Wow. Where to begin. First off, I am sorry to ANYONE I offended. I wrote out of frustration and the vent came across as anger. I have a lot to learn when it comes to ministry but also acting Christ like. I have deleted the posts that have been causing some buzz. I wrote personal attacks on people and companies I always looked up to. Now I am at rock bottom because of the things I said and I am embarrassed about the way I represented Christ (which I didn't) and myself.

To all those I hurt and offended, I am sorry. You read a blog that was unedited and raw. It was written with passion. I would like to take a minute and share my heart if you don't mind reading a little further (trust me there are no more personal attacks).

Youth ministry has been my calling. I have never felt more passionate about ANYTHING in my life. I know this is what God placed me here for. I am sure that there are many of us out there that think and feel the same way. We might only be good at taking orders at Taco Bell or doing youth ministry, so we go the youth ministry route and take students to Taco Bell. My heart beats for reaching students for Christ. It is passion in me.

Over the past few years, my youth ministry ride has taken it's up and downs and its plateaus. It has been a ride that only Christ can make happen and I wouldn't change a thing. Recently, I let the world grab a hold of me, and let my emotions boil and explode under pressure before I really knew what I was doing. My blog normally brings 50 people...if that. I was expecting 80 people to read the post. Over the past 48 hours my blog has had over 1400+ views. There has been discussion and mostly in the fact that my vent came across as angry and vindictive. The vindictive and personal attacks were true, I did write that and I can't justify the reason why. The anger issue is wrong. It was frustration.

My whole goal is to do two things: I want to open up the "debate" about youth ministry moving to a family ministry model. I also want to help find a voice (which obviously won't be mine) for the smaller churches in the youth ministry world. Sometimes we can see how Saddle Back (as an example) and other big churches do youth ministry and we try to emulate it. We have gone commercial with our programming and we sometimes, and I am guilty of this, get lazy. We spend a lot of time on xbox and other forms of entertainment and kind of let the others do our work for us.

I think that the turn in youth ministry should be about community. Right now, I am on the outside looking in from my recent posts, but we need to look outside our windows. We see houses or streets with students walking by each day. This is another opportunity to reach a student and to be the image of Christ. We need to quit relying on the church to fill our ministry, and let God fill it with the spirit first, discipleship, evangelism and from there to reach out break barriers of race, financial status and language. We, as youth leaders, should be looking at community. However, I want to know what others think.
Do you feel we should move to a family ministry model? How do you see youth ministry going? Do you feel smaller churches have a voice in helping determine that factor?

This was the intent of my previous blog posts, which have since been deleted. I am sorry that I took a vindictive, talking head approach. In the end, I caused little discussion about the issue and brought only hurt and lost credibility. In the end, no matter my "status" as a youth ministry all star or not, I only care about honoring Christ. I failed miserably at that and I am sorry all those I hurt and I missed a HUGE opportunity to help raise awareness in a Christian manner. Again, I am sorry.
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