich was sentenced to death at a concentration camp. The concentration camp was a few days journey from where he was sentenced to death. During the time of travel from Berlin to the concentration camp, Bonhoeffer befriended a Russian solider. The two became friends and while they were in the back of a truck for many hours, since the trip was a few days from Berlin, the solider began to teach Bonhoeffer Russian.

It came to be the night before they were going to die. All of the prisoners had figured it was too late for the Allied Forces to come in a save the day, so Bonhoeffer stood up and asked all the other prisoners to partake in worship and communion. As almost everyone agreed, Dietrich looked at his new friend, the Russian solider, whom refused to partake in the communion. He was an atheist and a communist. The Russian felt it would go against everything he knew and believed in. Dietrich sat down beside the Russian solider and said that he was not going to partake of it either. For if his friend would not take it and Bonhoeffer did; he would not only be denying his friend but he might have been denying God as well.

Can we see from this true story that having influence only leads past the bond, but to an end. Here we can see the Dietrich, being a pastor and theologian, sat with his new friend during the end of their lives. In the final hours, he did not deny him; he stood and sat there with him. Readers, my challenge to you and myself is to simply live beyond what we know. We must live for Christ, who has opened up that relationship for us. Christ has offered eternal life and His relationship with us and vice-versa is not the means to an end. For those who love and accept Christ and live for Him and be a disciple of Christ will live forever in eternity with Christ. Move past being influential and be in a position of place-sharing.

the first blog...

2010-01-04T09:59:00.000-08:00

This is my first blog post of the new year. Feels kind of weird. Not like a "I am so nervous I am going to pee my pants" weird; more of a fresh new can of tennis balls. How many readers out there love to open a fresh new can of tennis balls? When I open up the can of fresh new tennis balls, it smells awesome. It reminds me of the new car smell. So I guess, to this point of my blog post I am just about to open the fresh new can of tennis balls. Are you ready to pull the tab and smell those awesome chemicals?!

Now that was an odd way to start off the new year and the first blog post of the year. It feels strange that we are here in this place today. Outside the ski is blue, clouds are white, and the air is about -30 degree's but it is still another day to live and breathe the word of God.

I feel like we should all gather around a camp fire, grab our snuggies, and just talk with each other. Over the past week, I have been on a visit to the ER, seen several people crash on a ski slope, and have watched the eyes of the youth open up to a world almost new to them. I have seen my eyes open to a whole new perspective of ministry for the new year. Want to know what it is? We are just about to tear off the tab of the tennis ball can. Ready?

Relational ministry has been a facade in the church for years. What do I mean by this? Well, as ministers who work in the church we are supposed to be relational with those around us. However, I feel that the church has had the intent, for a long time, of using a relationship to have people turn their lives over to Christ. Therein, using their salvation as a means to an end. Sometimes, we in the church only care about the numbers of people saved and baptized, which are both great, don't get me wrong.

Why do we always have to have an agenda for something when it comes to relationships? True relational ministry should not have a means to an end. The relationships you form with those around you should be a TRUE relationship. In order to really know a person for who they are, we must walk with them in their shoes. A true relationship is defined as knowing somebody as well as yourself. You know their fears, their heart, their joys, their pains, they sorrow, their melancholy areas of life. We must also experience these times with them also.

For years, I have been trained to think that I must filter through relationships with one goal in mind, the salvation of the person. It was always my intent to sit down and form a great relationship with somebody, only to try to turn their life to God. I should be a disciple of Christ, but do you think Christ came down to this earth for the sole purpose of a means to an end? Absolutely not! Christ came to this earth to live amongst us, to bring us to salvation, but to live with the people and know them and have their same fears, joys, laughs, cries etc. Christ was fully God but He was also fully human.

This is not to put down the passion of those who want to do relational ministry. This post is to simply inform us to think outside our box for just a minute. This post is to get you to ask questions about the daily life we lead. Do we always live for God? Why is it we most always have a purpose to get to know somebody? Is it because they have something we want or may need later? Are we just looking for a favor or to REALLY know the person?

As a Minister of Youth, I can not sit here and tell you that I am doing the best at relational ministry. I think that the youth in my youth group have a good understanding of who I am, where I have been, what I like and don't like. Maybe they know even my weight. However, do they really know me as a person. Do they know that sometimes I cry myself to sleep because of what is going on through my parents right now? Do people know the real me? This also begs the question, are you being real with yourself and those around you? Are you hiding aspects about your life to those who you want to hide them from? People may not know the best thing about you, or your joys, or your laughs, fears or anything else about you.

My question to you today is, are you being relational with those around you? Are you striving to honor God in being a disciple? Are you becoming friends with the new person at church or in your office or at school simply because you have a means to an end?

Have you opened the can of tennis balls yet? Do you smell the aroma? Can you picture how they are new and fresh? Open the heart of your true self and let Christ be revealed through all you do. Honor and glorify Him so that is shines through. Don't get to know people just because you want something they can offer you. Get to know the real person and who that person really is. It is then that we can disciple them and show them the grace an forgiveness that Christ offers to all.

walking on water...

2009-12-23T07:36:00.000-08:00

How many of you readers have ever found a song you love so much that you can listen to it over and over again? Or for those who hate listening to the same song twice, how many of you found a movie or tv show you love so much that you can watch is over and over again? Throughout our lives, we tend to pick things that are our favorites; i.e. favorite band, favorite food, favorite dance, favorite color etc. We have lots and lots of favorites. It also begs the question, what is your favorite favorite?

Sure, we can pick a favorite favorite! What tops every favorite more than the other favorites of your life? Is it funny to anyone else that we often pick our favorites of everything, but so often they change? It is called the flavor of the week. Most people tend to take on the trend of the media, and let the media dictate who to hate and love.

I was talking with a very good friend of mine recently and he mentioned that the trend he is noticing on teenagers today is that the youth of today are becoming expert grocery shoppers. They go to the store when they need something, but only pick the few items they need, pay and then leave. He says that youth are becoming grocery shoppers of faith. All to often, youth are berated by the media about what and who to like. What is in and what is out. Whats hot and whats not. Not only youth, but we as Christians tend to pick our favorite parts about God and leave the rest for someone else. We then go the the church to pay for everything we want, and maybe not need, and then leave for the rest of the week to live off of what we just had to have. Does anyone else notice this trend?

What is your favorite thing about God? What is the hardest thing to love about God? According to the Barna group, 87% of American's from ages 10-25 say they believe in God but do not practice a life style that is fulfilling to the Bible or that they do not share a relationship with Him. This astounds me. How much picking are we doing? Why are we such picky people? One thing in my life I can not be picky about is God.

My favorite song by audio adrenaline is "Walk on Water". I have no clue why it is, but I love the beat and it lifts my spirits when I listen to it. It is a great song and I just love it. It talks about having faith and if we keep our eyes on Jesus we will be able to walk on water too. What a great vision to have. The problem is, I need to keep my eyes only on Jesus and not the things of this world.

Fellow readers and bloggers alike, let us unite our eyes on Christ and search for Him in this world as we remember His birth, but look at His return to earth. In the words of another favorite song by David Crowder* Band, Oh Happiness, "Oh Happiness! There is grace enough for us and the whole human race." God's grace that is offered to us and everyone is enough, but we must have our faith and our eyes on Jesus, because then we, too, can walk on water.

(note to the readers: I have totally tried to walk on water, exclaimed to God I had enough faith to do so, and fell right through. Try this and see if you walk on water. If not, what can we do to increase our faith in Christ?)

befuddled...

2009-12-22T06:58:00.000-08:00

The other day, I was sitting on my couch, trying to let the time pass by. As I wandered aimlessly through the channels, almost numb to what was on because I was flipping through as fast as the digital cable box would let me, I decided to order and OnDemand movie. I flipped through the many different types of movies, I came across Year One, starring Jack Black and Michael Cerra.

This movie looked funny when it was in theaters but I did not think much to go see it because movies cost me my front left tire to go see now. I pressed the order button and began a new cinematic experience. This movie is about Jack Black, who plays a person near the beginning of the earth. He is a horrible hunter and an awful gatherer. He is no use to his village. So he decides to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He suddenly begins to start thinking outside the box. He starts to questions things.

"Why is this fruit? Why do we eat fruit? How can we speak to each other so that we can understand one another? Why do we wear clothes? What is this fur?" He continues to ask questions about life and how he doesn't understand how it all came to be.

I sat and watched this movie, laughing sparsely at the weird and crazy antics of Jack Black, and thought to myself, "You know, how often do we question our surroundings? How often do we really try to think deeper than just the normal aspects of our lives?" As I went into this deep thought, it was time for me to leave and I could not finish the movie (which I hope to do after today).

We can learn a little from Jack Black's character in the movie. How often do we really question what is going on around us? Are we so blind to the world that we just let life pass by without really questioning the wonders of God's creation or why we live here and not somewhere else? Have you ever wondered why we really exist? Are we all connected in some form or fashion? How is God really in everything?

I was told as a youth that is OK to question God. In fact, God does not want us to live inside this bubble of a life. Christ wants us to grow more in knowing and trusting in Him. When we question God and the things of this life He has placed before us, we can seek out God's answer for us. Too often, we see people trying to find happiness in their own lives, that we too often forget the world that Christ has surrounded us with.

Recently, I learned a lot of new information about my father, Steve Ashby. As I looked up to this man for my whole life, my hero, I have seen that he has now fallen to the ground. I often get the image in my head of the Saddam Hussien statue falling off of it's stand, because the tank pulled it down (see picture for reference).

This happened when America invaded Iraq. It was the downfall of a statue. It was the sign of the times changing. People, this blog post is a shout to wake up. We must pursue the Holy Spirit.

Mark Batterson, an author and pastor, writes about the fact that we forget to find the chase of the Holy Spirit. We too often forget that we must follow the Holy Spirit wherever it leads us, and not when it is most convenient to us.

Befuddled is a funny word. It means to be confused. I am often confused about where the Holy Spirit will lead me next, but I do know that Christ has a plan and a path laid out for me. There will be times I will walk my own path and times I will follow the path Christ has laid out for me, however; during these times, I know that Christ will always be with me. I am befuddled about the Holy Spirit, I am befuddled about my surroundings and where Christ is in my life, but most importantly, I know that my JOY and happiness come from Christ.

i feel the need, the need for speed...

2009-12-15T10:27:00.000-08:00

The title of this post is a quote from a very famous, very awesome movie. It stars the loveable and tiny Tom Cruise. He is a fighter pilot for the Navy. He flies planes all over and blows things up. He has a best friend, nicknamed Goose. His nickname is Maverick. Know what movie I am talking about? For those of you who live under a rock and have never heard of the movie I am writing about, it is simple. Top Gun. Enough said. Theoretically I can end the blog post here. Top Gun is a great movie. One of my favorite lines from this movie, I try to apply to my life. I feel the need, the need for speed. Mostly I use this when I am driving down the interstate at....well for the law people who could be reading this, an accelerated rate of speed.

Right now, do you know where you are? We are right in the middle of the Christmas season. Through this season, we try to get through it and we go for speed to get things done. Well, why don't slow down and smell the poinsettias? Christmas is for Christ and we need to slow down and let God be God during this season. During this season, as we focus on the birth of Christ and we celebrate that Christ came to earth; let's turn our focus on the second coming of Christ. How can we prepare for the second coming?

Is this a blog post about the end times and that the end is near because 2012 is coming and the myan calendar is always predicted things....absolutley not. This is a post about using the speed that God gives us to further the Kingdom of Heaven. We must act in a haste, because the Bible states that the second coming of Christ shall be like a thief in the night.

1 Corinthians 9:24 (New International Version)

²⁴Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Christ is the prize and we are not using the speed we should to catch up to Christ. Why are we not running the race in such a way to get the prize? How can I run this race better? Maybe if I didn't procrastinate, maybe if I gave more thought to others, maybe if I spoke in a manner that was in loving and not condescending, maybe if I loved as Christ loved me, then and only then can I reach the prize.

I do have the need, the need for speed. I have the need, the want, the desire to chase after a God I know is real. He has changed me in such a way that He can only be real. I know that I am not chasing after a mirage in the desert. I see Christ as the prize, and I will run the race.

Even if I wear my nasty sandals, which everyone knows I wear even to this very minute right now. I will run the race until I reach the ultimate goal of honoring Christ in all that I do. I may not finish first, because let's be honest, I am fat and lazy, but I do know one thing. I can roll over that finish line. Maybe I can bounce. Or maybe, just maybe, I can run as hard and as fast as I can in my air moses (as seen below) and win the race and get the prize, Christ.

And for all those who want to know what my air moses' are. Well, look below:

Nice. Don't be jealous of these fly sandals that I have had for years and years. Know this, even if my feet stink at the end of the race because these sandals are so old, I will have at least finished the race and honored a God who love me for honoring Him.

overrated...

2009-12-07T11:26:00.000-08:00

Last week I wished I was Michael Keaton. You want to know why? Last week was one of those weeks where everything comes crashing down on you at once and you have no plan of attack. Last week was the week from..hades! Satan really got my gun and it wore me slap out. By Tuesday, I was ready for my life to be over so I could go and meet Jesus early!

Now you are probably reading this and going, huh, I wonder why Mark would want to be Michael Keaton? Well let me burst your thought bubble and explain why. Last week, I had about 4000 things to do on my desk and no plan of attack for them. I was caught WAY off guard, even though I knew in the back of my head what I had to do. Micheal Keaton was victim of this as well. He had so much to do and he figured, well if I can be at 2 places at once, I would get twice at much done. So he cloned himself. And not just once, when he figured this plan would work, he cloned himself again and again. This movie was called Multiplicity. Though I have never seen the movie, the idea seemed great.

And then we move into the weekend. Let me just preface this by making this statement: I have learned a lot about talking smack too early. That being said, the football weekend was awesome. There were several plays at the end of the games that would make me want to jump up and scream. And of course, my Falcons disappointed me when we couldn't even move our offense down the field.

All that being said, the title of this blog post is overrated. You see, when I looked at Florida's football team, and my pure hatred for Alabama, well I thought it was a no brainer. However, much to my dismay, Alabama won the SEC championship and is now going to play for the national title. I hate to say it, but Nick Saban is a good coach. But I want to look back at Tim Tebow a little. His team and him have looked unstoppable at times. However, the mighty have fallen.

Sometimes in my life, I like to think of myself as on top of the world. In my career and life, I look only to strive to be the best. However, when we get so bogged down with the things of the world we tend to forget about Jesus and the life that He has given us. One thing I do know is that Christ has never been nor ever will be overrated.

When I looked at Facebook on Saturday night, after the SEC championship game, I saw so many people making fun of Tim Tebow crying after they lost. Well, I know one thing, if I were in his position, I would do the same thing. But my question to the readers of this blog is simple, why can't we have a passion for Christ like we do for football or for something else in our lives?

I tend to put things of the Christian world on the back burner. I tend to want to be the friend rather than the youth pastor sometimes. Why do I always put Christ on the back burner? Where is my passion for Christ? Where in my life do I sit on the edge of my seat to wait to see what happens next? Is this only during football games, or should this passion be directed elsewhere?

I can look at football and relate because it has always been part of my life. Why do I wake up some days and just want to go back to sleep? I have seemed to displace my passion for only the things in the world and not out of this world where they can not be destroyed. You see blog readers, my life needs to be a passion for Christ. I need to take a step back and have an out of body experience where I can look at myself through God's eyes. I need to have that passion from within that makes me cheer when something great happens. That makes me leap when someone scores on for the Kingdom; that makes me cry when someone loses; that makes me get goosebumps when I hear something of God.

The common facebook status I saw was, And Tebow Wept. Well you know what, Tebow did cry for his passion for the game. Our passion for Christ should make us cry as well. How often do we look at our lives and the things going on for the Kingdom and cry? My challenge to you and to myself is to look at our lives and find that passion that drives us to the point of tears. Make the Kingdom of Heaven shout and jump and sing in celebration for the way we are winning souls for Christ.

say what...

2009-12-01T07:02:00.000-08:00

This morning, as I lay on the couch trying to half watch a TV show and sleep, I went to my DVR to find something good. As I turn to the DVR menu, I see that one of my favorite shows, "Family Guy", was recorded. Since it being 6 AM and nothing else is on except ads for the magic bullet (which I want for Christmas to all those who read and want to know what to get me), I pressed play to watch the show.

This week, the show revolved around Brian the Dog. He has written a book and received a letter in the mail that said he was to get an award for his book. Little does he know, that this award was made by people who were "special" and they loved the book because of its simplistic writing style. On the way home, after having a few, Brian hits a dog and kills it. He tries to cover it up and bury the dead dog's body in the ground. Stewie, the evil baby genius, sees this and tries to make Brian feel bad about this and tries to make Brian scared. So eventually Brian confesses to the murder of another Dog and everyone laughs at him because it is basically one animal killing another. This is natural. Brain feels outraged because he feels as though animals are mistreated and not considered as valuable life.

The whole point of this show is to show that there is value in life in everyone. As I look into the depths of my life, I look into those who are closest to me by relation. I am seeing some lines being drawn and many walls being built up. Life gets ugly when we take out the value of another person.

So many times I walk down the road and I get stuffy and if I see someone begging for money or food, I walk the other way. What kind of signal am I sending to those who need help? I can offer something to these people, who may not even know who Christ is. I walk around as a light that is a city on a hill. I can not be put out. Yet, I am the one trying to cover the windows so the light does not shine through.

Why do we so often hide our inner thoughts and feelings about Christ? Why are we so scared to be intentional and relational with ALL those who are around us? As I see the walls in my own family being built up and lines being divided by those who I never thought would do so. It is sad to see where my life with my family is headed, however, I know that God has bigger plans for me.

As I look ahead to the future, I see promise and success for what God has placed on my heart. I am here on this earth to do one thing, advance the Kingdom of God with the gifts I have been given. It is time to be intentional and authentic. I will stop avoiding those who need help and be relational with all those around me. Christ has made me as a city on a hill that the light can not be put out.

laziness is what I long for...

2009-11-30T11:54:00.000-08:00

What a week, blog readers! This past week has been an emotional roller-coaster for me; from being on a youth ministry high I got from a youth ministry conference, to being do depressed you just don't want to move. This week has been nuts. You know what though, God has really fired me up today. I have been on the ball about things. There has just been something about me today that when I look in a mirror, I think to myself, "Nice." I think it's fair to say I got my swag back, and I found some of it in my swag bag from the NYWC (National Youth Workers Convention for the lay person).

Not that I have not embarrassed myself enough on this blog, for the whole world to see....(what have I gotten myself into), I am going to share a part of my life with you that has defined the past 4 years of my ministry. To give you a back story of my life to this particular point in the history of Mark Ashby, I have only ever committed to things I really found interest in. This may strike a chord with a few of the readers out there, but the other things I "tried" at, I just didn't give my full effort because I didn't care. It's like a baby, the baby is good at sleeping and cries when it needs food or a diaper change. The things I "tried" at were just my diaper changes.

So here I am, a huge man of about 90lbs and 12 years young and I am ready to take on the world. My older brothers set a lot of the tone and path for my life. They were both boy scouts and in fact one of them made it to Eagle. Pretty impressive...for his resume. Mine, not so much. My stint in scouts lasted about 2 days. My reasoning, I didn't want to cook my own food or set up my own tent and be embarrassed, so I quit 2 days in. Remember that little thought bubble that pops in my head when I look at the mirror, "Nice."

Well, that is quite embarrassing. You see, I have not committed fully to the power of the Holy Spirit. How many times in your life have you sat down, wanting to do something, and only give it a half effort because of one reason or another? Why do we always make excuses only to maintain our lives and not pursue the goal?

Fellow readers and bloggers alike, I have been put to shame. You see, at this youth ministry conference I saw a 16 year old boy who has helped change the world and has even written a book. HE IS ONLY 16! This is amazing and his ministry is incredible.

As Christians we need to step our game. We need to have a place and a time where we quit maintaining our lives and let God be the leader. Let God be the best guide for us as we step out of the laziness of our lives.

stopping by the woods on a snooo...

2009-11-25T08:54:00.000-08:00

So there I am. Standing in front of 60 parents, all who are there to hear me dominate my other classmates. As I stood there I froze. I was a nervous wreck. I took a step back, cleared my throat, walked towards the mic and said, "Stopping by the Woods on a Snoooohh." I look down and to my dismay, I have peed my pants in front of 60 people and all my classmates. So much for winning the top prize, so much for all the hard work, all I needed now was a new pair of pants and probably a change of country would have been nice as well. I actually did it. I couldn't believe myself. So a new pair of sweat pants, button up shirt, and clip on tie later I sat back down on stage. At the end of it all, I won third prize, because I wet my pants.
Oh, and just so you know this is all back in first grade during my "Poetry Week". It's all true and it really happened. The prize I won was a kite, which my older brother surely destroyed as soon as I opened it.

Why am I telling this really embarrassing story? Well the reason I blog about it, to the whole world, is because right now, at 11:59 A.M. the day before thanksgiving, I am feeling vulnerable. I feel sick. The things I once knew are now not there anymore and it hurts my heart and spirit to see everything fall apart before my eyes.

My life has been changed because of my parents going through a divorce. However, as I cast everything onto Christ, I look at the strength of one of my parents. This parent has become more and more grounded each time I talk to them. It strengthens me to do this. I am only so blessed to be where I am today.

My other side of me is hurting for the other. I have pain for both, but my loyalties seemed to have shifted. A good friend told me that it is not about me. This is between them, yet I still feel like I am in the middle. I pray that no one knows this pain.

Through all of this vulnerability, I am able to stand firm on the one thing. Though the house may have been broken down for lack of care to it, my foundation in Christ is as solid as ever. Christ has shown me many things and has opened up great discussion with my students, my girlfriend, and many others. I have been able to find perspectives from all different avenues of life. God has really made me stronger, even though I feel vulnerable to it.

Christ said that I will do greater things than He. I firmly believe that Christ has blessed me and will continue to do so. Though my family is in disarray and everything seems to be falling harder and faster each time I get a phone call about something, I see that Christ has still done many great things.

Through our weakness, Christ can shows us a new way to lean on Him and try to grow and understand His plan for us more and more. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable.

Also, as thanksgiving approaches, know that I am praying for those who read this blog. It is a blessing to be able to somehow keep a small memoir of my thoughts on the internet for all to read. Christ has done many things and greater things are yet to come!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and may God bless the table you are at.

time after time...

2009-11-24T05:19:00.000-08:00

I had an epiphany this morning around 5:39. I was falling asleep to my TV on, and you know when you are in the stage between a dream and reality you are pretty sure you can see or hear anything and you can sort-of react to it? Well that happened to me this morning. My epiphany is so incredible that I must share with with my readers, or just me because I may be the only person who reads my own blog.

So there I was, half dreaming and half awake and I sit up. The TV was on an 80's movie that probably speaks to the heart and life of every person who has ever seen it. You know what movie I am talking about....."Howard the Duck"! This is such a great movie! It has a live action duck, who is transported from his home planet, which is inhabited by what else than anthropomorphic ducks, to planet earth. It is here that Howard meets a struggling singer named Beverly. Howard and Beverly start a hilarious comedy team as they travel around with "Cherry Bomb", who else but Beverly's band, and they encounter the Dark Overlord, who is the bad guy and the only way Howard can go back to his home planet.
So what happens next? Well Beverly gets captured and Howard and some scientist, played by the great Tim Robbins, comes in and blow up the overlord. The only problem, Howard can no longer go back to his home planet. So what is an anthropomorphic duck to do? Only what any other anthropomorphic duck would do, become the band manager for "Cherry Bomb", Beverly;s band. He also PROMOTES the scientist, Phil, from being a scientist to an employee of the band! All is well in the world of Howard the Duck and the year of 1986.

Now what does all that have to do with anything? Being in the trance of half asleep and half awake, I slowly came to the realization, that I needed to change the channel. However, when I started to finally come back to reality, and realized that the movie I was watching was not some really crazy dream about a duck-man named Howard, that we as Christians tend to be half awake and half asleep when it comes to the things of the Gospel.

I am no great mind of the Christian world, and I surely can not write like the champions of the book world, but I do know one thing. My relationship with Christ is what matters the most and it is about time I WAKE UP. Look at Howard the Duck, the whole movie his mind was set elsewhere. Not on the things of this world, but on the things of another. His focus was to try to get home. Some of us, including myself, are so infused with our own lives, that we let our minds wander.

Howard the Duck can be considered a philosophical person, or duck-man, in my book. Right up there with the greats of Socrates, Sir Isaac Newton, and Elmo from Sesame Street. Our mind's need to be focused on the things of Christ, a Kingdom mindset, rather than the things of this world. We should be focusing on spreading the gospel to many around us. Howard's message was simple, (and I quote) Howard T. Duck: "That's it, no more Mr. Nice Duck". WOW! Words of wisdom from a fictional duck. But you know what readers, it is true. It is time that we not be so passive with our thoughts on things and time we stand up for what Christians believe in this world. It is time we wake up from our half slumber and open our eyes to the glory and grace that Christ has to offer all. It is time that we, Howard T. Duck: "No one laughs at a master of Quack Fu!"

Don't laugh at the Master anymore. He created us in His image to be creative in a way that we can all share the gospel to anyone. Here is an example from my good ole' memory bank. I was sitting on a bus at Auburn, and a guy came in and sat next to me. The bus was full that day. He sat down and I began to play with my phone because I didn't feel comfortable sitting next to people I don't know. He looked over and saw that him and I shared the same kind of phone. We talked about our phones, which was one of 300 I have owned in my life (ask me about it later if you see me), and that opened up a conversation about the church I was attending at the time. The next Sunday night, he came. Now I don't think he came much more than that, but the night he came it was an opportunity for him to hear the gospel from a much better speaker than myself.

God can open up anything and make it relevant, we must simply have a Kingdom mindset so that His knowledge and grace overflows into our cups so that we can pour into others.

Oh, and for those of you who were wondering what my epiphany was this morning, it was this: I need to make sure I turn on the heat somewhat in the winter because I woke up shivering from the cold and it is OK to spend a little more money for my comfort in my own home. Bet you didn't see that coming!

sack of potatoes...

2009-11-23T09:09:00.000-08:00

Have you ever started to cross the street at a busy intersection? You are looking both ways, making sure no cars are coming and waiting in anticipation for the walk sign to turn to that little man that's not red, so we can cross "legally". After the light turns, you start to walk, and boom you faceplant on the ground in front of a lot of cars and the people walking beside you and now walking on you?

The reason for my visual of crossing the street and busting like a sack of potatoes is simple, in the ministry, we tend to be those people that walk all over the person who fell. However, this weekend, I was really inspired by a lot of great speakers at the National Youth Workers Convention presented by Youth Specialties. I got a chance to step outside of the box of my office, and step into a world where people were hurting just as I was, having troubles like me, and also going there to get a lot of free tshirts. My swag bag was so heavy this first day, I am pretty sure I lost 4lbs just by lugging it to the car.

At this conference, and at many conferences like this, a lot of people go into the conference with the mindset for the quick fix. A lot of people go in thinking that there has to be a new way, and a simpler way to do youth ministry. I went into the conference thinking that I was going to find THE ONE THING that will change my ministry around. During the whole experience I encountered three things that I will know for the rest of my life:
1. You have to have some sort of facial hair to be a youth pastor. I am pretty sure if you took all the facial hair from all the youth pastors at the convention, including some of the girls, then you could give the world a hairy belt.
2. Skinny jeans are apparently the new craze. I know one thing is for sure, if skinny jeans are the key to youth ministry, I will never live up to my potential.
3. The most important thing I learned was simply this, connect with the kids and be relational with them. It is that simple.

These are things I already knew, yet it meant a lot to hear it from the champions of youth ministry. Reggie Joyner spoke last night and stated that we need to check our systems for updating. If we come to the conference next year and nothing has changed, what did you do with what you learned?

This weekend, I was shown a light into my own ministry and my own life. I can not pour out into the lives of students, if God is not overflowing my cup. If I am to be the leader God needs me to be, I need to be more in Him and through that be more relational with my students. I need to meet my students where they are.

Jonathan Mckee put it best. He said that in order to understand the youth, I have to understand their culture. He gave the example that a family friend of his was going to move to China to be missionaries. They could not just move right away. Some things they did might be offensive, or just flat wrong. However, he said that this family studied the culture, language, and anything else they could for a year before they left. They wanted to have it down so that they could fit right in.

One of the things I gave to God this weekend was my own free time. I am going to do nothing but spend time in the world and Word of God as much as I can. However, with that I am going to dive my students down. I am going to raise up servant leaders that will change the world.

Get ready McDonough First United Methodist Church and c3 student ministries, there is a revolution of love, facial hair, and no skinny jeans coming. God has re-ignited my passion for youth ministry and I believe I now have a clear understanding of what and where God wants me to lead this group of students. Be prepared.

humbled...

2009-11-16T08:38:00.000-08:00

Today I write my blog post with a different outcome on life. You see, being humble is very important in life and today I sit here...corrected and humbled. Let me give you the back story of this, then I will tie it all in with Christ. I hope that whoever reads this blog can really feel Christ pour out through my posts.

It was a nice Tuesday afternoon about lunch time. Some local pastors around the Griffin/McDonough area and I went out to lunch together. Now the two pastors that I ate lunch with are both HUGE UGA fans. One even stated, "Consider this a giant rolling, red G (for the UGA symbol)."

As many of you know, I am a very big Auburn fan. Well the Auburn vs. UGA game was in a couple weeks from this lunch and me being the inexperienced youth pastor and young person that I am, I talked a lot of smack. I even did it on facebook.

WELL, come Sunday morning, I woke up humbled. As you see, UGA beat Auburn for the 4th year in a row. This was a sad day for me. However, I know that all the smack talk I did has a price and I will have to live with this fact for the next 363 days. All the smack I talked, well as they say, "Insert Foot Here".

All that being said, as I read my Bible this morning, I came across the story of the man who wanted to follow Jesus. This man has said that he lived a good life, has done everything according to the laws and scriptures, and wants to know what to do to follow Christ. Christ said that he must sell all his possessions and follow Him. The man could not do it.

Why do we struggle so much with all the things that we "have"? I thought Auburn had a decent football team. Regardless of football, I have been humbled in the fact that, I really don't own anything. Christ has blessed me with a position in life that I am in love with, and I can't do anything but lay down on my face and thank Him for all He has done for me. Each day I wake up, I see that Christ has given me another day to follow Him.

I talked with my senior high youth last night about discernment in the things that they do. How they should look at their lives and see where Christ is and is not in their lives. As I sat there telling them this, I remembered and shared with them the grief I felt, just that morning, about Christ in my life.

As I was sitting in the pew for Sunday morning church, I hit the icon on my iPhone for my Bible, but instead I hit the facebook icon (which is right next to it). I was hit with something write then. How often do I spend on facebook? How many times a day do I sit there and read about everyone else's lives and what they are doing? Then I thought, how often do I sit and read about God and update my statuses with Him?

We spend so much time in the possessions of this world and the things of this world, that we forget about the only possession that matters. That is that the spirit of Christ possesses us to go out and speak about Him in love to all those who want to hear it. We must share our faith with those around us, even if they know God. God can speak in many ways.

My prayer today is that you will spend less time on facebook, less time text messaging, less time watching TV, and spend more time living for God, understanding His word, and speaking to God about everything (update statuses with God) and talk about Christ to anyone who will hear it.

Soli Deo Gloria (To God be the glory)

Amen.

tradition...

2009-11-09T10:49:00.000-08:00

As I sit here in my office and I reflect on some things in my life. God has really put on my mind about tradition. Tradition plays a part in many peoples lives. We have church traditions, football traditions and much more. Jeff Francouer, a former Atlanta Braves player, grew a beard and worse his "lucky" underwear when he played for the Braves. This was to help him get out of his slump. It became a tradition for him to wear his "lucky" underwear to help him get better. We, in Atlanta, now expect the Braves to loose because it has been a tradition.

I was reading some facebook updates on Saturday, during a tradition of mine, and came across Geoffry Grubbs facebook post. It stated that he was going to a GEORGIA TECH game. Now for those of you who don't know Geoff, he is about 6'3 tall. He weighs a good 188. He is bald, old, and wrinkly. More important than all of that, he is a HUGE University of Georgia fan. He even has a UGA symbol on the back windshield of his truck. Now, I am not one to call out people, but this old man (who got the senior citizen discount) went to a GA Tech game. Don't believe me? Here is the proof...

A man who professes one thing and turns his back on tradition. I can say this, I am proud of him because UGA is terrible this year. But I can also say this, this picture was photo shopped. He did attend a game, however.

I want us to look at the traditions in our lives. We go to places that are full of traditions. We have things in our lives that become traditions after so many times of doing it. However, when tradition stops or changes, we get mad.

People get upset when you change tradition. Why is that? Why do we get mad when someone familiar changes? Isn't change supposed to be good?

I use Geoff as a humorous example of changing traditions, but the fact is that change can be a good thing. Every day I read my Bible, I learn more about Christ. My perspective changes. When I attend a new church, my traditions change.

We sometimes are so used to the norm, even in church, that the traditions become our Jesus. As I sat in my apartment this morning, I got on my knee's to pray and I opened my Bible. I thought for a second, that I do this almost every morning, but do I do it simply because I am used to doing it? Has tradition become my Jesus?

Today, I write my blog post about changing tradition. Get out of the norm. Christ is constantly evolving my mind and heart around Him. I am always learning new things about Christ, and finding Christ in new ways in my life. After I have these experiences, my views and traditions of Christ change.

Tradition is a good thing. It is good to be able to do some things the same way, but times change and so do the ways that we need to look at Christ. As I talked with one of my students last night, they asked me why we couldn't do things the way they used to be? This made me question my abilities as a youth minister. I felt as though I had done wrong and wondered what I can do to bring it back to retro.

Christ shows us that we must give everything to Him and die to ourselves daily. Christ has given us gifts to use for Him. We must show Him the love and the relationship He desires for us, in order to live for Him. So therefor we must die to ourselves. Sometimes dying to ourselves means that we must die to the old ways and start new. My life went from one extreme to the other when I became a believer. It is my prayer and my hope through this blog post, that you will examine your own lives, as I examine mine, and find the traditions that are meaningless. Find the traditions that will further your walk with Christ on a daily basis.

rebuilding...

2009-11-03T06:30:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks to the day that I heard the worst news of my life. It has been a strange 2 weeks. I feel numb. I have been more sensitive to things, I see the importance of things and the unimportance of other things. I have taken a lot to heart in the past few weeks. Sunday was a very rough day. I had a lot of things that got to me and it was hard for me to function. There is a lot to this. Let me explain my thought process here.

2 weeks ago I heard the worst news in the world and I just didn't know what to do. I was leaning on those who may have dealt with this before or have helped people through it. This whole time, I was leaning on those with wisdom around me and trying to get others to tell me how to feel or react. However, the only thing I wasn't doing was leaning on God. I was praying, but it was almost an anger prayer to God. Nothing in my life really made sense. I then became numb. My feelings stopped, my heart became guarded, and I shut down spiritually. This is not the way to go.

SO, as we move ahead in this story, we come to yesterday. After a very emotional and strange Sunday I was determined to work through things. I came into the office. I came in wanting to be organized. I had a determined spirit about me. I asked God the night before, laying in bed, to take it all from me. Take everything. Let me live in Him. Even after this prayer, I still felt as though I had failed in my ministry somehow. Somehow, I let down the parents and the students, the church, and most important, I felt as though I let down God in the direction He desired this youth ministry to go. I was broken. I was broken and numb.

Now, I sit here in my office, and I have a determined spirit about me again today. I was here at the church for 12 hours yesterday, and I am feeling refreshed. I spent time with the one I love, I spent time with God this morning, and even yesterday I was writing and idea board up on the chalk board for different talk series ideas, ministry ideas, and outreach ideas. God, and some talking with an old friend Eric, really put a new fire in me. As I was reading my iPhone Bible app (yes, I am that guy) I came across the verses in 2nd Corinthians.

2 Corinthians 13:5-6

⁵Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? ⁶And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test.

I have not failed God. Christ Jesus is in me. I have discovered that I have not failed the test. With Christ in me, I can do anything. Christ has told me I will do greater things than He. I have amazing things yet to do and it is all because of Christ that I am able to live and do these things in the first place. Wait and see readers, wait and see what God has for me.

People in my life may have failed me, but Christ never will. If He did, He would not be God. Keep your hearts, thoughts, and life on Christ for He is the only thing we can cling to in all area's of our life. He knows what goes on and what will go on. He desires to be with us and to love us and to know us. If you're Geoff Grubbs, He (and everyone else) knows how many hairs are on his head and if you have a lot of hair, He loved you even in your mothers womb. We must accept the grace and love the Christ has offered to us.

My numb feeling is coming and going. God is constant. He is the reason my heart beats. He is the reason I am breathing right now. I will fail those around me. I will fail God. In the end, I know that I am leaning on God.

organized...

2009-11-02T11:56:00.000-08:00

There are many things that you learn as you grow in the ministry. I have been a youth minister for about 4 years now and I am still learning so much and how to run a successful ministry and have a sustainable ministry as well. One of the biggest things I need to learn is organization.

I lack the simplest organizational skills, but today I made a 6 week plan. I remember hearing from my mentor that I need to always be 6 weeks in advance in my planning. I thought I listened, but NOW I know for sure. God really burdened me last night. As I laid in bed, I prayed to God to give me some guidance and wisdom in the situation I was in.

If we are not organized, it is hard to run anything successfully. I have learned this the hard way, but I know now how to be. Today is day 1 of a new type of ministry for me. I am reculturing my youth group and I am excited to see what God is doing.

And just to show you all how awesome my youth group is, we went to a destination unknown last night. We went to Southern Belle Farm here in McDonough. Here is the group shot of us being....us.

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good!

Geoff, my mentor, has let me in on a lot of the inside track of ministry. The one thing he has always stressed is organization. It is hard for a ministry to run when you don't have organization. It also opens up a way to tweak plans if something is not working right with your group.

Geoff is a great man and has been in ministry a LONG time. He is old and that is cool, but I thank God every day for putting him in my path. God really uses Geoff in my life. Now this is not a blog post solely on Geoff, though I am sure he would love that.

The purpose of this post is to say one thing. Being organized in your life opens up a lot of different ways to let God work through you. If you are organized in your prayer life, this can overflow into your study time with Christ. The study time can pour into your ministry as you grow to know and mature in Christ. Organization is key. Christ will work through you regardless, let us just be a vessel for Christ to use us and to help us be organized around Him.

a picture is worth a thousand words....

2009-10-29T08:53:00.000-07:00

I can only imagine what is going through your mind right now.

My Halloween Costume for 2009.

Any Questions?

communication...

2009-10-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

The other day I was watching TV and I a commercial came on that I love. It is an advertisement for an Italian food company. The food that they make are so good, it reminds them of the food their grandma's used to make. The commercial starts off with a guy at the table and he sits there with a can tied to a string. He say's, "Ring, Ring. Ring, Ring." The cook on the other end picks up. They start talking about the food, and even though it is a diet food, it still tastes great. This commercial makes me laugh every time.

When I watch that commercial I reminisce of the times when people would tie to cans together with a string and communicate. They would play telephone with this contraption that was made. The vibrations from one person's voice would carry through the string to the other can. You could literally talk to one another around the corner or even from one end of the yard to the other. It was a child's telephone with only one other person.

Communication between people and even animals has been around since the beginning of time. God communicated and the world was formed. The animals have ways of communication. Even today, communication is one of the most sophisticated things that we have. We will never understand the full amount of communication that is out there.

God craves our communication. The tin can on a string is kind of like our communication with God. We talk to Him directly. There is only one other person on the end. He sits there and waits for us to talk to Him, to show Him thanks, to ask for forgiveness, to tell Him about our day. God communicates back. However, the communication God sends to us can be in many different forms. Some we will never see, because we miss the big picture. Other times we see God in huge ways, when we are really in tune with God.

We always fail at communication. In order to maintain any type of relationship, we must communicate. We can communicate on a sub conscience level as well. Our movements in our body, the way we look, how we breathe, all these are other ways to communicate as well.

I remember a time in my life when I said I would pray for someone and never did, or just forgot. I normally would listen to people, say I would pray for them to make them feel better, and then go about my day as if nothing happened. What if God did that to us? What if He just sat there, listened, and never communicated back?

I try to remember this. Communication has failed in parts of my life and has hurt me in others, but I try to make it known what I am feeling at all times. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I try to communicate with everyone and be transparent with everyone I meet. I want to be as real as possible to all those around me.

The commercial campaign will stop eventually and I will find another commercial I love, but subtle reminder of how we can and should communicate with God.

crash (part 2)...

2009-10-27T07:06:00.000-07:00

This week has been the most emotional week of my life. I don't even know where to begin. It is kind of out in the open now amongst the people who know me and my family. On Wednesday morning, last week, my father walked into my office and told me he was leaving my mother after 32 years of marriage. There. I said it. Every time I think about it, I get hurt. I feel as though I have been deceived by this and I feel as if my entire world has come crashing down. I feel as though I have hit a tree head on at 85 miles per hour. I am still numb.

Looking back at my actions this week, I was angry. I was saying things I didn't mean. I was thinking the worst of my father, because he is the one who pulled the trigger here. Both my parents are at fault, but in the end, I know that God is still on the throne. Divorce is an ugly word. I never liked it, I don't believe in it, and I will never accept it. I believe that anything can be worked through. It is just hard to see such bad things happening in your life.

I have had a lot of prayers from those who love my family and me. This week has caused me to step back and look at my ministry, my walk with Christ, my relationships and a lot of other areas of my life. This week I have questioned God. I have asked Him why this is happening? Why does He let this happen? It has caused me to search deeper in my faith because of it.

On Sunday night, I told my youth group about my parents divorce. I told them about the struggles I went through and the emotions that I felt. I told them what I saw. I told them how I looked at things. I then took a turn in the message. I looked at Acts chapter 2. The community comes together to help solve a problem of one of the people in the community. When one person has a problem, the whole community comes together, dropping everything they are doing, to find a solution to the problem. I told my students that I am their youth minister, but it is time for them to minister to me a little.

I was never more vulnerable in my life. I felt weak and transparent. There was no hallmark group hug or anything of that nature. The point of the night was to get the students to question God about things that they don't understand. It was a bonding moment with us as a group. Whether or not it effected them in a way that I will see now or never, I know that God used me that night. Maybe I reached one student, but to me that is success.

We tend to get so bogged down in life with the little things. When the next pay check is coming in, a report you have yet to finish and it is due in 2 hours, who is going to feed the dog. There are also times that we get stressed about the small things. Suddenly, when a crash occurs, we tend to let all the small things go, and we take a step back.

The past few days, I have been able to take a step back. I have looked at my actions and my life and have seen where I was to where I am now. I have come down a long and lonesome road in my life at times. When I should have leaned on God, I tried to lean on my own understanding. The life of a Christian is that of submission and death and new life. We submit to the will of God, we die to ourselves, and we have new life in Christ. This is a daily thing we must do to live in the will of God. My friends and family are still part of my life, and I truly believe that God put many people in my life that know Him for a reason. I have a great inner circle of people who hold me accountable for my actions and who love on me when I need it. They know that they will always have that in return.

Life is basically starting over for me. All the traditions I knew are going to change. The holidays will be difficult. Life will have to alternate to the new part of my life. I do know this, God is still on the throne in my life. God is working constantly. He is looking at the actions of my parents, but He is still looking at my actions as well. God has really helped me mature in a week. I feel more empowered by Christ than ever before. I have been able to search my faith, question God, and grow deeper because of it. Don't ever think it is wrong to question God. This is what causes us to find out what we truly believe and this is how we mature in our faith.

I am numb. I will still be numb for a long time. The shock has not worn off. The anger is still there. However, God is still on the throne in my life.

"Out of the muck and mire, my God lifted me up. God picked me up off the ground and led me back to the path. He walked with me, He held me, and now He is guiding me in a new path. The dirt is off my back. My shoulders aren't so heavy. He walked with me, He helped me, and now He is guiding me in a new life. God wept with me when I turned around and saw where I was. God turned my eyes to the light of the world. His son, Jesus Christ. As I walked closer with God, I grew to love Him more. He knew everything about me, and yet He still hugged me. He walked with me, He held me, and now He is guiding me to a new relationship. As I walked with God, He showed me His son. Jesus hugged me. After the hug, I looked down and I was white as snow. I was clean. No more muck and mire around me. Only light and love. He walked with me, He held me, He showed me His son. Jesus and I spoke daily. I told Him what I was doing. He laughed at me sometimes and other times He was sad for me. Sometimes I forgot to talk to Him, but He was still there with arms wide open. He walked with me, He held me, He loves me. Christ's reign is on the throne of Heaven. Jesus is the lord of the world, who saves us all from the muck and mire. Jesus has set my life and my heart on fire. He walked with me, He held me, He loves.....you"- Mark Ashby